3 bridesmaids, 1 gay best friend, and four groomsmen- what to do with walking down the aisle?

Re: 3 bridesmaids, 1 gay best friend, and four groomsmen- what to do with walking down the aisle?

• wrigleyville member

  

  May 2014

  If I had a gay friend or relative in my WP, male or female, and any members of my WP had a problem with something as simple as walking next to them, that person/those people would be out of the WP and our friendship would be over. Period. End of story.

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• JCbride2015 member

  

  May 2014

  Yeah, if your GM have a problem with walking next to a gay man, your Fi is friends with some serious assholes.  And no, your gay best friend isn't basically a girl.  Why is this hard?

  
  

  My BFF is a lesbian woman and it never occurred to me until reading this post that we would walk any differently.  Good fucking grief.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

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• VulgarGirl member

  

  May 2014

  I've got two gay men standing up with me (and one straight woman), FI has one queer woman, one straight woman, and one gay man. We're having a gay guy wail with a queer woman, two straight girls walk together, and then two gay guys walking together. Wanna know how many shits any of them have given so far? None. Because I'm not friends with assholes.

  
  

  Someone did say "Won't people think it looks odd, having people of the same sex walk in together"...at my wedding? Honey if seeing two people of the same sex walk down an aisle together makes you uncomfortable, you're at the wrong damn wedding.

  
  

  Your male gay friend is not basically a girl because he is a gay man. That's a steryotype that needs to go away. And any dude who doesn't have the balls to walk down the aisle with another dude without worrying what people will think, isn't much a fucking man in my humble opinion.

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• weddingmcgee member

  

  May 2014

  You do it how you want and that's that. Screw tradition or what you're "supposed" to do. If someone doesn't want to walk with a gay man, then tell them to suck it up because it is your wedding. I haven't decided whether the wedding party will walk single file or paired, I'll probably decide at the rehearsal when we see how much room we have with all the people walking/standing. But, if I tell one of the groomsman to walk with my bridesman, they will do it no questions asked. If they act like a child and throw a fit, I will give them a talking to from hell because it's unacceptable to accommodate such a simple request when part of a friend's wedding. They can check their preference at the door and follow your directions and stand next to a gay man for a whole 30 seconds. 

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• iloveu4ever member

  

  May 2014

  It your wedding

  
   

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• TheGrimReaper member

  

  May 2014

  iloveu4ever said:

  It your wedding

   

   

   

   

   

  Excellent observation.

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• Alyssa18o6 member

  

  June 2014

  You've gotten alot of good advice. I'm having one of my best guy friends (who is gay) as my "man of honor". When I asked him the first thing he said to me was "please don't cater your wedding around the fact that i'm gay". I felt so bad that he'd feel that way. I never had any intention of doing pairs down the aisle anyways so it never even occurred to me. My FI's BIL offered to walk with him cause he said he's one the coolest guys he's ever met haha! But as of now we have decided that the groomsmen will be already at the alter, and my BMs would walk down alone. But i'm kind of leaning towards my man of honor, and maid of honor walking down together just because they are my oldest friends from highschool.

  

  
  
  

  
  

  

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• iloveu4ever member

  

  June 2014

  Don't need to be rude.

  TheGrimReaper said:

  
  

  iloveu4ever said:

  
  

  It your wedding

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Excellent observation.

  
   

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• Lauramae980 member

  

  June 2014

  My best friend, former roommate and all around awesome person is my Man of Honor. He knew me all my long single years and was like a brother to me. He is standing next to me while I get married. He is the only friend who never judged me, always supported me and is always there for me. He listened to me when I had a crush on my FI and was thrilled when we fell in love. 

  
  

  So, we have three bridesmaids, three groomsmen, a Man of Honor and a Best Man. We are pairing them off to walk down the aisle and it being an issue never even occurred to me. 

  

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• karamelkandykrunch member

  

  July 2014

  You can either have the groomsmen already standing at the alter with the groom and then have the matron of honor, bridesmaids, and bridesman walk down solo.  Or you can pair everyone off and whoever is paired up with your bridesman can just walk side by side... not arm in arm.  Unless they want to.
  

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• missdelilah member

  

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  I'm in a similar situation - five female BMs and one (gay if it's really necessary to the conversation) male.  Fortunately I don't think there'll be any problem getting one of FIs GM to walk with him if we decide to pair them up.  My BIL (sister's husband) is from a really conservative area, and he's still fine with the idea, and my two nephews are equally happy with it.  

  
  

  The problem isn't with your male bridal attendant, but with the GM.  Have you spoken with them about it?  

  
  

  There could be something behind the "my male BM is basically a girl to me" statement.  I know some gay people who identify as cis-gender, some as trans, and some somewhere in the middle, or in a completely new category.  Maybe we shouldn't all be jumping on the hate bandwagon because of a comment that came across as ignorant when we don't know what the full situation is.  OP could have made this clearer.

  
  

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