Bridesmaid Hair

Re: Bridesmaid Hair

• JaxInBlue member

  

  July 2014

  Was it clear to her when she said yes to the hair style that there was no room to back out?  I can see her thinking that the wedding's Saturday, it's Thursday, that's two days and usually within a normal 24-hour cancellation window.  Especially if you didn't communicate to them that there was a no cancellation clause.
  
  I think if you weren't up front with them, then it's on you to cover the cost of the appointment.  You might also offer it to another woman involved in the wedding - perhaps a mother, grandmother or aunt.
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• ginger2431 member

  

  July 2014

  Yes, I told them the day I signed the contract that everything was set in stone, as well as what time their specific appointments were at. The other family members already had hair appointments scheduled as well, which is why I tried offering it to those who didn't (bridesmaids).

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  July 2014

  ginger2431 said:

  Yes, I told them the day I signed the contract that everything was set in stone, as well as what time their specific appointments were at. The other family members already had hair appointments scheduled as well, which is why I tried offering it to those who didn't (bridesmaids).

  If the BM knew that when you signed the contract she was locked in then she should cover the cost of her now cancelled appointment.

  
  

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• manateehugger member

  

  July 2014

  Yeah, it's important to know how the conversation went between you two when you first booked the appointments. If all you said was, "I'll book an appointment for you," I would have assumed I could cancel it within 24 hours. I would also try to hawk the slot out to any woman attending the wedding before confronting her over it. 

  
  

  Also, I know it's too late for you and what's done is done, but for the lurkers, I would never have signed a contract with stylists that listed in detail what number of appointments were going to be done - just because stuff like this happens all too often. I paid a deposit and a minimum that needed to be met for the team to travel to us (on my own, I basically met the minimum with just bridal hair and makeup).  

  

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• JaxInBlue member

  

  July 2014 edited July 2014

  I'm sorry if I'm being obtuse but did you actually say something to the effect of "once I book the appointments, there is no cancelling them?"  Because if someone tells me something is set in stone, sometimes I just think that means the times are nailed down or plans have been finalized, not necessarily that my financial responsibility is set.  Especially if someone else is taking care of arrangements.  I might think that my particular piece is still mine to control.
  
  Regardless, there's a couple of things I'd try:
  

  • Split the cost of the appointment with one of your other bridesmaids or family members, if cost was a reason they'd said no.  See what they'd be comfortable paying and then cover the difference.  You'd be out less money.
  • Contact the stylist and see if it would be possible to rearrange appointments so that she does not lose your bridesmaid's spot - have everyone come in later or earlier or otherwise consolidate the appointments. Then see if she can rebook the open time with another client.  If she can, negotiate - she's not losing an appointment so maybe you just cover the difference (if there is one) between the appointment she gets and what the appointment with your bridesmaid would have been for her.
  • See if there's a groomsman's SO/date or an out-of-town guest that would want to use the appointment.  I don't know a ton of people who go to the salon if they aren't in the wedding party, but there's a chance.

  Ultimately, though, I think since it's your name on the contract, you are the one responsible for the payment.  You can remind your bridesmaid if you were clear about set in stone meaning no cancelling, but it's not her business relationship.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• ginger2431 member

  

  July 2014

  She knew the payment was due two days ago, but since she was out of town was unable to give me her portion then. Typically, I would assume that if a payment is due on a certain date, that you can't cancel later than that date.

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• manateehugger member

  

  July 2014 edited July 2014

  
  ginger2431 said: She knew the payment was due two days ago, but since she was out of town was unable to give me her portion then. Typically, I would assume that if a payment is due on a certain date, that you can't cancel later than that date.
  
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  I get the feeling you are dancing around the fact that you weren't explicit with her. I've never heard of having to do a contract for a specific number of appointments as a bridesmaid, so I would never have assumed I couldn't cancel my appointment within a reasonable time unless you had said to me, "I'm signing a contract that says no cancellations, so you have to pay whether you get your hair done or not."

  
  

  I would first talk to any woman coming to the wedding that you think might want to use the timeslot, and I'd ask her to talk to other women too. 

  
  

  If she knew that the appointment had to be paid for one way or another, yes, she should pay. If you didn't make it clear that cancellations were not allowed, I think it's on you. 

  

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• JaxInBlue member

  

  July 2014

  Okay.  So she didn't pay when money was due.  You can remind her that there was a no cancellation arrangement, and that payment was already due on Tuesday.  Whether or not you want to push her for the money, though, probably should depend on whether or not this is typical behavior for her and the type of friendship you have.
  
  I'd really try to keep it casual - along the lines of "Can't wait to see your new do!  I'm sure the stylist will be able to do something really nice/cute/sophisticated <<adjective appropriate to your friend's style>> with it even if it's not as long as it was.  I know you wanted to cancel the appointment, but they were nonrefundable as of <<payment date>> so the time slot is still yours."  Could she have another non-hair specific service done?
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• atlastmrsg member

  

  July 2014

  I think the bigger issue is that the bridesmaids have to pay for their own hairdos from your stylist.  The general rule is that you pay for when your bridesmaids go to your stylist for your wedding.  If bridesmaid chooses to do hair herself, or go have it done without the rest of you, she pays for it.

  
  

  Regardless of the etiquette faux pas, if the bridesmaids committed to paying, then they need to pony up.  Even short hair can have a nice blow out, so there's styling that can be done.  Perhaps she's using her new haircut as an excuse because she doesn't want to pay.

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• JaxInBlue member

  

  July 2014

  atlastmrsg said:

  I think the bigger issue is that the bridesmaids have to pay for their own hairdos from your stylist.  The general rule is that you pay for when your bridesmaids go to your stylist for your wedding.  If bridesmaid chooses to do hair herself, or go have it done without the rest of you, she pays for it.

  I don't think this is true.  If a bride is mandating hairdos from a certain stylist, or perhaps if there is no other option, then yes, the bride covers the cost.  But in this case, the OP offered the services without a requirement of saying yes.  She provided an upfront cost and let her party make their own decisions.  At least from my understanding, this is an appropriate thing to do.
  
  But I agree, there is ambiguity about how the committed the bridesmaids knew they were and that there should be options for someone with a shorter hairstyle.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• manateehugger member

  

  July 2014

  atlastmrsg said:

  I think the bigger issue is that the bridesmaids have to pay for their own hairdos from your stylist.  The general rule is that you pay for when your bridesmaids go to your stylist for your wedding.  If bridesmaid chooses to do hair herself, or go have it done without the rest of you, she pays for it.

  
  

  Regardless of the etiquette faux pas, if the bridesmaids committed to paying, then they need to pony up.  Even short hair can have a nice blow out, so there's styling that can be done.  Perhaps she's using her new haircut as an excuse because she doesn't want to pay.

  In defense of OP, it sounds like she gave everyone the option since some said yes and some said no.

  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  July 2014

  If you made it 100% crystal clear that there was no backing out, I think she should cover the cost. Obviously, she'll already know this if you were clear.

  
  

  If you weren't clear, then I think it's your problem to fix.

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  July 2014

  atlastmrsg said:

  I think the bigger issue is that the bridesmaids have to pay for their own hairdos from your stylist.  The general rule is that you pay for when your bridesmaids go to your stylist for your wedding.  If bridesmaid chooses to do hair herself, or go have it done without the rest of you, she pays for it.

  
  

  Regardless of the etiquette faux pas, if the bridesmaids committed to paying, then they need to pony up.  Even short hair can have a nice blow out, so there's styling that can be done.  Perhaps she's using her new haircut as an excuse because she doesn't want to pay.

  That is only true if you require them to get their hair professionally done.  The OP offered the choice of getting it done professionally or just doing it themselves.  For the people who choose the stylist then it is on them to pay for it, not the bride.

  
  

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• beachyone15 member

  

  July 2014

  Not sure if this is possible, but IF you end up having to pay for it, would you be able to use it for yourself for the rehearsal dinner or something?
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• ohannabelle member

  

  August 2014

  I think absolutely, this boils down to how specific you were. If you very clearly and without doubt told them that the hairdresser doesn't allow cancellations, that's one thing. If not, it's your responsibility.

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• smhubbel member

  

  August 2014

  Is there anyone else who might want to take the appointment? The flower girl? Maybe your mom? Mother of the groom? Grandmother? Sister? Cousin? Aunt? I don't know. A guy with long hair? lol There might be someone who isn't in your wedding party but would love to have their hair done and be a part of the time with you on your big day, even if they aren't in the wedding party. 

  
  

  A younger cousin might love to be included and her parents might be willing to cover the cost. My younger sister was in my cousin's wedding as a junior bridesmaid when I was in high school. I wasn't in the wedding because she already had quite a few bridesmaids already and I was at an age where I was too old to be a flower girl or junior bridesmaid or anything else. As it was she had 7 girls standing up for her. Since my younger sister was getting her hair done with the wedding party, my aunt and mom made sure that my older sister and I were not left out and we got to have our hair done at the same place at the same time. It was nice to be included. 

  
  

  If you can't find anyone, then I think she should be gracious enough to pay for the appointment. As you gave her the option and she committed to it, it is her responsibility. Although, if she puts up a big stink about it, it may just not be worth it and you might have to just suck it up and pay for it.

  
  

  Don't let it stress you out though since your day is about you and your groom committing to each other, not some chick's hair. Years from now, it won't matter if you had to pay for an extra appointment when you look back on the day. However, if you let it upset you and cause a problem between you and your BM, then you will possibly see it in the pictures. You also just want to be happy and enjoy yourself! Not deal with drama. Focus on the happiness of you and your groom, so when you look back on wedding pictures you will really be able to see how truly happy you were the day you committed to each other. 

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