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To Bridal Registry or Not To Bridal Registry

onlyjamielynnonlyjamielynn member
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in Snarky Brides
We're starting the planning for our wedding.  We already live together and pretty much have everything we want/need.  Not to mention that as soon as we get married will be buying a house and moving.  So I don't want to put stuff on a registry for a house that I don't even have.  Is it rude to not do a registry?  What is the ettiquete on this?
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Re: To Bridal Registry or Not To Bridal Registry

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    Marzipan13Marzipan13 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    It isn't rude to not have a registry.  It is incredibly rude to have a honeymoon registry or any other kind of "asking guests for money", however - not that you were considering doing so, I'm just saying.  
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    NorthrendNorthrend member
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    Just post your Paypal account info on Facebook.

    No seriously, it's fine to not have a registry.  Just don't register for a honeymoon or that kind of crap. Also a shower is kind of a no-go if you don't have a registry.
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    beetherybeethery member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    You do not have to create a registry. My FI and I do not plan to have one, as we have lived together for over a year, and do not need anything.

    Should you decide against creating a registry, you should also decline offers for bridal showers. Do not put anything about gifts on your invitations, and if anyone asks you, your FI, or I guess your parents about gifts, you can let it spread via word of mouth that "OnlyJamieLynn and her FI aren't doing a registry, but they're saving up for their move."

    You might still get some boxed gifts. Any gifts you receive, cash or otherwise, should still get a lovely personalized thank you card from you and your FI as a couple.
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    onlyjamielynnonlyjamielynn member
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    I wouldn't consider the honeymoon registry or any type of other money registry. It's just that we're not exactly "china" people. I don't have nor do I want somewhere to display this. I'm a kitchen chef in my own mind so my kitchen is already pretty stacked. :) And we bought all our furniture and everything else before we moved in together. As far as the shower, I am opting out of that. I rather have a girls night or weekend instead of a traditional shower. Thanks for the info though!
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    Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
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    FI and I have been living together for over a decade, so we opted not to register for anything either. We're saving for a house and most of the things we'd consider registering for (appliances and the like) wouldn't even fit in our apartment right now. When people have asked where we are registered, we've politely told them that we are not in want or need of anything, but are looking forward to celebrating our wedding with our friends and family.
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    kerbohlkerbohl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    We hadn't moved in before my wedding, but I was still considering not doing a registry, because a lot of the stores that have registries are really expensive, and most of the stuff we needed was not really available there.  I am also not a china person.  I put on my website a list of things we needed as suggestions for gifts and mentioned that we would also love anything second-hand or handmade.  A lot of our guests got really creative and it was awesome!  Someone went to a garage sale and ended up getting us a 1920s German punch bowl depicting castles that my husband and I actually went to see.  Registries are really restrictive. 

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    onlyjamielynnonlyjamielynn member
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    When my sister registered and I looked at her registry I thought she was crazy!  $200-$300 knife sets.  Dyson vacuum.  Who is buying that stuff?  lol 
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    chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    onlyjamielynn said:

    When my sister registered and I looked at her registry I thought she was crazy!  $200-$300 knife sets.  Dyson vacuum.  Who is buying that stuff?  lol 

    People who like to spend around that amount on wedding gifts?
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    theycallmelinztheycallmelinz member
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    edited June 2014
    I'm doing a registry, because who doesn't like free stuff? However, my mother handles a very wealthy elderly couple's business accounts, and the lady said I absolutely MUST register for my crystal from "whatever department store" because that's what she will be purchasing. Jokes on her, I don't want or need crystal anything. I'm much more interested in plates that actually match and something I can cook on/with. Moral of the story, you'd be shocked what people will spend on wedding gifts.  

    Edited because my computer went crazy during the first attempt at posting. 
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    onlyjamielynnonlyjamielynn member
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    Needless to say she did not get any of those gifts off of her registry.
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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
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    edited June 2014
    onlyjamielynn said:

    Needless to say she did not get any of those gifts off of her registry.

    It's really not outlandish for those things to be bought. Often people will chip in together to buy things, or people will just surprise you. My dad shocked me by buying a $600 knife set instead of the individual $30-40 knives I registered for. Doesn't hurt to ask because people SHOULDN'T be judging your choices.

    ETA plus most places offer a completion discount, so you can go back and purchase those things on your own for a deal. Often people will see expensive things and know they can't afford it, but give a gift card toward it.
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    MandyMostMandyMost member
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    You know that some people (often older relatives) will buy you a boxed gift. You could always have a small registry to help these people along if you'd like. We're not china people either, so we registered for some "casual dinnerware" that is microwave and dishwasher safe, but it will be really nice to have big matching set of it. We also found a number of other things that would be nice to have, and I'm sure the older relatives would love to buy us--like a nice wine decanter, for instance. Essentially, just figure out what's easiest for you. If you're expecting a lot of flak from relatives, just create a small Registry if that makes sense for you.
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    mrsmagicgeekmrsmagicgeek member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Comment Name Dropper
    My FI and I are having a very small DW (only my 13 year old daughter will be with us). We are still registering in a couple of places but keeping the lists private. We're doing it for the completion discounts. That's probably against etiquette, but if we don't share them and they're not searchable, we think we're ok.
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    lnl1015lnl1015 member
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    We live together, but know some people are going to insist on boxed gifts, so in an effort to not get a bunch of things we don't need or want we created a very small registry with basics: neutral towels, neutral sheets, replacements for a few kitchen items that are getting old. 
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    Alyssa18o6Alyssa18o6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    My FI and I live together as well. Both of us had our own apartments as well before we moved together so we have a ton of stuff. We weren't going to register but the more I thought about it, and wandering in Target I decided we're going too. We have pots & pans, and a cheaper dinner set. But alot of the stuff we have is just cheaper stuff we bought to get us by when we lived on our own. So our plan is to register for nicer "upgrades" to our cheap stuff haha. I found a TON of cute little things at Target in the kitchen gadgets we'd love to have, but probably wouldn't buy ourselves.
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    goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 member
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    I am in the same boat as the other PPs.  FI and I have lived together for 5-6 years and have all sorts of stuff. We weren't going to register, but people started asking and decided to make a small one, namely for things we have been meaning to get or would ultimately like.  Things like new mixing bowls, more towels, new bedding, that sort of thing. Stuff you need anyway to run a household.  Totally your choice.  .
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    onlyjamielynnonlyjamielynn member
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    I think you may be right...Maybe a smaller one with things we'd like to have but would never buy might be an option.
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