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Reception with multiple rooms

badbnagdwaybadbnagdway member
First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I am asking this because I know you guys will be brutally honest with me. I am trying to find a venue and keep finding wrinkles with my various choices. I just found out my reasonably priced top contender is $500 more than I thought. I contacted a local inn yesterday that is gorgeous. I assumed it would be out of the budget but they basically can do all inclusive (just bring the flowers, groom and photog) for a great price. We would have the run of the first floor of the inn and the grounds and porches. We are planning to invite between 80 - 90 people. 

There is one major wrinkle. Although there is plenty of room for all the guests to sit down, the guests will likely  not all fit into one dining room/one space. Obviously this is far from ideal. Has anyone had this issue before? Is it incredibly rude to essentially have to have two dining areas? I think I already know what y'all will say but I'm just wondering. I have seen the place before but I need to go and look at it again obviously to see what the exact lay out is. 

It is certainly very important to us that everyone be well hosted. It's just proving harder than I thought to find a venue that takes a small enough bite out of the budget to do everything we want for our guests :(
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Re: Reception with multiple rooms

  • badbnagdwaybadbnagdway member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Oh - and to clarify (sorry) the ceremony will not be the problem. If the weather is good we can do the ceremony outside, if not on the porch, if not in a dining room. It's when we get to where we have tables and whatnot for the reception that there is not one space that is big enough. 
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I would not book this venue. I had wanted to book the upstairs of one of my favorite restaurants, but they had redone it into separate rooms - and it was clearly separate rooms. I worried my guests would feel like there was a "Room A" and "Room B" based on how close they were to us.
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  • SenecafSenecaf member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary First Answer
    I'm going to agree with the PPs. I have to suggest not doing this. I've never seen a venue like this but as a guest I wouldn't feel to great to be separated in another room. Even in they are close. Think of all the things that happened at a wedding. Toasts, entrances, kissing etc. You'll cause your guests to miss a lot of that or they can come stand I'm your room while half the party sits
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The only possibly way I think a set up like this can work is if it's a true cocktail style reception - and even then it's less than ideal. 

    Unfortunately, I'd keep looking if I were you :( I wouldn't want to make some of my guests feel isolated or shoved into the "less important people" room. 
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  • daria24daria24 member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    We looked at a venue like this, and decided against it. Whoever isn't sitting in the room with the bride + groom would feel "b-list." If it was a true cocktail style reception, it wouldn't bother me as much, but I still feel like people would stick to their sections.
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  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
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    Agree with PPs.  I get separate rooms for separate parts of the event - ceremony in Room 1, cocktail hour on the porch, reception in Room 2 - and even sort of understand dinner in one room, dancing in the other, but this just doesn't sound good for your guests.  I love hearing the speeches, watching the first dance and seeing the cake being cut so I'd hate to miss that because the announcements didn't travel from one room to another.  Not to mention, depending on which room I was in, I might agonize all night about what it meant.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    If you and your FI will be able to sit in between the rooms, I think that could be the only acceptable way for it to work.  That way you aren't playing "favorites" with the guests and they will all be able to see you.  But I think that set up may be hard to pull off depending on the space.

    I attended a wedding like Scribe described and I was in the "B room".  It sucked.

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  • badbnagdwaybadbnagdway member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I appreciate all your feedback. Again, I knew you guys would be honest on it. I think I just needed to hear from others this definitely wouldn't work. When we agreed on a budget for the wedding I was thinking we would invite 70 people max. When we sat down together to make the list it turned out we are talking about 88 people. I have probably 4 or so people I could cut and one who I know will not come (a granny who can't travel due to health reasons). But my boo says his list can't be cut. 

    It's a bummer because I have found some fantastic and affordable venues in the area that are cheap and gorgeous and perfect for 70 people or less (places where there's only a nominal or no extra cost for the space, just service and food), but once we get to that 80 person mark we just totally are screwed. Everything nice is close to $2k, even the places that would take a little TLC are turning out to be around $1,100. 

    Back to looking into public parks...
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Good luck! Don't be afraid to look at public buildings too to see if they hold events. 

    We had already booked our venue (which I adored) when I found out a gorgeous public library building near us was available for rental. It wasn't too bad cost wise (obviously there's more costs in rentals and whatnot, but it would have costed us about the same as our venue that had tables and chairs). There may not be anything near you, but it's worth a shot. 
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    IDK, I think it depends on just how "separate" these rooms ultimately are. Often there are movable walls or giant double doors that can make it appear more open. Our venue is set up that way, so while it's technically two rooms they're very open to each other. Plus my table and the close family will technically be in the "B room" off the back, while everyone else is in the larger room with the DJ/dueling pianos/dance floor/bar. Nobody will be missing out on anything, and our head table will be positioned so everyone at every table can see it.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I've been to two weddings like this. At both, people left early. They missed the "events" and were generally annoyed.
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  • badbnagdwaybadbnagdway member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    PDKH said:
    Good luck! Don't be afraid to look at public buildings too to see if they hold events. 

    We had already booked our venue (which I adored) when I found out a gorgeous public library building near us was available for rental. It wasn't too bad cost wise (obviously there's more costs in rentals and whatnot, but it would have costed us about the same as our venue that had tables and chairs). There may not be anything near you, but it's worth a shot. 
    Definitely good thoughts and I had already found a listing (with prices) of all the rentable public spaces and rec type centers in the city (and outlying areas). We live in a beautiful city but unfortunately we have a truly ugly library (looks like that 60's or 70's area construction). It's a shame, I would love to get married in a library. 

    The rentals are often the deal killer -- when you get to where you're renting a big tent plus tables, chairs, etc, the $500 or so space becomes just as expensive as a lot of other venues. I have one option that would likely work ok... So... I'm going to keep trudging. 
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  • rsbloomrsbloom member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I was at a wedding that had an L shaped room with the dance floor in the corner of the L.  It was fine, we knew we were friends and not family members, but it would have been nice for the toasts and speeches to be given on the dance floor so everyone could see.  We could hear just fine, but had no view of the couple or the people making toasts from where we were, which was a bummer.  But the dances, and tosses were done on the dance floor, so we could still be a part of that.

    I think if you are able to see the main "activities" from both rooms, you're fine.  
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  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    My first wedding reception was in a restaurant that was in a converted Victorian home. It had multiple rooms, patios, etc. It was awesome! All of the food was staged in one room so everyone had to come through that area to get their meal then people were able to choose where they'd be sitting on their own. It worked out really well and our guests had a blast. Obviously the dance floor and bar were in more common areas so people had lots of opportunities to mingle, but it also gave different groups the ability to split off in to social groups that made the most sense. I'd throw a reception there again in a heartbeat (that is if that wouldn't be outrageously weird given the circumstances). 
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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    FI and I went to a wedding like this. There were four rooms. It was awful. We sat in a room with most people we didn't know (no seating chart and everyone we knew was close enough to B/G to be at the head table). Then our room became the dance room so our tables got pushed to the side and everyone took our chairs to sit and watch the dancing. We disliked it, but just our opinion. We don't think any less of the couple.

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  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2014
    My sisters wedding was this way and it worked out really well. They had stations of food set up in all rooms including the patio and seating in all rooms including the patio. No assigned seating but plenty of seating (more than the number of guests). People mingled a lot. Went inside, outside, from room to room. They also had sofas and lounge style seating and belly bars. I really enjoyed it. I agree with PPs that it's a no go if you are doing a formal seated dinner and one set of your guests ends up in the "B" room where you and your FI aren't, cannot hear toasts, see dances, etc.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    This is advice you have probably already considered.  But at 88 people, you might be able to fit in a large restaurant private room.  There are many places in my area (North NJ, NYC) with private rooms that fit about 100.  You don't have to bring anything in and it's really easy.  Maybe a restaurant would be an option.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • jnissajnissa member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I've seen this work out well, but you need to be creative with how you do things. I was at a b&b wedding in the smokey mountains where reception dinner was spaced out over several rooms on the bottom floor. the bride and groom did all of the "events" like toasts and cake cutting, ect. on the front porch where cocktail hour was hosted before we went in to dinner. nobody felt separated during dinner because it was just that, dinner. 

    the dance floor was then an entire room afterwards and that actually was kind of nice because if you wanted to dance, you danced. and if you wanted to go sit and drink and talk somewhere more quiet, you could. 

    BUT - if i were at a wedding like this and i were seated in one room while toasts or whatnot were happening in another room, i would side eye. 
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  • scrunchythiefscrunchythief member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    l I agree that if it's not open enough, then people will probably feel left out, even if they're not that angry about it.  You seem to be on the right path of thinking outside the box for venues and definitely wise to keep in mind the cost of rentals. 

    Just a few more ideas of p    laces to rent that might provide tables, chairs, etc. 
    -Ha    lls like the Knights of Columbus (where we had out wedding), VFW, Cultural Clubs (Polish American Society for example), or church halls, 
    -Diners can sometimes have surprising    ly nice back rooms too, even if the overall restaurant isn't that fancy.  
    -Hote    ls that handle more business conferences than weddings.  In college we had lots of dances at places like these and it would usually cost between $12 and $25 per person to go (no alcohol, per university policy)

    Hope that he    lps and good luck!
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  • badbnagdwaybadbnagdway member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Thanks again to you all, keep the good ideas coming. I have been contacting a lot of the public spaces this morning and am getting disheartened again as I'm running into a lot of issues with those spaces. For example, no booze :( Or, fire codes being ridiculously small for large spaces (60 people limits on spaces that could easily fit 90 reception style... because of a handicapped access issue).

    We would definitely be open to a restaurant but I haven't come up with one (yet!) that has a big enough private area. 

    I had an art gallery owner tell me that she lets people use her space for free when they are customers. So... I may become a customer, if the new space she is moving to is big enough. 
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