Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Dollar Dance

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Re: Dollar Dance

  • The first time I witnessed a dollar dance was at a wedding I had been asked to work at as a caterer for a good friend for barely any compensation.

    The Dj made an announcement and about 1/4 of the guests got up to drunkenly dance with the bride. It was kind of a lull in the reception and it felt awkward for me to watch even not as a guest.

    Later on I greeted the bride to wish her congratulations and that I thought her dress was gorgeous, but to find they had safety pinned the bills to her beautiful dress. Worst part was that she continued to parade around in her dress with that money pinned to it..

    Ontop of all that, when I explained to my DOC that I won't be participating in a money dance, she grabbed my hands and said , "thank god! I just don't understand how a couple can beg to have their friends and family shower money onto them! As if they are just in love with money."

    With that said, to me it sounds more like a strip club as in it implies I will dance for my money.. At my wedding. Can't a bride just dance with her loved ones who took the time to spend that special day with them?

    Don't give in OP if it makes you feel uncomfortable, as obviously there is a good reason for your discomfort.
  • When I found my wedding dress, my mom made some joke (can't remember, i think it was about having pockets for tissues) and the consultant/ owner of the shot said something about "or for money. oh! the dollar dance! Pockets would be convenient for that". 

    I would have had no idea what she was talking about if not for the knot. But I replied "no! MOST DEFINITELY NOT!" and she promptly responded "I just went to a wedding and learned about the dollar dance! I had never heard of such a thing before! It was so uncomfortable and tacky! But then, the whole wedding was tacky, so I shouldn't have been so surprised." 


  • My FI had never heard of this before though I had. Since his family is the larger attendance group at our wedding I want to forgo it. HOWEVER, we were in a wedding last week where it was done and my FI was like WE ARE SO DOING THAT. I am going to skip it though because his family can tend to be judgemental and I do not want to be the talk of family dinners for the next decade!
  • I agree with PP that it is tacky to ask guests for money.  I usually write a check as my gift, so why should I give more money?

    I want to add an additional thought... 90% of the weddings I have gone to or been in, I did not have my wallet on me.  So as a guest I would feel awkward if the bride and groom were requesting donations and I had nothing to give.
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    So... the whole "treating your guests like ATMs" wouldn't bother you on principle, you just don't want the backlash from people realizing that that's what you're doing.

    It is knowing that we come from two different backgrounds, mine I have always heard this done at weddings.  His they never have, knowing how it can be to do something that veers off what they consider norm I am willing to skip that. 

    I don't understand snarky people on here who believe they are the Martha Stewart of wedding etiquette.  Probably the same woman who wore white to their weddings though tradition says only virgins wear white.

  •  
    So... the whole "treating your guests like ATMs" wouldn't bother you on principle, you just don't want the backlash from people realizing that that's what you're doing.

    It is knowing that we come from two different backgrounds, mine I have always heard this done at weddings.  His they never have, knowing how it can be to do something that veers off what they consider norm I am willing to skip that. 

    I don't understand snarky people on here who believe they are the Martha Stewart of wedding etiquette.  Probably the same woman who wore white to their weddings though tradition says only virgins wear white.

    1. The bolded is completely wrong - Queen Victoria popularized the white wedding dress, but the idea that only virgins should wear white is a myth.  Also, seriously? What is wrong with you? The state of someone's hymen upon marriage shouldn't be anyone's concern except the two people getting married and the God they may or may not believe in. 

    2. People around The Knot generally advocate that brides treat their guests as kindly and appropriately as possible - which includes not asking them to open their wallets for any reason - including the dollar dance. People do not sugar coat around brides who think its ok to beg for money. 

    3. Martha Stewart is not an etiquette expert by any means. She is part of the wedding industry and makes money off brides who ask their guests to open their wallets. 
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  •  
    So... the whole "treating your guests like ATMs" wouldn't bother you on principle, you just don't want the backlash from people realizing that that's what you're doing.

    It is knowing that we come from two different backgrounds, mine I have always heard this done at weddings.  His they never have, knowing how it can be to do something that veers off what they consider norm I am willing to skip that. 

    I don't understand snarky people on here who believe they are the Martha Stewart of wedding etiquette.  Probably the same woman who wore white to their weddings though tradition says only virgins wear white.

    Blue is actually the color associated with purity and virginity, which is why the Virgin Mary is usually depicted in blue.
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • I've seen it done at some weddings, mainly when I was younger, so I tend to think it's an older tradition that is fading out. But it never occurred to me to be offended by it. If I didn't have a dollar I just didn't participate. 
  • Live in Iowa it's at almost every wedding I've been to in IA and MN. I do not like them.
  • I'm in Iowa and it's at every single wedding I've been to. I think it's totally a Midwest thing. Which is funny considering farmers are about the stingiest people EVER.

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