Dog people-- help us decide when to get a dog!

lkristenj · May 2014

This is long, but I have a lot to say about dogs. Please bear with me. This is all my opinion as well, and many may not agree with all of it. In the end, you have to do what's right for you and your situation. I only know from my experiences.

The only good argument I have for a puppy is the cat situation. Some dogs just have high prey drives and won't tolerate them and it's hard to undo a lifelong habit/hatred sometimes, though it can be done. Most adult cats can fend for themselves, though, especially against smaller dogs. Just give them a place to escape that the dog can't reach until the dog learns that they don't have to chase them. Most dogs will get to this point with cats, but some won't.

That being said I would highly, HIGHLY recommend an older dog. Anything over 1 year old becomes much more hard to adopt out than dogs under that age. Anything black is also harder to adopt out. Dogs 3 or older are my favorite and often overlooked.

I have done the whole puppy thing and it is A LOT of work. I will only adopt adult dogs now. While it's true that you can shape puppies from the beginning, you also have to really work at it. Many months and hours of consistency, even when inconvenient (like the middle of the night). Puppies can normally only hold their bladders for their age in months plus one, in general. So, even a 5 month old puppy can only be expected to "hold it" for 6 hours in the best of circumstances. Also, it's really hard to tell one puppy personality from another when very young. You could end up with a dog that does not fit with your lifestyle once grown. Shelter puppies are also hard because you won't have an idea of size once grown with mixes and breed guesses. You'd be surprised how much baby Chihuahuas can look like baby Pit Bulls or Labs. Adult dogs are fully grown and have set personalities and you can normally pick a dog that fits your family. While they may have a few bad habits, they normally learn housetraining MUCH faster (I had mine good in a week or so, not multiple months like with puppies) and will usually adjust to any household rules with consistency and patience. I have not found not knowing their backgrounds to be a detriment to integrating my adult dogs into my home. I wish I knew, certainly, but that hasn't prevented them from becoming part of my home.

I have volunteered at various shelters for 5 years and have several strong opinions about such things, and a lot of experience with matching dogs to people. That being said, cats can present a challenge because it depends so heavily on the specific dog you look at. Breeds do not mean much to me, really. I know that in general, breeds will give you an idea of energy level, etc, but every dog within a breed is an individual. Most shelter dogs are mixes, and even though staff tries their best, unless it was brought in by someone who knew the parents, it is highly unlikely for the mix to be anything more than a guess. I would not rely on or trust these breed guesses as the definitive answer for what any particular dog is. I know one of the shelters I've volunteered for would pick fancy breeds or rare breeds and call the dog a mix of that to make it more desirable when there is a slimmer than slim chance of that actually being the case. Sometimes the dog wouldn't even look like that breed! So, take the breed with a grain of salt and evaluate the individual more so than a breed. Keep an open mind and you could surprise yourself.

The biggest thing to me when choosing a dog is personality. If you want a dog that is super cuddly and calm, weigh a laid-back personality over a specific look and I promise you'll be happier for it in the end. Shelters are horrible places to assess personality most of the time, because it is a very high-stress environment and dogs react differently to stress and may exhibit traits that are outside their normal range. Some dogs get super hyper and yappy. Some dogs completely shut down, but really come alive outside of that environment. You want a dog that connects with you. Because of my experience both in dog training and at shelters, I can normally tell a dog that is stressed from the kennel over one that's naturally standoffish. Tip: If the shelter has an off-leash area to get to know the dog in, let it explore the area before expecting it to pay attention to you. It may seem like the dog doesn't like you, but if you think about it, they've been stuck in a small area for a long time and this could be the first exposure to something different in days or even weeks. Give them that time before expecting any attention from them and you could get a better result, so don't be afraid to be patient.

Dogs are seldom the same once you get them home as when you first meet them. Their personalities will seem to change as they get comfortable. This is normal. Hopefully, you were able to recognize the bigger parts of their personality and chose a dog that is compatible with your lifestyle. A dog that seems super shy in the shelter can actually be a dog that blossoms in your home and becomes fiercely loyal and friendly to you. A dog that seems aloof and uncaring can become like Velcro to your side once he figures out that you aren't just another person walking into and out of his life. A dog that was bouncing off the walls crazy can settle into an active household and be a great dog when given an exercise outlet.

I have adopted 3 shelter dogs. All are different. All are wonderful. My first is a "Australian Shepherd mix" which actually has hair like a Lab. He wanted nothing to do with me at the shelter and was returned 3 times in the past. He was 3 when I adopted him. He is approaching 7 now. He is still a little aloof, but is completely reliant on me and has bonded really well. He just has an independent personality. He needed training, which I gave him, and LOVES fetch more than life. He's my heart dog. My second was an attempt to foster. This dog is a black "German Shepherd mix" that was going to die for being too shy to be adopted at just 1.5-years-old. He took forever to come around to me (2 weeks just for me to touch him without cowering and longer to actually like me) but now that he finally has more confidence, he is one of the best dogs I've ever known. He is super laid-back and never does anything wrong more than once. Even non-dog people love him. He is super loyal and I am the one person in his life. The world could be going up in flames and if I was there, all would be right to this dog. He accepts other people now, but does not trust easily and gets worried when I leave him. I adopted him after no one wanted him for 1 year and it was clear he made me "his person". I couldn't uproot him from my life. He is almost 5 now. The third is FI's dog. He wanted a laid-back type and immediately bonded with a hyper one-year-old "Corgi/Pit mix". She was not what he expected to like, but they bonded fast and hard. He didn't adopt what he was looking for, but at least he knew she would be hyper and didn't expect her to be something she's not. She would never be laid-back. She is the quintessential street dog. Smart, bold, and pushy. She's truly a pistol and keeps us on our toes. She really blossomed out of the shelter too. While always showing that she was energetic and LOVED people in the shelter, she really gained confidence at home and rules the house now. She is also still the most cuddly, needy, touchy-feely dog I've ever seen, which is why he fell in love with her in the first place. She's 2.5 years old.

I have helped my cousin find a small dog to do agility with that still had a low enough prey drive to live with cats. He fits perfectly in their family. I have also seen dogs returned to the shelter because they did not focus on personality and picked the dog they liked the look of the most. So, I really encourage you to think about it long-term and really evaluate the way the dog acts, both inside a kennel, outside, and on a walk if possible.

Now, I will give you some ideas on breed. Terrier mixes can go either way. Some are super high prey drives and will not leave cats alone. Others are more relaxed. There are normally plenty of smaller, scruffy-looking terrier types in shelters. Dachshunds are another that can go either way. Chihuahuas and other "toy" types I don't typically like, just because they tend to be yappy, stubborn, and high-maintenance. Not always, though. I've met many good ones too. Anything with longer hair will need consistent grooming and if double-coated will likely shed heavily twice a year. Small dogs are not as common in shelters as big ones and they normally get adopted faster. There's just more demand for little dogs.

You can get an idea of prey drive by how the dog reacts when walking past the other dogs (though that could be a reaction to how those dogs react to it as well) and how it reacts to a toy being thrown. Most dogs with a high prey drive will chase anything that moves quickly. If the dog is easily bored by toys and pays no mind to other dogs, it has a decent chance of being good with cats (after an adjustment period). Only do this test after the dog has explored, otherwise it may be distracted by other sights and smells and not pay attention to the toy at all. You could also see if the dog will chase you if you run away from it, though be warned you may get your heels nipped.

Other things to do when looking for a new dog is to evaluate how tolerant it is of touching. Only do this if you think the dog will be okay with it, after looking at its behavior overall. Pull the ears gently. Grab the tail. Pick up and hold the feet. Don't put yourself at risk for a bite, though. If the dog shows resistance or discomfort, stop. I wouldn't be alarmed by slight resistance to these things, but it's a good idea to know. Clap. Do loud noises startle the dog? How does the dog take treats (note: some dogs will not eat when stressed)? Does it follow the treat? This is an indication of how easy the dog is motivated for training with food. If not, training can be more difficult, but not impossible. My dog works better for a ball reward than for food, for example, but he has to know the rules of the game. Will the dog turn and look at you when you call? It doesn't have to come or anything, but does it stop and turn to you? If not, that's okay. You may just be dealing with a more independent or shy dog. FI's dog would fling herself at anyone who called her. It was evident from the beginning that people were her thing. She loved being petted, and that hasn't changed. My first dog was more interested in everything else. He's super independent. He looked at me, but not much more. Despite that, he's still a loving member of my household. My failed foster attempt would not acknowledge my calls. He was super avoidant and shy. He would actually look away if I showed him any mind. But, like I said, he has turned into one of the best dogs I've ever known. It just took a long time and a lot of patience. Shy dogs can often be diamonds in the rough.

I think that time is more important than money when it comes to introducing a dog to your home. Of course, you want to make sure that the dog's needs can be met, but if you can afford a collar, leash, bowls (you could even use your own temporarily if needed, or Tupperware), a toy or two, and food, you should be okay. Most shelters will take care of their initial surgery and vaccinations and some will even give you a certificate for a free exam at local vets who partner with them to be used within 3 days of adoption to ensure that the dog is healthy. There are unlikely to be any big problems with adult, vaccinated dogs. Puppies can contract Parvo, Distemper and other diseases in the shelter because their immune systems aren't fully developed. This is a risk to adopting puppies from shelters and can result in high vet bills (or even death) very soon after adoption. I don't say it to scare you, but you need to be aware and ask about the quarantine policy for young puppies that keep them safe. Most shelters will keep puppies separate from the adults to limit exposure. Being with the dog is important in those first few days, however, don't fall into the trap of being there too much. Separation anxiety can start if the dog never learns that leaving is okay and you will come back. Take short breaks from time to time and you should be able to avoid this.

I've spoken a lot about shelters, but rescue groups are also good. Many are breed-specific and can give you much more information about any particular dog and the breed norms/expectations. These groups also do not typically have physical locations and rely on fosters to take care of the dogs. This can mean that they know the dog's personality very well, that they know if it will tolerate cats/has experience with cats (the dog could even be fostered in a cat household), and can give you much more detail than any shelter volunteer could. The dog may also be better trained because it is already living in a house. It can also mean more stringent adoption requirements, and having to make appointments to meet a dog, one dog at a time (unless they're holding an adoption event). Both shelters and rescue groups are excellent ways to find the dog of your dreams.

I'm sorry for writing a novel, but I think this is important. If you have any other questions, no matter how silly, you can send a message to my inbox here. I love dogs and helping people adopt them. If you need to know anything about the shelter experience in general, I may be able to help. Shelters are not always pretty or pleasant, but adoption saves two lives; the life of your dog, and the life of the dog you freed space for. I applaud you for your desire to adopt a dog and do so in an informed way.

I will end by saying do not be afraid to take your time. If you do not find the right dog on the first visit, come back again. Shelters get new dogs every day. If one dog in a rescue group doesn't gel well, meet another some other time. Take the time, know what you want, and be willing to wait/search for it. It will be worth it. Having the right dog in your home makes owning a dog so much easier.

P.S. I will also mention that it's probably not a good idea to bring your cat to the shelter. Some shelters may allow it and have spaces designed for this, but others don't have the facilities and may prohibit outside animals to prevent any potential spread of disease that may be present in the shelter to your family pet. At least call ahead and ask. Also, most cats get very stressed by travel and by being surrounded by unfamiliar dogs. While it would be nice to know beforehand, it may not be the best for your cat's wellbeing. In the end you know your cat and can find out about any particular shelter's policies.

lkristenj · May 2014

I know I harp on personality. It is important to consider the differences between personality and training. A dog that jumps on you constantly needs training, but could also be hyper/high-energy. You may want a dog with energy, but not one that jumps. Jumping can be addressed with training, but the dog will always have to have consistent exercise to drain excess energy. Always consider if training can fix any behaviors that you don't like before dismissing a dog with otherwise good personality.

MuppetOverlord · May 2014

I always feel like now is the right time to own a dog. I thank you for rescuing. I thank you for considering older dogs. The dogs I've adopted were 1-3 years old. I would've adopted older, I just chose on breed.

I recommend little spaniels because I love them but really, for an apt, I'd look at low energy dogs, smaller breeds

Nothing surprised me when I first got any dog, but if you are looking at older dogs, you will have to consider things like I am right now. Mine is 11 and he needs a dental cleaning every 2 years (costs me around $500-700).

Also, over the past many years, we've had a few issues like $800 from a vet who scammed me when my dog had the runs... $800 for fluids and dog immodium... and then about the same for surgery to remove a fox tail that my other dog snorted.

I suggest getting a Care Credit card when getting a dog. Its a cc that gives you 6 months no interest with medical situations, including vets

JCbride2015 · May 2014

@lkristenj Thanks for all that detailed info! It is really helpful. And we definitely wouldn't bring our cats to a shelter. They get too stressed out by traveling.

@MuppetOverlord (really, and everybody else, too)-- I think this thread has helped convince me about older dogs.

I think we'll be going to the shelter within the next couple of weeks! And thanks for the reminder, too, that it may take a few visits and/or contact with a rescue organization. I want to make sure we find the best match.

lkristenj · May 2014

@JCbride2015 - No problem. I'm passionate about this subject and really truly love to help.

Energy was a big concern of mine since I also live in an apartment, but even my high-energy Aussie mix did fine. He's slowed down a lot since he was 3, but as long as I trained, walked, and played, he did fine even then. Too smart for his own good, though. I also recommend crate training. I always find it interesting that working a dog's brain with training will leave them just as exhausted as going for a long walk. Thinking can wear them out too (but is no substitute for exercise).

I do evaluations for a local Australian Shepherd rescue group. If there's a dog they like in my area, they can send me to check out its personality before pulling it to their group. I do many of those tests I mentioned. It's also a rewarding way for me to spend my time and support a breed I love.

JCbride2015 · May 2014

Le sigh. So my dad recently adopted an adult dog and I texted him to ask about it.

He basically said he thinks a dog would tie us down too much and we should wait a year or so. Then this happened....

Dad: It's such a major lifestyle change/comitment, and you guys are young and shouldn't be that tied down

Dad: Since you're planning kids, maybe giving yourself more time with no tie down will be nice to look back on later

Me: Lol I was just thinking... God what is he gonna say when I say I want kids? Wait 10 more years!

Dad: 20!!

I giggled. A lot. My dad is not really "dad-like" in a lot of ways but I think it freaks him out a little that I'm getting married and settling down!

I'm thinking about his advice but I am still leaning that this summer is a good time. I'd rather get the dog while I'll be home a lot more.

He also suggested fostering a dog first so we can get a feel for how much it would change our lives. Has anybody done that? Would you say it's a good idea? I think I'd just be so sad when it left to another home.

lkristenj · May 2014

I fostered and "failed", meaning that I adopted my foster dog. It is rewarding but difficult at the same time. Some shelters and rescues have foster-to-adopt programs. I might recommend that for you. Fostering is meant to be recurring, making you a resource for the rescue or shelter. Adopting can take a person out of the fostering pool, thereby calling it "failure". I fostered for a year before adopting, but he was a special and difficult case. I wouldn't say your dad is wrong, but just like kids, there's never a perfect time to add a dog. My dad wanted me to wait too. I didn't. I got my dog one month after graduating and moving to the city. I barely had my feet under me. I have never regretted it. Having a dog changes your life, for sure. But if you're ready, it's all a good thing.

Sammyantha13 · May 2014

JCbride2015 said:

FiancB said:

I'll add in that IMPO pet insurance is a waste. There are a lot of common issues they won't cover. I think you're financially better off making sure you have a few hundred dollars in an emergency account at any given time. There aren't many things that will cost more than that, especially for a small dog.

Small dogs are often prone to slipping patellas, and the buggy eyed ones can have an eye pop out but again, not super expensive to fix, not like a torn ACL or hip dysplasia in a big dog.

OK this is only as far as I've read down the thread so excuse me if somebody else has already noted this-- but OMFG!!! That sounds terrifying!

Bostons have 'buggy' eyes, but it's not like they just go around popping out, haha. Out of the 15 Boston's that I mentioned my family has had, there's been only one with that issue. It was my grandmother's and it was back in the 60's. They took her to a kennel while they were gone and she tried to dig out under a chain link fence and got her eye caught. (Sorry, I know that's gruesome.) But that's the only story I've heard of Boston's having problems losing eyes, and she was just as happy with one eye. I think maybe pugs or frenchies have slightly buggier eyes.

Forgot to mention--Boston's are also super easy to train. They are huge people pleasers and like to make their owners happy. As opposed to like, Husky's, which I hear can be difficult to train since they're so independent. And while I mentioned that they love to play, they also are huge cuddlers. Basically if you're up they'll be up and if you're relaxing on the couch they'll be relaxing too. We named our puppy 'Velcro' for this reason...this breed loves to be by your side!

As far as fostering...just be prepared to keep the dog as your own. Either because you fall in love with it and can't bear to give it up, or because it's an older dog that has slim chances of getting adopted. I know with Midwest Boston Terrier Rescue, it seems like 75% of the people who foster end up keeping the dogs!

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

Sammyantha13 said:

JCbride2015 said:

FiancB said:

I'll add in that IMPO pet insurance is a waste. There are a lot of common issues they won't cover. I think you're financially better off making sure you have a few hundred dollars in an emergency account at any given time. There aren't many things that will cost more than that, especially for a small dog.

Small dogs are often prone to slipping patellas, and the buggy eyed ones can have an eye pop out but again, not super expensive to fix, not like a torn ACL or hip dysplasia in a big dog.

OK this is only as far as I've read down the thread so excuse me if somebody else has already noted this-- but OMFG!!! That sounds terrifying!

Bostons have 'buggy' eyes, but it's not like they just go around popping out, haha. Out of the 15 Boston's that I mentioned my family has had, there's been only one with that issue. It was my grandmother's and it was back in the 60's. They took her to a kennel while they were gone and she tried to dig out under a chain link fence and got her eye caught. (Sorry, I know that's gruesome.) But that's the only story I've heard of Boston's having problems losing eyes, and she was just as happy with one eye. I think maybe pugs or frenchies have slightly buggier eyes.

Forgot to mention--Boston's are also super easy to train. They are huge people pleasers and like to make their owners happy. As opposed to like, Husky's, which I hear can be difficult to train since they're so independent. And while I mentioned that they love to play, they also are huge cuddlers. Basically if you're up they'll be up and if you're relaxing on the couch they'll be relaxing too. We named our puppy 'Velcro' for this reason...this breed loves to be by your side!

As far as fostering...just be prepared to keep the dog as your own. Either because you fall in love with it and can't bear to give it up, or because it's an older dog that has slim chances of getting adopted. I know with Midwest Boston Terrier Rescue, it seems like 75% of the people who foster end up keeping the dogs!

A common problem with pugs is because their eyes are so buggy, they either get scratched up by their litter mates and have vision problems, or their eyelashes grow inward instead of outward. The surgery to fix the eyelashes is really expensive, so a lot of breeders will abandon the puppies when they're born that way.

Typically, rescue organizations will give you a trial run with the dog to see if it's a good fit. If it's not, they're happy to take the dog back rather than have it continue in the wrong environment. So you always have the opportunity to realize "this just isn't the right time/place/situation/dog for me." The woman I adopted Willy from had me sign a contract stating that if anything EVER went wrong with him, I was to call her first rather than giving him away to anyone else. They're really committed to making sure they find the best homes for everyone.

smalfrie19 · May 2014

JCbride2015 said:

Le sigh. So my dad recently adopted an adult dog and I texted him to ask about it.

He basically said he thinks a dog would tie us down too much and we should wait a year or so. Then this happened....

Dad: It's such a major lifestyle change/comitment, and you guys are young and shouldn't be that tied down
Dad: Since you're planning kids, maybe giving yourself more time with no tie down will be nice to look back on later

Me: Lol I was just thinking... God what is he gonna say when I say I want kids? Wait 10 more years!

Dad: 20!!

I giggled. A lot. My dad is not really "dad-like" in a lot of ways but I think it freaks him out a little that I'm getting married and settling down!

I'm thinking about his advice but I am still leaning that this summer is a good time. I'd rather get the dog while I'll be home a lot more.

He also suggested fostering a dog first so we can get a feel for how much it would change our lives. Has anybody done that? Would you say it's a good idea? I think I'd just be so sad when it left to another home.

He is right thought. You can't just up and go with a dog and you cant just say, oh maybe we will crash here for the night. I mean it when I say its like having kids. Part of the reason my FI and I have not been on vacation in 2 years is because of our dog. Not that its a problem, but its something you have to think about and additionally factor in when pricing out vacations.

Its a MAJOR commitment and lifestyle change. I really mean its like having kids.

Dignity100 · May 2014

You've gotten A LOT of good advice here.

Thoughts:

--What unexpected expenses surprised you when you first got your dog?
My first dog came from a backyard breeder. She was a medical mess. She had:
Puppy Mange
Bad Allergies (to fleas) - off the charts, vet never seen numbers as high as hers
Hip dysplasia
Arthritis
At 5 yrs she was diagnosed with bone cancer (osteosarcoma). She passed away 1 month shy of her 6th birthday. We went through amputation and holistic treatment.

--What books/resources were most helpful when training?
I volunteered at a shelter for 6 months before getting a dog. This was the best resource and I highly recommend it!!!

--Puppy vs. adult dog thoughts?
Both have advantages. When I got my last puppy, I was totally not looking forward to all the training and housebreaking that it would come with. She came home and was perfect, had a handful of accidents (all my fault of course). I prefer dogs 6mos-2years though because they can hold their bladder longer. General rule is # of months + 1, so a 3 month old puppy can go for 4 hours.

--Breed recommendations for an apartment with cats?

That's up to the individual dog. If you're going with a shelter pet, you can hopefully see if one of the dogs have had cat exposure. My Newfoundland is very very very lazy and pretty quiet, though she's 125 lbs, I think she'd be fine with apartment life. Some of the sight hounds (greyhounds, whippets, etc) can be very prey driven, so be careful about that.

My thoughts on Pet Insurance:
I took all of Denali's vet bills (she's the dog I lost to cancer) and the rules of several pet insurance and added everything up with how much I paid for her issues over time. IF they would have covered her holistic vet expenses; I was still ahead paying out of pocket by like $35. It is better to take the $$ you would have put into pet insurance and open up a savings account for your animals for emergency. If that is too much and you really want the pet insurance I would probably go with Embrace. With MOST pet insurance, you are still paying for the bill upfront and the insurance is simply reimbursing you for the portion they feel is necessary (at least that's how it was when I looked).

FiancB · May 2014

I would add a nitpick dog care nazi thing of mine... I really believe in buying quality dog food. A decent rule of thumb is that if you can find it at the grocery store, it's crap. Some are crappier than others. But overall the food sold by pet or feed stores is much higher quality than those at grocery stores. Try to avoid ingredients that say things like "meal" or "by-product", and a protein should be one of the first couple of ingredients. Buy dry- it's better for their teeth and you aren't wasting money by purchasing the water in wet food.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

FiancB said:
I would add a nitpick dog care nazi thing of mine... I really believe in buying quality dog food. A decent rule of thumb is that if you can find it at the grocery store, it's crap. Some are crappier than others. But overall the food sold by pet or feed stores is much higher quality than those at grocery stores. Try to avoid ingredients that say things like "meal" or "by-product", and a protein should be one of the first couple of ingredients. Buy dry- it's better for their teeth and you aren't wasting money by purchasing the water in wet food.

I totally agree with this, especially depending on breed. Small breed dogs have different needs than larger ones. Willy eats a wheat-free small bite food... his skin breaks out when he eats cheap food. We probably wouldn't have noticed if he had fur! We're big fans of Nutro Natural Choice for all our family dogs.

JCbride2015 · June 2014

lolo883 said: I would add a nitpick dog care nazi thing of mine... I really believe in buying quality dog food. A decent rule of thumb is that if you can find it at the grocery store, it's crap. Some are crappier than others. But overall the food sold by pet or feed stores is much higher quality than those at grocery stores. Try to avoid ingredients that say things like "meal" or "by-product", and a protein should be one of the first couple of ingredients. Buy dry- it's better for their teeth and you aren't wasting money by purchasing the water in wet food. I totally agree with this, especially depending on breed. Small breed dogs have different needs than larger ones. Willy eats a wheat-free small bite food... his skin breaks out when he eats cheap food. We probably wouldn't have noticed if he had fur! We're big fans of Nutro Natural Choice for all our family dogs.

----------Why do the boxes always disappear?----------

Yep, we're already like this with our cats. We have to special order their food online. If we do get a dog this summer, I'll look into a good food for him/her, too!

@Smalfrie19: You're totally right. It is a big lifestyle adjustment. We have had a taste of it because we often watch my sister's dog for days or up to a week at a time, but it would be a big change to have that be an everyday thing. Fortunately/unfortunately we don't travel much except to visit family, and we could bring the dog anytime we go to my mom's place, so I don't think travel would be the biggest problem. More that we'd have to get used to leaving time in the morning to walk and play, making sure we aren't away from the house for too long, etc.

We are going to a family wedding the weekend of July 4 so we definitely won't get a dog before then. We'll continue to think about it. Thanks for the input, everyone!

ETA: box is gone.... and all my badges are gone! Noooo!

MollyandD · June 2014

I admit right now that I didn't read other posts.

I love animals, so much that I stopped eating meat years ago and will cry if I hear sad stories. I definitely recommend that you get a dog from a shelter. I decided my next dog will be an older one, because they need me most. However, you could get a 3 or 4 year old dog and be very happy. They are old enough that people tend to overlook them in favor of puppies, but young enough to give you many loving years.

Puppies are so cute. They have to be. If they weren't, no one would want them. They go through teething, potty training issues, and do not have a reliable sleep schedule yet. That means 2am on a Wednesday could feel like perfect play time. The love they give back is priceless, but you have to be willing to spend a lot of time teaching them good habits so that they don't develop bad ones. I had great luck with my current girl, because I bought her a TON of toys. She has more toys than your average child, I think. I kept her chewing directed in that way. She is also crate trained, which eliminates accidents, and she is trained to ring bells when we are home if she needs to go out. My baby girl is brilliant, but I spent many hours training her as well. She has gone through many dog training classes and earned her Canine Good Citizen Award.

My baby girl is a poodle. I'm in love with this breed. I grew up having poodles, and love how easy to train they are. I'm looking into therapy dog training for my girl, because she LOVES everyone. I think it would be fun to take her to nursing homes and hospitals to visit people who need some love from a perfect little dog.

If you have a lot of time, you can consider a dog under a year old. But remember, they all grow up. A dog a few years old will be much easier, and you could be the only person who would ever give him or her a loving home. Puppies will be taken by someone else.

ETA: I have bunnies, and that went into my thoughts when I chose a dog. My girl is great with bunnies and all small animals. That is a perk of getting a puppy. She grew up learning to be gentle with bunnies. If you have another pet, take it to the shelter with you, and test how the dog you like is acting.

My aunt has a Yorkie and a terrier mix that come over. They weren't raised around bunnies, but have been raised being able to go places with my aunt often. They also are fine around my bunnies and around other small animals. Any dog can be taught, but some have an easier time.

FiancB · June 2014

JCBride, sounds like you'll be a great dog mommy! Molly I'm glad to hear your poodle is good with the bunnies. I am really leaning toward poodles but wasn't sure what their prey drive tends to be like. A fellow intern I lived with had one and she was so ridiculously smart and funny.

MollyandD · June 2014

FiancB said:

JCBride, sounds like you'll be a great dog mommy! Molly I'm glad to hear your poodle is good with the bunnies. I am really leaning toward poodles but wasn't sure what their prey drive tends to be like. A fellow intern I lived with had one and she was so ridiculously smart and funny.

My previous poodles were great with small animals too. My last poodle baby was 14 when she died. She was around my oldest bunny, and I got the bunny when she was an adult dog. I never had any problems. Poodles were originally bred to retrieve water fowl during hunting. They were bred as retrievers with soft bites, not hunters. Then, people realized how smart they are, and they became circus dogs.

KatieinBkln · June 2014

lkristenj said:

I know I harp on personality. It is important to consider the differences between personality and training. A dog that jumps on you constantly needs training, but could also be hyper/high-energy. You may want a dog with energy, but not one that jumps. Jumping can be addressed with training, but the dog will always have to have consistent exercise to drain excess energy. Always consider if training can fix any behaviors that you don't like before dismissing a dog with otherwise good personality.

This distinction right here is the main reason we're sticking with our little guy, despite his problems. His true personality is nothing but sweetness and playfulness, so we believe he has it in him to be that way all the time, with our help.

lkristenj · June 2014

In my city, there's a relatively new program that uses short-term fosters. The goal of the program is to transfer dogs out of areas with very high shelter populations into areas that don't have enough dogs to meet demand. These dogs have to be out of the shelter for 2 weeks before traveling to ensure they don't have any diseases before getting on the plane and going to another state. Normally, these dogs have homes already lined up for them before they even leave my area. If I foster again, I'd do something like this. I would only be responsible for my foster for 2 weeks, there's a definite date that it ends (the date the plane is scheduled to fly them away), and the dog usually already has a home waiting for it. To me, that is the way to foster if you can. While I probably would get somewhat attached, I could let the dogs go in that situation and not feel the least bit guilty. I am also the type of person that can let animals go. I've volunteered at shelters so long, I've had to grow a thick skin toward getting attached to them. I first started volunteering when I lived in the dorm at college, so a dog was out of the question. There were so many I would have loved to take home, but since it wasn't allowed, I had to learn to let go. It's hard even still, but I know I would be worse off if I took every dog I liked home. So, it does take a certain mentality to foster. I don't know if a program like that exists in your area. It's relatively new here, but much needed as our shelters are overflowing.

Volunteering as a dog-walker or similar is also a rewarding experience, but you have to be prepared to leave the dogs behind. When I volunteer, I walk dogs, bathe dogs, and work as an adoption counselor for anyone who has questions. (Dog-walking in shelters can be harder than it sounds, by the way.) I must be well-versed in shelter policies and follow the rules. I also take it upon myself to be honest with people, even if it means the dog doesn't get adopted. I'd much rather the dog stay in the shelter than have a life that makes it and it's people miserable (and possibly results in it being returned). I'm all about people finding the right dog. Hopefully they do. I wish all the dogs could find the home that fits them, but the sad truth is that there are just too many dogs and also too many uninformed people. I wish that more people were like you and go to the shelter to adopt with clear intentions, knowledge, and preparation.

I think that I would have been able to let my foster dog go if it was positive for his future and well-being. But, since he was so shy and untrusting and had clearly bonded well to me, I knew that putting him in another home that didn't understand him and wasn't familiar would cause him severe stress and anxiety. He would have adjusted in time, I'm sure, but I decided it was better not to put him through that pain of transition, so I adopted him. Most dogs can move on better than people can, generally. In this case, I don't think he could have handled being uprooted without severe setbacks and my keeping him was probably the best choice I could have made under the circumstances. I did not go into fostering expecting to adopt another dog, and I tried my best to avoid adopting him (hence why I fostered him for a year). Ultimately, the shelter gave me an ultimatum to either adopt him (and keep trying to find him a home if I wanted) or return him to their care where he would surely die. Horrible situation, and I resent that shelter for it, but I did what I had to do. The shelter system is far from perfect. Many out there are more understanding than this one, even in my area. Politics too often get in the way.

I'm glad that you dog-sit sometimes because it is a good way to see if having a dog is something you can handle. You may make yourself available to other friends and coworkers to gain exposure to other types of dogs.

Travel is something to consider when you own dogs. I have 3 in my house and it is difficult to find care for all of them when we need to go out of town. My family is happy watching all 3, but FI's family can't handle that many dogs, so they normally only keep one when needed. I also have a friend that lives in my apartment complex that will watch them for me sometimes. I watch her cats when needed also. Travel is not impossible with dogs, but it does seem to take a village to watch them without spending money on boarding. I do have an awesome boarding service that we use when no one else is available. She takes our dogs and watches them in her own home, keeping them as her own. It just costs us $30/dog/day, so it's not cheap for three dogs. And that's with a friend discount. We do try to take them with us when we can, but it's not always possible. And you will always have to consider the dogs when you are out and about. We don't stay out late often and never overnight without making arrangements for their care. Still, the joy they give us is worth the inconvenience. If you have a good support system of people who can care for your dog when you're away (and you do the same for them in return) it really isn't that difficult many times to leave for a weekend or stay out late. It just takes some planning.

Dog people-- help us decide when to get a dog!

Re: Dog people-- help us decide when to get a dog!

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