"Who gives this woman" alternative phrasing

Re: "Who gives this woman" alternative phrasing

• manateehugger member

  

  May 2014

  Our pastor gave us alternative language that asks all the parents/family to stand and says something like, "Do you give your blessing and loving support to the union of this couple?"

  
  

  You can go with the blessing/support route, or you can completely skip over that part and just have your father walk you down and move right on into the ceremony. 
  

  
  

  

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  May 2014

  You could just skip it. At Catholic weddings, women aren't given away in marriage. The father and/or mother escort the bride to the altar, usually shake the groom's hand, hug the bride and take their seats. 

  
  

  At my DD's and S'sIL wedding, both sets of parents were invited to the front to join hands with the couple, as the JOP read a blessing. It was very nice. 

                     

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• ElcaB member

  

  May 2014

  Either skip it or go with PDKH's suggestion. 

  

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• CMGragain member

  

  May 2014

  I have heard "Who presents this woman to be joined in matrimony?"  Answer: Her family does.
  

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2014

  I'd just omit it.  Women do not need to be "presented" to be joined in matrimony.
  

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• QueerFemme member

  

  May 2014

  I can't stand "who gives" or "who presents".   You aren't an asset to be contributed.   It's gross.

  I would just skip it.  have your father walk you down the aisle and give you a kiss, and be done.  Nothing needs to be said during the "handoff".

  

  Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

  http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
  

  http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
  

  http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
  

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• VulgarGirl member

  

  May 2014

  We're skipping it. My mom and dad are walking me down the aisle. They say they'll kiss me on the cheek, high five each other, and then go sit down. No presenting or giving of me.

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• NYCMercedes member

  

  May 2014

  MagicInk said:

  We're skipping it. My mom and dad are walking me down the aisle. They say they'll kiss me on the cheek, high five each other, and then go sit down. No presenting or giving of me.

  
  This cracks me up, their high five! As if, "oh good, off the payroll" or "finally launched" or "we're done"!

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• SoontobeMrsNytes member

  

  May 2014

  I agree, I don't like the "give" or "presents". I just wanted to find someway to include him. I do, however, like @PDKH 's suggestion.

  It may seem silly to some, but my dad is typical Italian-Catholic. This seems important to him. So, I'm trying to find a happy medium.

  Thank you all for your input!

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• VulgarGirl member

  

  May 2014

  NYCMercedes said:

  MagicInk said:

  We're skipping it. My mom and dad are walking me down the aisle. They say they'll kiss me on the cheek, high five each other, and then go sit down. No presenting or giving of me.

  
  This cracks me up, their high five! As if, "oh good, off the payroll" or "finally launched" or "we're done"!

  Right! I was like "you want to high five?" I mean I don't care. Hell I hope someone gets a picture of it! But it's just so funny.

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• Gina0887 member

  

  May 2014

  We are doing a blessing... 

  

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• Gina0887 member

  

  May 2014

  "As our songs and daughters find partners and find homes for the next generation, each family is enriched and enlarged. Parents, this occasion is a special celebration for you who have brought these children into the world and nurtured them into adulthood. Today you are witnessing another stage in the lives of your son and daughter. Your continuing support will be needed as ___ and ___ unite in marriage.Will you who have loved and nurtured these two try with the greatest love and wisdom you have to support this new couple?"

  

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• kirby400 member

  

  May 2014

  @Gina0887 where did you find that? That's wonderful!

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• aquietseason member

  

  May 2014

  Can you say something like "Who stands with/stands behind this woman as she is joined in matrimony"?

  
  

  @Gina0887 's blessing is beautiful, btw - I'm definitely thinking about stealing that

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• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2014

  @Gina0887's wording is beautiful.

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• OwningAHome1981 member

  

  May 2014

  MagicInk said:

  We're skipping it. My mom and dad are walking me down the aisle. They say they'll kiss me on the cheek, high five each other, and then go sit down. No presenting or giving of me.

  We skipped it as well. No one cared. We didn't have a religious ceremony and we wanted it to be as quick as possible so people could eat, drink & dance.
  

  

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• princessleia22 member

  

  May 2014

  We are going with "Who supports this Couple’s Decision to become husband and wife?".   Then we are having all four of our parents stand and say "We Do", rather than just my dad "giving me away". 

  I kind of wanted both my mom & dad to walk me down the aisle, but my dad wasn't happy with that idea and it was obvious that he would be hurt by that. So, this seemed like a good compromise.  And we really like the idea of having all our parents involved and voicing their support during our ceremony.  

   

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• SoontobeMrsNytes member

  

  May 2014

  Our wedding was last week, and we ended up using @PDKH's suggestion. My Dad and I were happy with the compromise.

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