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Open Bar or No Bar???

lissa1014_23511938lissa1014_23511938 member
in Wedding Reception Forum
I'm the daughter of a Pastor and my fiancé is the nephew of a Pastor. We are contemplating open bar or no bar. We don't drink but we know some of our guests do. Were caught between what some church folk may think if there is an open bar, whilel some say that it's needed. We're fine with either choice, we just don't know which one is smarter.Should we have an open bar or no bar? There's even the option of no open bar but champagne serve for the toast and one bottle at each table for the evening? Advice?
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Re: Open Bar or No Bar???

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    A limited bar option is fine.  The only rule is that guests should not be required to pay for any drinks, alcoholic or no, or any other aspect of their hospitality.
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    kelligallahornkelligallahorn member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Our wedding is an hour drive from the city so we're not having a bar.  We contemplated on whether or not to have one...I don't drink but my fiance does.  We're just doing champagne :) 
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    chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Do what you want, having alcohol available for guests isn't forcing anyone to drink.

    Since both you and your FI don't drink, a limited bar might be a better option.
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    OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
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    Open bar. No one is forced to drink if they dont want to.
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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
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    I would do a limited open bar. Maybe a light and regular beer option, and white and red wine option. It's nice to provide for the preferences of your guests, within reason or budget. And for many, that includes a glass of wine with dinner. Church-going guests shouldn't be offended by its presence.
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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
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    kelligallahorn said:
    Our wedding is an hour drive from the city so we're not having a bar.  We contemplated on whether or not to have one...I don't drink but my fiance does.  We're just doing champagne :) 
    Not sure what an hour drive has to do with deciding not to have a bar....most weddings we attend are around an hour away from home and we're able to drink responsibly.
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    Lisax4156Lisax4156 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    We're having an open domestic beer bar and a soda bar for those who don't drink. Wine and mixed drinks are cash bar. A mixed drink is $4. I wish our budget had for more alcohol selection but, we're happy with the beer bar. Most everyone in our reception drinks domestic beer anyways.
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    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
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    lissa1014 said:
    I'm the daughter of a Pastor and my fiancé is the nephew of a Pastor. We are contemplating open bar or no bar. We don't drink but we know some of our guests do. Were caught between what some church folk may think if there is an open bar, whilel some say that it's needed. We're fine with either choice, we just don't know which one is smarter.Should we have an open bar or no bar? There's even the option of no open bar but champagne serve for the toast and one bottle at each table for the evening? Advice?

    Do YOU and your Fi want alcohol there? It's up to you guys, not anyone else, unless they're paying. And do NOT worry about your church folk say... they are not supposed to be judging you.

    You mentioned that some of your guests do drink. What do they prefer? Wine? Beer? Hard liquor? You could attempt a limited bar. It's a perfectly good option.
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    dalm0mdalm0m member
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    edited May 2014

    I would do a consumption bar.  That means if a guest orders a drink, you will get the bill at the end of the night.  It's usually much cheaper than an open bar.  It's sort of a pay as you go thing but the hosts (you) foot the bill, not your guests. 


    Since your father is the pastor I'm assuming many of these people will be from his Church.  Ask what he thinks is best.  Just don't have a cash bar. 

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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    The decision of whether to have a bar is up to you, your FI, and anyone who is helping to pay.  Do not worry about what the "church folks" will think or what your party friends will think.  If they are going to judge you for having a dry wedding or for serving drinks to guests that want them, they aren't your friends in the first place.  As long as you don't do something rude like charge your guests, you are within your rights to make whatever decision is best for you.

    IMHO, this is a good place for a limited bar.  Maybe a couple of bottles of wine on tables and a keg behind the bar, or beer and wine only served at the bar.  You certainly don't have to serve any alcohol at all, but I would offer a couple of selections instead of champagne only.  
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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Lisax4156 said:
    We're having an open domestic beer bar and a soda bar for those who don't drink. Wine and mixed drinks are cash bar. A mixed drink is $4. I wish our budget had for more alcohol selection but, we're happy with the beer bar. Most everyone in our reception drinks domestic beer anyways.
    This is awful.  You are pushing the cost of your reception onto your guests.  Instead, why not just serve what you can afford??  If you REALLY want to have wine and mixed drinks, find ways to cut elsewhere in your wedding budget or save up more for it.  But for the love of god, please don't charge your guests.  The reception is a thank you for the guests.....you don't thank them by asking them to pay for their drinks.
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    LDay2014LDay2014 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    JoanE2012 said:
    Lisax4156 said:
    We're having an open domestic beer bar and a soda bar for those who don't drink. Wine and mixed drinks are cash bar. A mixed drink is $4. I wish our budget had for more alcohol selection but, we're happy with the beer bar. Most everyone in our reception drinks domestic beer anyways.
    This is awful.  You are pushing the cost of your reception onto your guests.  Instead, why not just serve what you can afford??  If you REALLY want to have wine and mixed drinks, find ways to cut elsewhere in your wedding budget or save up more for it.  But for the love of god, please don't charge your guests.  The reception is a thank you for the guests.....you don't thank them by asking them to pay for their drinks.
    All I can think of is having my family over for dinner and saying, 'Sorry Grandma you want a glass of wine?  That'll be $4'...ugh
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