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Wedding annoucements but no reception?

Knottie87120169Knottie87120169 member
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiancé and I live in North Carolina and our families are spread out all over the country. We want to have a private ceremony with just our parents and don't want to have a reception because it would just be too much to ask everyone to fly out  just for a dinner.  Is there a tactful way to announce our upcoming marriage even though we're not having a reception? We would like to avoid sending out announcements after we're married due to some time constraints. 
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Re: Wedding annoucements but no reception?

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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I'm not a huge fan of wedding announcements in the first place but I think it's especially weird to do them before the wedding.

    What are these time constraints that prevent you from sending out announcements afterwards?


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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Wedding announcements only really go out after a wedding. If I got one before a wedding I'd view it as "hey! we're getting married and not inviting you. Give us presents if you want!" Even if that's 100% not the intention, that's kind of how I'd see it. 

    Why can't you send them after the wedding? You could easily order them now, address/stamp them now and on your way home from the private ceremony, drop them in the mail.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
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    BMoreBride6BMoreBride6 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Again, I feel as though wedding announcements, especially BEFORE a wedding are like high school grad sending out graduation announcements when these people aren't invited to the graduation.  It's gift grabby. 
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    iloveotters2014iloveotters2014 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    wedding announcements are totally fine to do. As long as it's after the wedding. I agree with southernbelle, just have them ready to go now (stamped and everything) but wait to drop them off at the mail until after your ceremony. No time constraints there!
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    WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Knottie87120169 said:
    My fiancé and I live in North Carolina and our families are spread out all over the country. We want to have a private ceremony with just our parents and don't want to have a reception because it would just be too much to ask everyone to fly out  just for a dinner.  Is there a tactful way to announce our upcoming marriage even though we're not having a reception? We would like to avoid sending out announcements after we're married due to some time constraints. 
    Send out the announcements after you're married.  You're totally fine to have only your parents there, but you do need to host them for something after.  Even just going out for dinner.  Doesn't have to be a reception, but something food wise should be offered.  

    As for time constraints, have them printed, addressed and stamped ready to go whenever you have time, and then just drop them in the mail box the day after.  

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    JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    southernbelle0915 said:
    Wedding announcements only really go out after a wedding. If I got one before a wedding I'd view it as "hey! we're getting married and not inviting you. Give us presents if you want!" Even if that's 100% not the intention, that's kind of how I'd see it. 

    Why can't you send them after the wedding? You could easily order them now, address/stamp them now and on your way home from the private ceremony, drop them in the mail.

    **SITB**
    Agree with this.  You can pre-arrange the announcements but should wait to mail them until after you are married.  You could even ask one of your parents to mail them for you, if they would be open to doing that following your ceremony.

    Also, you don't mention this in your original post, but if you invite your parents to witness your wedding, do you plan to host something for them following the ceremony?  The reception is a thank you for taking the time to join you, and I hope you would be planning something appropriate to the time of your ceremony (brunch/lunch/cake&punch/dinner) for those who do attend with you.
    image
    Anniversary


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    lilacck28lilacck28 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    If your parents are coming to your wedding, then you need to have a reception. As in, you host your parents for a meal if it is meal time, or some snacks if it is not. Though small, it is still a reception for your wedding, and I'm sure it will be lovely. 
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2014
    Here is wedding announcement etiquette:

    You mail wedding announcements to people who were not invited to your wedding AFTER you are married.  This is a formal way of personally informing people that you are now married.  Here is suggested wording:

    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    announce their marriage
    Date
    City, State

    or

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    announce the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    Date
    City, State

    No details are appropriate.  Just the facts, ma'am.
    Expect cards of congratulations, but not necessarily gifts.

    Your wedding reception is for your guests on your wedding day.  If you have no guests, there is no reception.  Any parties you give at a later time are not a part of your wedding.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2014
    Knottie87120169 said:
    My fiancé and I live in North Carolina and our families are spread out all over the country. We want to have a private ceremony with just our parents and don't want to have a reception because it would just be too much to ask everyone to fly out  just for a dinner. Is there a tactful way to announce our upcoming marriage even though we're not having a reception? We would like to avoid sending out announcements after we're married due to some time constraints. 
    Just an additional note, it would be very rude to send something saying, "We are getting married, but you aren't invited," in advance of a wedding! 
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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