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Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

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Re: Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
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    LDay2014 said:


    STBMrsEverhart said:

    crabbylucy said:


    STBMrsEverhart said:

    grumbledore said:

    This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends...

    What exactly did you think was going to happen when you created this ridiculous, unnecessary sticky?


    Except it is completely necessary.
    Then I guess we have two vastly different ideas about what is and is not necessary.


    You know what's not necessary?  Lying.
    As you yourself said - they wouldn't care if they DID know you were already married, yet you insist on lying to them.  



    I would tend to agree with you. Lying does seem unnecessary. But if I don't consider what we're doing to be lying the point is moot, no?
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  • Dcarr0809Dcarr0809 member
    First Comment
    Wow! I don't even know where to begin. I don't know who you are and I hope I never run in to you or anyone of your commenting cheerleaders in my life.

    What does it matter to you if someone has a "PPD" (which is a pathetic name by the way, I don't care who made it up) or a do-over wedding. If you were SO UPSET AND BOTHERED by the atrocious event WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO??? The same goes for the alleged group of people who were upset at this wedding with you. An invitation to a wedding is not a jury summons! You are under no obligation to attend and it will upset no one. Before you start saying it is rude to not attend a wedding you're invited to or that you would have then been oblighted to send a gift anyway, your right. Writing this mean, hateful, downright jealous, and anonymous post is much more polite and shows your now married friends what a true friend you really are.

    Are you upset with what I'm writing to you yet? I couldn't give two shits!!! Oh, do you think I'm rude and inappropriate, please do!!! I'd like anyone reading to know that on top of your obviously fuming jealousy towards happy brides-to-be and married women wanting a "do-over", you scavenge these innocent forums looking for the above described brides and post a link to your trash filled words you call a post. I hope this brings you years of lonely happiness because I only imagine someone who is alone or stuck in a horrible marriage, who's spouse would rather eat roaches than think about giving you a "pretty princess day" or even a "do-over". Why would you bother going onto a multicultural and diverse wedding website to state, what you close-minded believe, is the "one true way to get married".

    Come out from your ridiculous movie screen name hiding spot and address your one view mindset like an adult. Stop attacking other women, stop attack out of the box thinking brides, and stop attacking military wives who had no choice to give up their pretty princess day because their husbands were called to battle with a 4 day heads up; where your only choice is to marry at the JP because God forbid he gets killed and then who does his remains go to? Oh yea, his wife. Before you go thinking you hurt my feelings, please don't give yourself the pleasure and satisfaction. I'm writing for my sister, the proud wife of a Navy service member. I'm writing for my sister who is much too classy to even give you the time of day. Lucky for her, I'm trashy and don't mind tell you to fuck off. I can't wait for her do-over wedding! Now that I think of it, I think her shower and Bachelorette party should have a pretty princess feel to them. I can't wait to post pictures on this post so you can see what real friends and family look like.


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  • syoun1njsyoun1nj member
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    Dcarr0809 said:
    Wow! I don't even know where to begin. I don't know who you are and I hope I never run in to you or anyone of your commenting cheerleaders in my life. What does it matter to you if someone has a "PPD" (which is a pathetic name by the way, I don't care who made it up) or a do-over wedding. If you were SO UPSET AND BOTHERED by the atrocious event WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO??? The same goes for the alleged group of people who were upset at this wedding with you. An invitation to a wedding is not a jury summons! You are under no obligation to attend and it will upset no one. Before you start saying it is rude to not attend a wedding you're invited to or that you would have then been oblighted to send a gift anyway, your right. Writing this mean, hateful, downright jealous, and anonymous post is much more polite and shows your now married friends what a true friend you really are. Are you upset with what I'm writing to you yet? I couldn't give two shits!!! Oh, do you think I'm rude and inappropriate, please do!!! I'd like anyone reading to know that on top of your obviously fuming jealousy towards happy brides-to-be and married women wanting a "do-over", you scavenge these innocent forums looking for the above described brides and post a link to your trash filled words you call a post. I hope this brings you years of lonely happiness because I only imagine someone who is alone or stuck in a horrible marriage, who's spouse would rather eat roaches than think about giving you a "pretty princess day" or even a "do-over". Why would you bother going onto a multicultural and diverse wedding website to state, what you close-minded believe, is the "one true way to get married". Come out from your ridiculous movie screen name hiding spot and address your one view mindset like an adult. Stop attacking other women, stop attack out of the box thinking brides, and stop attacking military wives who had no choice to give up their pretty princess day because their husbands were called to battle with a 4 day heads up; where your only choice is to marry at the JP because God forbid he gets killed and then who does his remains go to? Oh yea, his wife. Before you go thinking you hurt my feelings, please don't give yourself the pleasure and satisfaction. I'm writing for my sister, the proud wife of a Navy service member. I'm writing for my sister who is much too classy to even give you the time of day. Lucky for her, I'm trashy and don't mind tell you to fuck off. I can't wait for her do-over wedding! Now that I think of it, I think her shower and Bachelorette party should have a pretty princess feel to them. I can't wait to post pictures on this post so you can see what real friends and family look like.
    You sure showed us. 


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  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @Dcarr0809‌ I think the lady doth protest too much.
    image



    Anniversary
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    Dcarr0809 said:
    Wow! I don't even know where to begin. I don't know who you are and I hope I never run in to you or anyone of your commenting cheerleaders in my life. What does it matter to you if someone has a "PPD" (which is a pathetic name by the way, I don't care who made it up) or a do-over wedding. If you were SO UPSET AND BOTHERED by the atrocious event WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO??? The same goes for the alleged group of people who were upset at this wedding with you. An invitation to a wedding is not a jury summons! You are under no obligation to attend and it will upset no one. Before you start saying it is rude to not attend a wedding you're invited to or that you would have then been oblighted to send a gift anyway, your right. Writing this mean, hateful, downright jealous, and anonymous post is much more polite and shows your now married friends what a true friend you really are. Are you upset with what I'm writing to you yet? I couldn't give two shits!!! Oh, do you think I'm rude and inappropriate, please do!!! I'd like anyone reading to know that on top of your obviously fuming jealousy towards happy brides-to-be and married women wanting a "do-over", you scavenge these innocent forums looking for the above described brides and post a link to your trash filled words you call a post. I hope this brings you years of lonely happiness because I only imagine someone who is alone or stuck in a horrible marriage, who's spouse would rather eat roaches than think about giving you a "pretty princess day" or even a "do-over". Why would you bother going onto a multicultural and diverse wedding website to state, what you close-minded believe, is the "one true way to get married". Come out from your ridiculous movie screen name hiding spot and address your one view mindset like an adult. Stop attacking other women, stop attack out of the box thinking brides, and stop attacking military wives who had no choice to give up their pretty princess day because their husbands were called to battle with a 4 day heads up; where your only choice is to marry at the JP because God forbid he gets killed and then who does his remains go to? Oh yea, his wife. Before you go thinking you hurt my feelings, please don't give yourself the pleasure and satisfaction. I'm writing for my sister, the proud wife of a Navy service member. I'm writing for my sister who is much too classy to even give you the time of day. Lucky for her, I'm trashy and don't mind tell you to fuck off. I can't wait for her do-over wedding! Now that I think of it, I think her shower and Bachelorette party should have a pretty princess feel to them. I can't wait to post pictures on this post so you can see what real friends and family look like.
    Well if the couple doesn't tell people they already had a civil ceremony how are they to know to be able to know and decide not to attend?  That is most what most of this thread is about. Most of us are okay with PPD's, they are not okay with the couple keeping the civil ceremony from their guests.

    I went to a PPD in Europe.   Everyone knew they  already had a civil ceremony.  Some people choose not to attend.  Others like myself choose to attend.   Everyone was on the same playing field.  We had full disclosure.

    I really do not care if they want a re-do. I like parties.  I do care about full disclosure of knowing if there was a civil ceremony before this other ceremony.     More than likely I will come to their wedding as I've proven in the past. 

       If I flew out of town for a wedding only to find out later they were already married, then yes I would be pissed. I find it deceitful.     I'm understanding of people who feel like they have to go that route, I do not understand keeping it from family and friends so the guests can believe this is the first time the couple is getting married.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Dcarr0809 said:
    Wow! I don't even know where to begin. I don't know who you are and I hope I never run in to you or anyone of your commenting cheerleaders in my life. What does it matter to you if someone has a "PPD" (which is a pathetic name by the way, I don't care who made it up) or a do-over wedding. If you were SO UPSET AND BOTHERED by the atrocious event WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO??? The same goes for the alleged group of people who were upset at this wedding with you. An invitation to a wedding is not a jury summons! You are under no obligation to attend and it will upset no one. Before you start saying it is rude to not attend a wedding you're invited to or that you would have then been oblighted to send a gift anyway, your right. Writing this mean, hateful, downright jealous, and anonymous post is much more polite and shows your now married friends what a true friend you really are. Are you upset with what I'm writing to you yet? I couldn't give two shits!!! Oh, do you think I'm rude and inappropriate, please do!!! I'd like anyone reading to know that on top of your obviously fuming jealousy towards happy brides-to-be and married women wanting a "do-over", you scavenge these innocent forums looking for the above described brides and post a link to your trash filled words you call a post. I hope this brings you years of lonely happiness because I only imagine someone who is alone or stuck in a horrible marriage, who's spouse would rather eat roaches than think about giving you a "pretty princess day" or even a "do-over". Why would you bother going onto a multicultural and diverse wedding website to state, what you close-minded believe, is the "one true way to get married". Come out from your ridiculous movie screen name hiding spot and address your one view mindset like an adult. Stop attacking other women, stop attack out of the box thinking brides, and stop attacking military wives who had no choice to give up their pretty princess day because their husbands were called to battle with a 4 day heads up; where your only choice is to marry at the JP because God forbid he gets killed and then who does his remains go to? Oh yea, his wife. Before you go thinking you hurt my feelings, please don't give yourself the pleasure and satisfaction. I'm writing for my sister, the proud wife of a Navy service member. I'm writing for my sister who is much too classy to even give you the time of day. Lucky for her, I'm trashy and don't mind tell you to fuck off. I can't wait for her do-over wedding! Now that I think of it, I think her shower and Bachelorette party should have a pretty princess feel to them. I can't wait to post pictures on this post so you can see what real friends and family look like.
    image
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Dcarr0809 said:
    Wow! I don't even know where to begin. I don't know who you are and I hope I never run in to you or anyone of your commenting cheerleaders in my life. What does it matter to you if someone has a "PPD" (which is a pathetic name by the way, I don't care who made it up) or a do-over wedding. If you were SO UPSET AND BOTHERED by the atrocious event WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO??? The same goes for the alleged group of people who were upset at this wedding with you. An invitation to a wedding is not a jury summons! You are under no obligation to attend and it will upset no one. Before you start saying it is rude to not attend a wedding you're invited to or that you would have then been oblighted to send a gift anyway, your right. Writing this mean, hateful, downright jealous, and anonymous post is much more polite and shows your now married friends what a true friend you really are. Are you upset with what I'm writing to you yet? I couldn't give two shits!!! Oh, do you think I'm rude and inappropriate, please do!!! I'd like anyone reading to know that on top of your obviously fuming jealousy towards happy brides-to-be and married women wanting a "do-over", you scavenge these innocent forums looking for the above described brides and post a link to your trash filled words you call a post. I hope this brings you years of lonely happiness because I only imagine someone who is alone or stuck in a horrible marriage, who's spouse would rather eat roaches than think about giving you a "pretty princess day" or even a "do-over". Why would you bother going onto a multicultural and diverse wedding website to state, what you close-minded believe, is the "one true way to get married". Come out from your ridiculous movie screen name hiding spot and address your one view mindset like an adult. Stop attacking other women, stop attack out of the box thinking brides, and stop attacking military wives who had no choice to give up their pretty princess day because their husbands were called to battle with a 4 day heads up; where your only choice is to marry at the JP because God forbid he gets killed and then who does his remains go to? Oh yea, his wife. Before you go thinking you hurt my feelings, please don't give yourself the pleasure and satisfaction. I'm writing for my sister, the proud wife of a Navy service member. I'm writing for my sister who is much too classy to even give you the time of day. Lucky for her, I'm trashy and don't mind tell you to fuck off. I can't wait for her do-over wedding! Now that I think of it, I think her shower and Bachelorette party should have a pretty princess feel to them. I can't wait to post pictures on this post so you can see what real friends and family look like.
    image
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  • perdonamiperdonami member
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    Dcarr0809 said:
     I'm writing for my sister who is much too classy to even give you the time of day. Lucky for her, I'm trashy and don't mind tell you to fuck off.
    I am sure your sister is very fortunate that, as you say, are trashy enough to "defend" her PPD. Remember, you said those insults about yoursefl and no one else. 
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  • KaurisKauris member
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    AddieCake said:
    Oh, good. The "you're jealous" card. You know how you know I'm not jealous of anyone else's wedding? See waterfall below. 

    Also, I hate when anyone says to come out from behind our screen names. I don't see you coming out from behind yours to make your post. Did you want to meet for margaritas and discuss? Because I'm down.
    I will meet you for margaritas any time.
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  • syoun1njsyoun1nj member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    ohannabelle said:
    Does anybody else wonder this?
    When people are really mad, and they say, "I couldn't give two shits," why two? Why not just a don't give a shit, which is less. Which would indicate that they care very little, and I get that.
     But then they add the second poop, which indicates more than a little. 

    So they added more poop. I think the second one indicates that they care more than just one.This makes sense to me, because when people say this (like the PP) they are usually angry. If they aren't angry, they just shrug, and say meh, I don't give a shit, and move on. By the time it's "I don't give two," yep, they care.

    I think this is why I've never heard anyone say they couldn't give three.  Nobody ever says that. Because the third poop would indicate you care. Clearly. Or you'd have stopped at one, and not made the effort to add more. 
    Honestly I love pooping so if I give 2 or 3 shits about something it's totally a compliment. 
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    nadene&darren said:
    6/26/15 will be OUR wedding day. Viczaesar, you missed the point. I used the words "renewing our vows" for all of the negative a**holes who resent others for having a second ceremony. FYI, grammar is the way words are used in conjunction with each other and punctuation properly. Grammar has nothing to do with the definitions of words. For future reference, it's proper grammar to write out "does not equal" instead of using "=/=".

    ohannabelle, thank you for proving my point. Apparently you didn't look past the first definition of marriage in your dictionary. Check out Merriam-Webster which states the following: "a wedding anniversary or its celebration".  You're not invited, I don't even know you.... why do you even care what I do? 

    So fortunate to have loving family and friends who can't wait to celebrate with us! People that understand there isn't just ONE definition for the word wedding. People that realize a wedding is something personal which can be celebrated in many different ways. People that have an open mind and realize that marriages/weddings are changing with the times? I bet you are against gay marriages too right? Since traditionally, a marriage is between a man and a woman?
    image is a mathematical symbol.  I'll give your opinion of how I should or should not incorporate mathematical and other symbols into my writing exactly as much consideration as it deserves, sweetheart.  And are you really dense enough not to realize that the image in my signature is my signature and not a personal message to you?  I guess you must be, since otherwise your discussion of the meaning of grammar makes no sense at all.



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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
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    ohannabelle said:
    Does anybody else wonder this?
    When people are really mad, and they say, "I couldn't give two shits," why two? Why not just a don't give a shit, which is less. Which would indicate that they care very little, and I get that.
     But then they add the second poop, which indicates more than a little. 

    So they added more poop. I think the second one indicates that they care more than just one.This makes sense to me, because when people say this (like the PP) they are usually angry. If they aren't angry, they just shrug, and say meh, I don't give a shit, and move on. By the time it's "I don't give two," yep, they care.

    I think this is why I've never heard anyone say they couldn't give three.  Nobody ever says that. Because the third poop would indicate you care. Clearly. Or you'd have stopped at one, and not made the effort to add more. 

    This is priceless. Thank you.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    ohannabelle said:
    Does anybody else wonder this?
    When people are really mad, and they say, "I couldn't give two shits," why two? Why not just a don't give a shit, which is less. Which would indicate that they care very little, and I get that.
     But then they add the second poop, which indicates more than a little. 

    So they added more poop. I think the second one indicates that they care more than just one.This makes sense to me, because when people say this (like the PP) they are usually angry. If they aren't angry, they just shrug, and say meh, I don't give a shit, and move on. By the time it's "I don't give two," yep, they care.

    I think this is why I've never heard anyone say they couldn't give three.  Nobody ever says that. Because the third poop would indicate you care. Clearly. Or you'd have stopped at one, and not made the effort to add more. 
    image






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • MegEn1MegEn1 member
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    goldchocobo said:
    Dcarr0809 said:
    Wow! I don't even know where to begin. I don't know who you are and I hope I never run in to you or anyone of your commenting cheerleaders in my life. What does it matter to you if someone has a "PPD" (which is a pathetic name by the way, I don't care who made it up) 
    What else do we call it?  Pants on Fire Day?
    Special Snowflake Day (SSD)? Lying to Loved Ones Day (LLD)?

    Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding! 
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
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    MegEn1 said:

    goldchocobo said:
    Dcarr0809 said:
    Wow! I don't even know where to begin. I don't know who you are and I hope I never run in to you or anyone of your commenting cheerleaders in my life. What does it matter to you if someone has a "PPD" (which is a pathetic name by the way, I don't care who made it up) 
    What else do we call it?  Pants on Fire Day?
    Special Snowflake Day (SSD)? Lying to Loved Ones Day (LLD)?
    Pretty Pathetic Day
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
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    Knottie63395614 said:

    @ohanabelle like I said, nobody is pointing a gun asking you to go to a PPD or DO OVER. 

    Also it would also be very helpful for people here to understand that two weddings are required by law in Europe and Latin America so, some women, including myself,  will not see a problem.
    The Church is different in the US so if you have different views or were raised in a different culture, we have to learn how it works out.
    Other than that, if the invitation says that a couple is inviting you to their convalidation, vow renewal, marriage celebration, and they want to do it with jeans or a white dress is none of yalls business. If the couple is clear, their celebration should not matter to any of you. Seriously, don't attend and instead of crying about it at a forum, send a hate note to the couple. That would be more mature than talking on their backs, because I am sure as hell you can't say it to their faces. 

    Just a thought!
    If you read it, you'd know this thread addresses the legal requirement differences outside of the US. So, anyone who reads it knows that two ceremonies are necessary in other countries. This board is mostly focused on US wedding planning, but the majority of international posters know the US regulars on here are aware of the requirements and certainly do not look down on those international brides who have two ceremonies for legal purposes.

    Again, if you also read this thread, even on this last page, you'd know that you can't make an informed decision about not participating in a PPD if you are purposely being lied to by the couple. So, your argument about "just not going" doesn't hold water. If the invitation is worded correctly because the couple chose to be honest, then you can make an informed decision. And again, this thread addresses that, too. Most posters on here agree that going to a party to celebrate a marriage is fun and worth attending, unless they have ill intent (greed for more gifts, thinking their legal wedding wasn't good enough.)

     







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  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its

    Knottie63395614 said:
    @ohanabelle like I said, nobody is pointing a gun asking you to go to a PPD or DO OVER. 
    Also it would also be very helpful for people here to understand that two weddings are required by law in Europe and Latin America so, some women, including myself,  will not see a problem.
    The Church is different in the US so if you have different views or were raised in a different culture, we have to learn how it works out.
    Other than that, if the invitation says that a couple is inviting you to their convalidation, vow renewal, marriage celebration, and they want to do it with jeans or a white dress is none of yalls business. If the couple is clear, their celebration should not matter to any of you. Seriously, don't attend and instead of crying about it at a forum, send a hate note to the couple. That would be more mature than talking on their backs, because I am sure as hell you can't say it to their faces. 

    Just a thought!
    It's not a very well thought out thought, is it? I guess you don't read carefully.

    Yes, I understand that in other countries the legal procedures are different. Fully aware of that. If you actually took the time to read the thread, I don't have any issue with that, nor does anybody else in the whole 48 pages of this thread. That has been addressed, but thank you for trying to educate me. Unnecessary, and isn't news. 

    Don't have an issue being invited to a convalidation, vow renewal ceremony, or party celebrating the marriage of. (I'm not crazy about vow renewals, I think they're often showy and silly, and there's nothing wrong with a lovely anniversary party that doesn't involve playing dress up bride. Still, that's personal taste, and I'm not deeply offended by it.)

    I do have an issue with being deceived. I have issues with people staging fake do over weddings, because their first wedding wasn't good enough for whatever reason. I have issues with people deceiving their friends and family, pretending not to be married when they are, and being shallow enough to think a "real wedding" is about the dress and the cake, and the audience. 

    Your "whole gun to the head" reasoning is not very smart.
    If someone is honest, and sends me an invitation to a make pretend do over wedding, I politely decline. If they are dishonest (this was explained above, but you obviously missed it) and send me an invitation to a wedding, and I go believing I'm attending an actual wedding, then I've been lied to. 
    That's the issue. And nobody's "crying" about it on an internet forum. What a foolish thing to say. People are expressing their opinions, which is what an internet forum is for.
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  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
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    No, because it's very bad manners to write to someone purely for the purpose of telling them you disapprove of their behavior, and other people's terrible manners don't make it okay for me to have terrible manners. 

    Not my circus, not my monkeys. I'm not responsible for other people's ridiculous behavior or dishonesty. 

    Declining the invitation is adequate. 
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