Got an invitation today...SECOND UPDATE

lyndausvi · July 2014

Sounds like an interesting timeline. Did you every find out why they waited 1.5 hours to say their silent vows?

I've been to a weddings that had a cocktail hour first. Well the first one was really the couple knowing people always show up early so they provided a cocktail for those waiting. The other was a Jewish couple who had to wait till sundown. Sunset was late so they had a cocktail hour first.

Artemischief · July 2014

@lyndausvi‌ They "wanted to be non traditional." I don't think I would have minded so much if there had been seating during that time, the bar had not closed, and there had been more than a picked over cheese plate.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

No. Wanting to be non-traditional is a stupid reason to be non-traditional. I plan on being non-traditional because I don't want to carry a bouquet or have a dance floor, but I'm not doing those things merely because of a decision to 'be non-traditional.' That sounds silly.

lyndausvi · July 2014

Artemischief said:

@lyndausvi‌ They "wanted to be non traditional." I don't think I would have minded so much if there had been seating during that time, the bar had not closed, and there had been more than a picked over cheese plate.

wait you wanted to sit, drink and eat more then a piece of cheese during a 1.5 hour cocktail party?

Wow, you are high maintenance

chibiyui · July 2014

That wedding sounds special.

wrigleyville · July 2014

What a train wreck. Thanks for the update.

I don't understand the whole, "Waaaah. Honeymoons are so expensive!!! Please give us money."

Girl, it's a trip, not a kidney.

climbingsingle · July 2014

How strange and awkward.

thisismynickname2 · July 2014

Thanks for the update! Wow...... that sounds very.... different.

I like getting updates on Weddings Gone Wild and vote that anyone who posts a "so I got this invitation...." discussion should update after the event, as a rule! ;-)

Edit: words are hard

aurianna · July 2014

"We aren't going on a honeymoon" so they really did just want to pocket the money. I can't begin to understand the mindset of people who are willing to lie to their guests for money. That's kind of disgusting.

jules3964 · July 2014

Ugh. Not only did they have a honeyfund, but they had a deceitful honeyfund. If you're going to be horribly rude and ask people to "make donations" towards your fancy trip, the LEAST you can do is actually go on the trip.

My friend did almost the same thing, except after receiving all the money for specific things they wanted to do in Europe, they went on a cheaper, local honeymoon instead. Soooo tacky.

jnissa · July 2014

I've been to a lot of Jewish weddings with cocktail hours first (I think maybe because the ceremony needs to start when the sun goes down which makes it late?). The key is that you know it's happening in that order and you're not wandering around like "What is going on?" Oh, and there's enough food, booze and seating! When you know that's the setup (like the event listing was provided on the invite or the website), it's actually really nice. Being baffled by what you're doing while a groom announces that you should eat? Not so much.

I think it's okay to want to be non-traditional and to use that as an approach when planning your wedding. Where it gets "eh" for me is when you feel the need to broadcast how non-traditional you are *and* when it's clearly so non-traditional that everybody seems to be uncomfortable. Sitting down to plan your wedding and saying "I want this to feel different" is cool. Saying "LOOK HOW DIFFERENT OUR WEDDING IS" is not. This was definitely the latter.

wrigleyville · July 2014

I don't understand the point of asking for money. Most people give money at weddings. We didn't register anywhere, and all but two guests gave us checks or cash. (The other two guests gave us a lovely, handmade quilt that I will love and cherish forever.) Still, even if every single guest had given us a physical gift, I would have been extremely grateful and happy. It's a wedding, not a fundraiser.

In fact, I'm so annoyed by this trend that if someone lists a Honeyfund or outright asks for money via some cutesy poem or otherwise, I switch from writing a check to giving them a physical gift.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · July 2014

I have no words, just this gif:

lyndausvi · July 2014

Ladies and gents it's possible they are not have a HM because everyone thought the HM registry was tacky and didn't give anything towards it. As a result no HM for the couple.

aurianna · July 2014

lyndausvi said:

Ladies and gents it's possible they are not have a HM because everyone thought the HM registry was tacky and didn't give anything towards it. As a result no HM for the couple.

Yeah... but I feel like that's having too much faith in humanity.

Even if that's the case (oooh. here's hoping!) there were probably at least a few people who did give and now they're lied to.

ETA:
Actually, that's yet ANOTHER reason that HM registries are bad juju. Even if the most well-intentioned couple had every intention of doing every single specific thing their guests choose for them... if they don't get enough HM gifts, they probably can't afford to go on that honeymoon, if any, and now all they have to show for it is an embarrassing conversation with anyone who asks / weird thank you note wording / less cash in their pocket than they would have had if they'd just not registered at a HM fund that takes a cut.

Artemischief · July 2014

I wish I could say that was the case. Before their wedding when we were looking for a gift, I checked all their registries. Three weeks before the wedding and we were the first to buy an actual item from a store registry. Nearly everything on the honeyfund had been fulfilled.

As a side note, the best part of the evening was when they did the "first dance" (after they had already been dancing) and DH nudged me and said "Ours was so much better!" Their dance was a 4+ minute song where neither of them ever lifted their feet off the ground. I may have just been grouchy because almost everyone was smoking at that point. Bridesmaids smoking cigars=classy.

MGP · July 2014

Can you please elaborate on the "one food item at a time" dinner?

Sounds like a great example where non traditional = a really, really bad idea.

Artemischief · July 2014

@MGP‌ one food item at a time:

Salad(but that one makes sense)

A pasta salad

Chicken something

Bread

Rice

Vegetables

Beef

Seafood

No one knew what was being served or what anything was(seasoning wise, it was kind of a global food fest) Everyone assumed chicken was the main course, so we ate that. As soon as we finished (or were about to finish) something new got brought out. We were already full. It was a bit of a mess.

I agree, non traditional is fine, but at least let your guests know what is going on! (If not only so you don't waste money on all the uneaten food in this case).

Got an invitation today...SECOND UPDATE

Re: Got an invitation today...SECOND UPDATE

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