Hotel Etiquette - Is it rude if I.....?

MegEn1 · August 2014

I was posting on someone else's thread and this question popped in my mind. So I'm putting it to the forum!

I want a nice hotel room for my first night as a Mrs. My FMIL wants a nice hotel as well. We've found a nice place that does complementary blocks for about $180 per night - a little expensive. Generally when I stay at hotels I try to aim for $100-$150 per night. However, for many of the guests this rate likely won't be an issue.

But for some guests, it might. I want to make sure my guests aren't too put-out coming to the wedding, while those who want to fancy it up a bit have the option as well. So I figured I'd reserve blocks at another hotel, about 10 minutes away, at a more affordable rate - likely about $130 per night. We'll be providing shuttles to and from both hotels, which are almost equidistant to the ceremony and reception site.

But is it rude to have an upscale hotel and a more reasonable hotel? Is it classifying my guests between the 'rich' hotel and the 'poor' hotel? I really don't want to be rude, but I know my MIL and all for FI's family would prefer the nicer hotel (and they are paying for about half the wedding) and I'll admit, I really want a fancy hotel room for the one night. I want to splurge on that. Am I putting my needs ahead of being good to my guests, or is it considered OK to offer the option to guests based on their preferences?

Thanks!

tigersgirlgv · August 2014

You are absolutely fine. You are providing options and one of them is budget-friendly. People have the choice to choose to stay at either or find their own accommodations. As long as you don't refer to them as the "rich" hotel and the "poor" hotel to your guests (I know you wouldn't

), you're in the clear.

LondonLisa · August 2014

I think it is a bit presumptuous to have an expensive hotel be the only option if you are doing room blocks. So I would say definitely have a more budget-friendly option as well. Also, your guests don't have to stay at the same hotel as you. If you want to stay at the Ritz and only do a room block at the Holiday Inn, I also think that is fine.

I don't think anyone would see it as the "rich hotel" and the "poor hotel" because I assume your guests aren't the bullies in "Heathers"

Maggie0829 · August 2014

That is not rude at all. You are giving your guests options and it is up to them to decide if they want to spend an extra $50 a night or not. It isn't like you are only offering the more expensive hotel to a certain number of guests and the less expensive option to another group of guests. Now that would be classifying your guests. But since you are offering both options to everyone then that is fine.

RebeccaFlower · August 2014

Just because you block hotels doesn't mean that people have to book there. They are free to book wherever, so don't worry about it

kmmssg · August 2014

I think it is quite considerate to have a couple of room blocks in different price ranges. Your plan sounds great.

JaxInBlue · August 2014

Agree with PPs. You're presenting options for your guests. It's up to them to pick Hotel A or Hotel B, or to opt to make their own arrangements.

We didn't have enough need to do two hotel blocks at our wedding, so we arranged and advertised the block at the hotel DH preferred, but then also posted hotel info for nearby places so guests could also make their own choices, whether that was based on price or loyalty programs or whatever.

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

No, it's not rude. It's nice because you're giving people a choice. You could have a millionaire guest who wants to stay at the $130/night place. It's not like like you're dictating where they stay.

We had 3 hotel blocks - a Holiday Inn, a Courtyard Marriott and then a pretty ritzy local hotel. They were all less than 1/2 mile from each other and the ceremony venue. That way, people had the choice. I have no idea where most people stayed - it didn't matter.

climbingsingle · August 2014

I don't think that's rude at all. The resort where I'm having my wedding is also pretty pricey, even with a considerable discount. But I have a block there and provided my guests with info on other hotels in the area. I figure everyone can choose what they're comfortable paying.

melbenso · August 2014

Not rude at all. DH and I were once invited to a wedding where the hotel with room blocks for the wedding was over $200 per night. We were traveling in from out of state, so we would have needed to stay for several nights, and it was just beyond what we were able to spend with the rest of the costs of the wedding. We had a hard time finding a less expensive room. I would have really appreciated it if the bride had blocked off some rooms at a less expensive hotel - or at least provided information on less expensive hotels.

AddieCake · August 2014

It's not like you're blocking rooms at the different hotels and then assigning people to them. To me, this is no different than having a variety of price points on a registry.

cafarrie · August 2014

Not rude at all - but kudos to you for thinking this through! Like PP's have said, as long as you have options that's totally fine AND no one is required to book there anyway, so I think you're good!

We had a similar situation at our wedding last month, only 2 hotels within walking distance of our ceremony and reception one was fairly expensive in the downtown/campus area or our college town, and one that was just off campus for quite a bit cheaper. It ended up being about an even split between the two places!

sarawifenow · August 2014

I would be completely happy with those options as a guest. Sometimes I want to have an upscale room when traveling for a wedding, so it would be nice to have that option! The more affordable one would be an awesome back up for me if I looked at my finances and the "fancy" one was not something I could swing.

wrigleyville · August 2014

I would appreciate having two options. If we wanted a treat, we'd pick the more expensive hotel. If we were on a budget that weekend, we'd stay at the cheaper hotel. I've never felt "left out" when I go to weddings and we're staying in a cheaper hotel than our friends.

mysticl · August 2014

I wouldn't call $130 a night a "poor" hotel. I recently spent $60 on a nice hotel. It wasn't fancy but I was very impressed with it. I also wouldn't judge someone's financial situation based on what hotel they booked. Some people don't feel the need to spend a lot of money on a place where they are just going to sleep.

MegEn1 · August 2014

Thanks for all the responses! I was almost 90% of the way toward 'Stop being rude and terrible to your guests, MegEn.' So I am pleasantly surprised that I'm in the clear!

I also may have found another way to deal with it - we were going to do a shuttle to and from each hotel, but the pricey hotel has a parking garage across the street! So while I will still block off rooms at two hotels, it opens up a lot of opportunities for guests to stay wherever the heck they want, park at the parking garage, and take the shuttle all together with everyone else (since parking is rather limited at my ceremony/reception site). If that's okay to have the shuttle just running from the one hotel since it has a giant parking garage across the street.

Would that also be acceptable? Since joining the Knot I am really, REALLY trying to make sure my etiquette is as perfect as can be. I don't want to snub anyone.

mysticl · August 2014

MegEn1 said:

Thanks for all the responses! I was almost 90% of the way toward 'Stop being rude and terrible to your guests, MegEn.' So I am pleasantly surprised that I'm in the clear!

I also may have found another way to deal with it - we were going to do a shuttle to and from each hotel, but the pricey hotel has a parking garage across the street! So while I will still block off rooms at two hotels, it opens up a lot of opportunities for guests to stay wherever the heck they want, park at the parking garage, and take the shuttle all together with everyone else (since parking is rather limited at my ceremony/reception site). If that's okay to have the shuttle just running from the one hotel since it has a giant parking garage across the street.

Would that also be acceptable? Since joining the Knot I am really, REALLY trying to make sure my etiquette is as perfect as can be. I don't want to snub anyone.

I don't know about etiquette but as a guest I would not want to drive to one location to stand around to wait for a shuttle and then be driven to the venue and then reverse the process. I would rather just drive to the venue. Actually, I'd rather drive to the venue anyhow so that I can leave when I want. Also, is this parking garage free or are guests at the other hotel going to have to pay to park there?

indianaalum · August 2014

I think you are totally fine

MegEn1 · August 2014

mysticl said:

MegEn1 said:

Thanks for all the responses! I was almost 90% of the way toward 'Stop being rude and terrible to your guests, MegEn.' So I am pleasantly surprised that I'm in the clear!

I also may have found another way to deal with it - we were going to do a shuttle to and from each hotel, but the pricey hotel has a parking garage across the street! So while I will still block off rooms at two hotels, it opens up a lot of opportunities for guests to stay wherever the heck they want, park at the parking garage, and take the shuttle all together with everyone else (since parking is rather limited at my ceremony/reception site). If that's okay to have the shuttle just running from the one hotel since it has a giant parking garage across the street.

Would that also be acceptable? Since joining the Knot I am really, REALLY trying to make sure my etiquette is as perfect as can be. I don't want to snub anyone.

I don't know about etiquette but as a guest I would not want to drive to one location to stand around to wait for a shuttle and then be driven to the venue and then reverse the process. I would rather just drive to the venue. Actually, I'd rather drive to the venue anyhow so that I can leave when I want. Also, is this parking garage free or are guests at the other hotel going to have to pay to park there?

Flat fee with the option of street parking (same options if a person drives there and the spaces are filled up, as I only 'own' about 30 parking spaces for the venue. There's a longer post on this ... somewhere.) I'm happy to do whichever is most convenient and appropriate for the guests - utilizing this parking garage near the more expensive hotel to open up more hotel choices for the guests or doing two shuttles from a secondary hotel and asking them to be pegged to one of those two hotels if they want to utilize the shuttle.

It matters because if I go with the first option I'd have to get a bigger shuttle.

ETA: Eh, as I typed it I realized it would just be best to utilize the two-shuttle tactic. Anyone who isn't utilizing those shuttles will have room to park in the 30 spaces. I need to not complicate this so much.

huskypuppy14 · August 2014

I wouldn't call 180 an expensive hotel, and I wouldn't call 130 cheap. They are both middle of the road, reasonable for my location. Price really depends on the area. If the price is below 200 a night I'm happy. I've been to many weddings where the hotel is 200-300 a night, especially if it's in a touristy area.

I don't know what part of the country you are in, but if you think 180 is expensive, then maybe you should also book the other hotel.

My room block was 180 a night, and it was also the location of the wedding, so I didn't block any other rooms anywhere else. If someone didn't want to spend that, they could find their own hotel, which some people did. Most of the guest list was also within about an hour of our wedding venue, so most didn't have to stay if they didn't want to (but many did).

MegEn1 · August 2014

huskypuppy14 said:

I wouldn't call 180 an expensive hotel, and I wouldn't call 130 cheap. They are both middle of the road, reasonable for my location. Price really depends on the area. If the price is below 200 a night I'm happy. I've been to many weddings where the hotel is 200-300 a night, especially if it's in a touristy area.

I don't know what part of the country you are in, but if you think 180 is expensive, then maybe you should also book the other hotel.

My room block was 180 a night, and it was also the location of the wedding, so I didn't block any other rooms anywhere else. If someone didn't want to spend that, they could find their own hotel, which some people did. Most of the guest list was also within about an hour of our wedding venue, so most didn't have to stay if they didn't want to (but many did).

I call everything pricey. I'm very attached to my monies.

I guess I'm just concerned because I really don't want to put a burden on the guests. I want the whole thing to be as easy on them as possible. While for the area, the $180 is pretty fair, we have people coming from all over.

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