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Am I the only one?????

jaz3088jaz3088 member
5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary First Answer
in Snarky Brides
I just feel like no one is excited about my wedding. I know no one will ever be AS excited as we are are but no one is even the least bit happy or looking forward to it, or so it seems. Maybe social media ruined the way I look at things but I've seen past brides get comments like "1 months away, super excited" or their bridal party posting things to them in pure excitement. I've seen brides post pictures of their family celebrating or getting champanage from their parents to celebrate 1 year until they are even married..... My bridal party and parents haven't done ANYTHING like this for me... I feel like i'm the one reminding people its only a certain time frame away and no one even really acknowledges it. Its kind of depressing.... anyone else feel like their parents and bridal party could really care less?????
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Re: Am I the only one?????

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    MollyandDMollyandD member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    My best friend was really excited, but she loves weddings. Other people just asked how things were going now and then.

    Why do you mean when you say they aren't doing anything? What are you expecting from them? It's ok that you're bummed that they aren't super excited. I understand being sad. I just am it sure what you are wanting them to do other than show more interest. 
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    jaz3088jaz3088 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary First Answer
    @molly&domenic Nothing specific actually, just thought atleast my sisters and mom would be a little more into it. When we got engaged no one offered to even have a get together to celebrate our engagement, on either sides of our families. and from there its just been very minimal from both sides....

    Just needed to vent I guess. It is very depressing not getting any excitement out of anyone though. 
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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think you need to step away from Facebook. 

    This whole 1 year out celebration thing IMO is stupid. I don't know anyone IRL that has actually done that. 

    Posting about your wedding on FB is tacky, unless you plan on inviting all 300+ of your friends. I have a "friend" on there too that posts all about it, tagging her bridal party. And I cringe every time. 

    No one offered to throw us an engagement party. The only wedding-related party I'm having is a bach party my MOH is throwing me. And not all of my best friends can attend. It's OK. I know they still love me and care about me. 

    I really think you're being oversensitive about this. Your friends and your family care. Just because they're not constantly calling you up, shitting their pants about your wedding doesn't mean they're not excited for it. 
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    MollyandDMollyandD member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I've only been to one engagement party ever, and it certainly wasn't my own. Those are not very common, and it's no big deal to skip.

    Even though people aren't gushing about excitement, they are still probably happy for you. You can come on here to talk about wedding stuff. You can ask your bridal party to go try on their dresses soon, and invite them to go with you to try on yours. Just understand that they may not all want or be able to go. 

    Remember to still show an interest in your friends' lives outside of the wedding. I have a hard time getting excited for people who I don't believe actually care about me. 
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    jaz3088jaz3088 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary First Answer
    edited July 2014
    My MOH(my older sister) keeps asking me what I'm planning on doing for my bach party....I thought she was supposed to at least help with it. I'm trying not to be oversensitive about it and I don't expect everyone to shit their pants over it. Just expected at least the girls to be more involved I guess. I know our wedding isn't the only thing going on in everyones life, i get that part and I'm not a "center of attention" kind of person either.
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    littlemushroomlittlemushroom member
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    I can definitely understand being disappointed that your family and closest friends don't seem to care.  But do they really not care or have they just not gone above and beyond to show you how excited they are?  There is a big difference between not being excited about planning the wedding and not being excited for you that you are getting married.  They don't have to plan parties for you to be happy and excited for you.

    My BFF's mom truly acted like she didn't care there was going to be a wedding at all.  For example, she got dragged dress shopping for my BFF's gown and spent the entire time oohing and ahing over every other bride in the shop trying on dresses to the point that I had to drag her back over to see her daughter in a dress.  My BFF bought a dress her first time out shopping and lived in a different state from her mom, so there is no way she was burnt out on wedding talk.  It was hard to see her mom excited for complete strangers dress shopping but indifferent to her own daughter standing 5 feet away in a wedding dress.  
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    RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    I think you need to step away from Facebook. 

    This whole 1 year out celebration thing IMO is stupid. I don't know anyone IRL that has actually done that. 

    Posting about your wedding on FB is tacky, unless you plan on inviting all 300+ of your friends. I have a "friend" on there too that posts all about it, tagging her bridal party. And I cringe every time. 

    No one offered to throw us an engagement party. The only wedding-related party I'm having is a bach party my MOH is throwing me. And not all of my best friends can attend. It's OK. I know they still love me and care about me. 

    I really think you're being oversensitive about this. Your friends and your family care. Just because they're not constantly calling you up, shitting their pants about your wedding doesn't mean they're not excited for it. 
    Seriously, this. People have their own lives. Please re-read your post and realize you sounds pretty bratty and entitled. 

    ETA: And let's be real... weddings can be stressful for all people involved. Buying new clothes, spending several days doing rehearsals/ceremony/reception/brunch, pre-wedding parties, hair/makeup. Even if you were the most laid back bride, weddings aren't always so much fun. 
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    Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Our parents, siblings, and the WP couldn't have given two shits during most of our engagement, and we were totally okay with that. We got no parties, no "countdowns". And that's exactly what we wanted. Just because we decided to get married didn't mean we wanted anyone to do anything differently with their lives than had we not decided to get married. At the end of the day, the only people whose excitement matters are you and your FI. And even though people might not be excited now, things will be different on your wedding day.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Meh....I get feeling disappointed, but I don't recall anybody really making a fuss over my wedding, either, and I didn't really expect them to b/c I know it's just not necessarily that exciting for anyone other than the bride and groom. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    FiancBFiancB member
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    Your feelings are valid, but I think you need to take a step back and remember that a) no one cares as much about your wedding as you and b) a lot of this stuff is manufactured by social media and the wedding industry itself. 

    Sites like TK want to make it look like if you don't get an engagement party and an insane bachelorette party and millions of gifts, that means you have no friends and you're abnormal and your life, not to mention wedding, is ruined. In reality, not that many people even have engagement parties (I've only ever been to one, and it wasn't mine), not everyone is crazy about weddings, and people have lives. 

    Plus it's super tacky to post about it on facebook all the time. There is a girl I know that I am relieved is getting married today so I can stop hearing about her wedding. I know way more about it than I should considering I wasn't invited, from all the drama involved right down to where she got her groomsman's camo (!) vests. 
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    kerbohlkerbohl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    My SO took me on a date to celebrate the date of a year before our wedding (He called it our -1 anniversary).  How is your FI feeling about it?  Is he excited?  That's really the only person you need to be excited about the wedding, though it would be nice if your family was as well.  They might show their excitement at other points, like when you try on dresses, or show them the venue. 

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    April192002April192002 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary

    I'm kind of sad that no one even really asks me about the wedding but I've come to accept that they really don't give a shit. I basically had to force my mom to look at my engagement ring and other than asking her about having my wedding Thanksgiving weekend, we haven't talked wedding (if also doesn't help that she sees me as a failure and doesn't expect anything in my life to last). I talk to my FMIL about once every 3-4 weekends for an hour or two and when she asks "How's it going?" I take the opportunity to give her a quick rundown of what's happening wedding wise and will throw something about work in there if anything major happened, but the majority of the conversation is about her - her job, shopping adventures, dealing with her other sons, etc.. My sisters will ask and almost immediately change the topic, I think it's their way of getting me into a lengthy conversation about what's going on with them.

    I've basically given up on anyone caring or humoring me. They pretend to but don't, so unless I have a specific question about a detail or how to handle a situation I don't really talk to anyone about it. FI's not into it either, and I think I already talked his ear off a few months ago, so it's just me and TK.

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    afaber24afaber24 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    It sucks that people aren't more excited for your event, but if its still a few months away people may not even be thinking about it yet. My family was talking about throwing a shower for me for months, but didn't plan one single part of it until about 4 weeks before it happened. The wedding industry makes us plan stuff months in advance, but most other people don't plan anything until its absolutely necessary. I'm sure they'll come around.
    In the mean time, plan a fun lunch or dress shopping outing with your bridesmaids or aunts or friends. Bring snacks, champagne, donuts and make it a fun event. If you plan something fun and simple for everyone it might get them more excited for the events to come!
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