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Courthouse and reception

katenash520katenash520 member
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

I recently got engaged and we are starting to plan our wedding. We are thinking about doing a courthouse ceremony now and then having the full big wedding later. Doing our actual vows and the walk down the aisle followed by the big party. Is this something other people have done? Is this ok? Any advice on this would be great.

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Re: Courthouse and reception

  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    katenash520 said:

    I recently got engaged and we are starting to plan our wedding. We are thinking about doing a courthouse ceremony now and then having the full big wedding later. Doing our actual vows and the walk down the aisle followed by the big party. Is this something other people have done? Is this ok? Any advice on this would be great.

    Not ok - you can't have a wedding after your courthouse ceremony (which is still a wedding BTW). What you can do is have a big kickass party (sans wedding stuff) to celebrate your wedding and marriage. Your actual vows will be what you saw when you become someone's wife in the courthouse. 

    What's your reasoning for wanting o be married now?

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  • Liatris2010Liatris2010 mod
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    A wedding is a ceremony in which you are wed, so if you get married at the courthouse, that is your wedding. You may have a private wedding at the courthouse and then a party to celebrate right after, but pretending to get married after you've already been married is silly and will not be well received.
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    I don't understand this at all. A wedding is when two people get married. If you get married at the courthouse, that's a wedding. Wouldn't you feel silly wearing a wedding dress and having a pretend "wedding" when you're already his wife? 

    Can I ask why you're considering this? It if's due to timing for some reason and you'd rather be married sooner than later, I may be able to help. I planned my wedding in 13 days. 

    My H didn't walk at his graduation. Would you side-eye it if I rented out our high school and put on a whole graduation production for him and then threw a party? Same thing. 
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
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    I had a very private civil wedding by choice. There will not be another, bigger, "real" wedding because my civil wedding was legally binding and I'm now married.

    I recommend @PDKH‌ 's suggestion and also read the link she provided.

     







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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    ShesSoCold said:
    I don't understand this at all. A wedding is when two people get married. If you get married at the courthouse, that's a wedding. Wouldn't you feel silly wearing a wedding dress and having a pretend "wedding" when you're already his wife? 

    Can I ask why you're considering this? It if's due to timing for some reason and you'd rather be married sooner than later, I may be able to help. I planned my wedding in 13 days. 

    My H didn't walk at his graduation. Would you side-eye it if I rented out our high school and put on a whole graduation production for him and then threw a party? Same thing. 
    So much this. 
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    edited August 2014
    katenash520 said:

    I recently got engaged and we are starting to plan our wedding. We are thinking about doing a courthouse ceremony now and then having the full big wedding later. Doing our actual vows and the walk down the aisle followed by the big party later. Is this something other people have done? Is this ok? Any advice on this would be great.

    Now it's etiquette kosher.

    Whatever you do later on isn't a wedding (where two people are wed), so pretending it is turns into silly theatrics. By all means, throw the party - DJ, catering, fancy venue, the works. But pretending it's a wedding when you're already married is a big no no. 

    Also, if you do this, just be sure you're 100% clear on your invitations that you're already married and the event is a celebration of your marriage - not a wedding.

    ETA words
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    You get ONE wedding day.  If you want a reception, you may invite people to celebrate after your ceremony, ON YOUR WEDDING DAY.  This is the only way you can have a wedding reception.
     after a courthouse ceremony.
    You can have a party any time, but no ceremony, no wedding dress, no bridesmaids, no bouquet tossing.  To pretend you are having a wedding after you are already married is childish.  Little girls play wedding with Barbie dolls, not grown women.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    I have known people that have done a courthouse ceremony followed by a party right after & it was wonderful. Due to space at the courthouse only a few individuals were able to join them there, I think it was just parents & siblings) and then they met up with everyone else for the reception.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    What is your reasoning for wanting to do this?  Why not just plan the big affair that you want and get married then?  Why the need to get married at the courthouse and then plan a big "wedding?"  I just don't get it.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Erikan73 said:

    I have known people that have done a courthouse ceremony followed by a party right after & it was wonderful. Due to space at the courthouse only a few individuals were able to join them there, I think it was just parents & siblings) and then they met up with everyone else for the reception.

    This is cool to do as well.  As long as you have only immediate family attend the ceremony then you can invite a larger amount of people to the party portion.

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  • Marzipan13Marzipan13 member
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    OP, if you were planning on doing exactly what you had titled this thread ("courthouse and reception"), that would be fine.  What you went on to explain, however, is not fine.  

    I am also curious - can you explain why you don't want to just have a big affair, if that's what you want?
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
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    I will never, in a million years, understand why people think a courthouse wedding isn't a "real wedding". When you leave that courthouse, you are married, hence it was a wedding.

    It baffles me.

    It's also insulting to people who get married in a courthouse, as you're saying their wedding wasn't real, or it was somehow inferior to the big poofy princess party.
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