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Shower Thank you notes

RainClover157RainClover157 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hello, I need some advice for thank you notes. I just received a gift in the mail for my bridal shower. The event isn't for another month and I am not sure if this guest will be attending. She lives far away so even if she does attend it would be easier for her to ship it now than to travel with the gift. Do I send her a thank you note now or wait until after the shower? Thoughts?
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Re: Shower Thank you notes

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    JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Send the TY note now.  It's generally a good rule of thumb to just send the TY notes as soon as you receive the gifts, both for shower and wedding.  As a guest, I'd appreciate getting the note to ensure you really received the gift.
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    WeeshWeesh member
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    I received several of these before my shower.  I sent the notes immediately, and just thanked for the gift.  It's easier to get them done versus waiting, and you'll avoid the possibly awkward "did she get it" call or message.
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    kgd7357kgd7357 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Another vote for now. Although maybe give it a week to see if there is a second half. I had a few of these, and awkwardly had to write two thank you notes a week apart to the same person.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'd also send the note now, but hold off on opening the gift until after the shower.

    Same thing with wedding gifts-send the thank-you note immediately but don't open and use the gift until after the wedding.
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    littlestmonkeylittlestmonkey member
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    Shouldn't you open gifts to make sure there's no damage, in case they need to be exchanged? Obviously agree with not using them though.
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Definitely open and inspect for damage and write the TY note now.

    I had to exchange three place settings for issues when they were delivered.   In 2 cases, the saucer was broken and Macy's was able to send a replacement saucer.    In the third case, they shipped the wrong pattern and billed it as the correct one.   I still sent the TY notes as if everything was fine. 
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    ScoutFScoutF member
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    Jen4948 said:

    I'd also send the note now, but hold off on opening the gift until after the shower.


    Same thing with wedding gifts-send the thank-you note immediately but don't open and use the gift until after the wedding.
    How would you send a thank you note for a gift you haven't opened?

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    ScoutF said:
    I'd also send the note now, but hold off on opening the gift until after the shower.

    Same thing with wedding gifts-send the thank-you note immediately but don't open and use the gift until after the wedding.
    How would you send a thank you note for a gift you haven't opened?
    "Thank you for the random box that was just delivered by the cute FedEx guy.  The box says the gift is perishable and I should open it immediately, but I'll be waiting to do so as my shower isn't for another month.  Thank you so much for what I assume are rotten apples and chocolate covered almonds.  Can't wait to see you at the wedding!"
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    AprilH81AprilH81 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Also, don't say "Thank you for the shower gift."  It may actually be an early wedding gift and you don't want the giver to think you are hinting for another present.

    Write the thank you note as you normally would, just don't mention the word "shower" or "wedding".

    Dear John and Jane,
    Thank you so much for the lovely [gift].  Sam and I can't wait to use it while [doing activity].  It was so lovely for you both to think of us during this time.  We look forward to seeing you at the wedding.

    Thanks,
    Sam and Susie
    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
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    RainClover157RainClover157 member
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    Thank you everyone for the advice!
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    JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2014
    Jen4948 said: I'd also send the note now, but hold off on opening the gift until after the shower.
    Same thing with wedding gifts-send the thank-you note immediately but don't open and use the gift until after the wedding.

    ---------------------------------------------

     Maybe Jen means     use the gift.  That would make sense.  Obviously you should open it so you can send a personal TY note.
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    ScoutFScoutF member
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    edited June 2014
    JCbride2015 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    I'd also send the note now, but hold off on opening the gift until after the shower.

    Same thing with wedding gifts-send the thank-you note immediately but don't open and use the gift until after the wedding.


    ---------------------------------------------


    Maybe Jen means use the gift.  That would make sense.  Obviously you should open it so you can send a personal TY note.


    ***********************Damn quote boxes***********************
    That makes sense. I obviously didn't have enough coffee in my system.
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    Emmy1493Emmy1493 member
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    I sent them after each gift came in. I got several before shower, and wrote thank you right away so they know I got it. Can never be too safe in the world of lost/stolen packages.
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