Etiquette

Rude to have a small registry?

koriemokoriemo
Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
member
edited August 2014 in Etiquette
My aunts are throwing a shower for us. We registered for some things we need, but don't have room for many things. We'll be living in a tiny place. Literally, we'll be living in an RV and travelling while FI expands his consulting business. We're probably going to spend 3 years travelling before settling down. And when we do settle down, it's likely to be a small apartment in San Fransisco.

So, I'm not really sure what to register for. My mom just wants me to register for all of the typical home items, and then store them until we needed them. This seems so impractical, considering we don't know where we will end up or what we will need. It feels rude to get all of these lovely gifts and then shove them in my parents' basement for three years.

I registered on Amazon for some more obscure items that fit our lifestyle immediately, and things that we will use in the RV and will be practical for the rest of our lives. For example, a french press coffee maker, and a camping grill we can use on the road or on an apartment patio. We are young and don't have much, so we do really appreciate them throwing us a shower to help us start our lives together.

I heard that it was rude to have a small registry because it means we are asking for money. It's not that I want people to give money; it's just that I DON'T want them to give me stuff I won't use. Obviously I won't mind getting money, but I don't expect it (or anything, on that note)

Would it be rude to ask my aunts to spread the word that we won't have room for lots for things and to explain our living situation IF people ask about what to get us or question the small registry?

ETA: By "small" I mean about 25 items for a shower of about 20 people. Items vary in price from $10-300. I'm thinking of adding a registry to Bed Bath and Beyond with about 10 items.

Re: Rude to have a small registry?

  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
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    edited August 2014
    I think you need to have enough on the registry to cover a shower since the whole point of a shower is to give physical gifts, not cash. Cash showers are tacky. 

    If you don't need physical items, decline the shower. 

    ETA: Small registries for weddings are completely acceptable. 
  • indianaalumindianaalum
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
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    edited August 2014
    If you don't want gifts and aren't looking for cash, then DECLINE the shower. It would be the only right thing to do in this situation. Showers are GIFT giving events

    Personally, I would just take my mom up on the storing gifts idea if you insist on having a shower. You are probably gonna get gifts either way if you have a shower. Most people don't like to give gift cards/cash at a shower...how boring to only watch someone open that anyhow.

    I think you have two choices: have shower knowing you will get gifts, or cancel shower.

    It's not rude to have a small registry, but it is probably wiser to have a larger one if you are going to have a shower as people will just pick gifts you REALLY don't need then because they won't know what you want
  • It's not rude to have a small registry, but a shower might not be the best idea in your situation. You could have a bridal luncheon or tea instead.

    Anniversary
  • I second scribe; you'll still need those basics and that alone should get you up to 30 or 40 items. I suggest looking at Corelle for your plates since they are almost impossible to break. And as far as sheets and towels go, you could always register for several sets and store the extras with your folks. No matter where you end up you will need sheets and towels and those will wear out eventually. And if you're comfortable doing so, you could register for a nice frame to put a wedding photo in down the road or a nice set of toasting flutes to use at your wedding. That way your guests have enough to chose from but you're not going crazily overboard for your lifestyle.
    huskypuppy14
  • Thanks for the thoughts!

    If 20 people attend the shower, what would be considered enough items?
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    koriemo said:
    Thanks for the thoughts!

    If 20 people attend the shower, what would be considered enough items?
    20 items.
  • indianaalumindianaalum
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
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    edited August 2014
    Jen4948 said:
    koriemo said:
    Thanks for the thoughts!

    If 20 people attend the shower, what would be considered enough items?
    20 items.

    SITB:

    Actually, I think it depends on the size of the item. If you put in 20 spatulas, probably not. It's a know your crowd thing. If you know a typical person spend 50.00, and you have 20 items that cost 2.00 each..then you probably don't have enough in there. Chances are people don't want to just spend 2.00 on an item for you. 

    On the flipside, if you have 20 items and they are all OVER priced, you don't have enought either. You need a nice middle ground of items and costs

    It's not about HOW many you put in there, but they need to be a variety of price ranges to meet different budgets. Some people like to buy multiple tiny items, whereas some like to buy 1 big one..or go in as a group
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    And, for a shower, if there's nothing left on the registry that fits someone's budget, you're way more likely to get either a gift card or something random than you are cash. No one does cash gifts for showers. It's specifically a physical gift giving occasion. Think outside the box, think future, think multi use, or change it to a luncheon or tea instead.
    indianaalum[Deleted User]
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