Little sister as Maid Of Honor?

MCM0W0 · July 2014

Hello all,

Just wondering if its proper to have my younger sister who will be 15 or 16 at the time of wedding to be my Maid of Honor? We are extremely close and know we always will be. I do have friends my age (between 21-26), but I'm torn. I feel like its whoever is closest to me and that would be my sister. Thank you!

southernbelle0915 · July 2014

I think it's a wonderful idea. She is not too young if that's what you're thinking. You're absolutely right that you should ask the person who's closest to you.

AddieCake · July 2014

No way. The sky will fall. Do you really want to be responsible for the sky falling? Do you?!?!?

ohannabelle · July 2014

AddieCake said:

No way. The sky will fall. Do you really want to be responsible for the sky falling? Do you?!?!?

Oh, great. Now there's going to be blue all over the damned place.

ohannabelle · July 2014

Kidding, OP. This is fine.

lc07 · July 2014

OP, your gut is right. You pick the person closest to you to be your MOH. Age and ability to plan events has nothing to do with it. I think it's great you are so close with your sister. I would choose her.

Bubblegum5586 · July 2014

Of course! I think picking your sister (if you are close) is the best way to go! They will always be your sister (as friends can come and go)! I was 27 at my wedding and my sister/MOH was 19. She was amazing and still planned me a lovely shower and kick ass bachelorette (with some help from my other BMs). I know that isn't a requirement, but just wanted to point out that her age didn't prohibit her from anything she wanted to do.

smhubbel · August 2014

My little sister is going to be my maid of honor! I am the middle of three daughters in my family. I didn't want to pick one sister over the other so I told them to discuss it and decide. My older sister hates public speaking, but my little sister like it. In the end, because the maid of honor gives a speech, they decided that my little sister would be the MOH. She is going to be 21 by the time of my wedding, so older than your little sister, but still. I think if she is the closest to you, you should definitely have her be your MOH.

If you would want your MOH to plan the bachlorette party, your little sister still could. It just would not be going out clubbing or something. She could plan the games and activities to do at the party at someone's house as well as delegate other bridesmaids to bring food or drinks (especially if you want alcohol). I think a 16 year old is 100% capable of that if that is what you are worried about. I'm sure your sister would love to do that for you as well as any other duties of a MOH you might expect. (like helping you shop for you wedding dress or whatnot. I mean, who doesn't want to go to a wedding dress store at the age of 16?)

mrsmagicgeek · August 2014

smhubbel said:
My little sister is going to be my maid of honor! I am the middle of three daughters in my family. I didn't want to pick one sister over the other so I told them to discuss it and decide. My older sister hates public speaking, but my little sister like it. In the end, because the maid of honor gives a speech, they decided that my little sister would be the MOH. She is going to be 21 by the time of my wedding, so older than your little sister, but still. I think if she is the closest to you, you should definitely have her be your MOH.

If you would want your MOH to plan the bachlorette party, your little sister still could. It just would not be going out clubbing or something. She could plan the games and activities to do at the party at someone's house as well as delegate other bridesmaids to bring food or drinks (especially if you want alcohol). I think a 16 year old is 100% capable of that if that is what you are worried about. I'm sure your sister would love to do that for you as well as any other duties of a MOH you might expect. (like helping you shop for you wedding dress or whatnot. I mean, who doesn't want to go to a wedding dress store at the age of 16?)

Again, no. No one "has" to give a speech, or go dress shopping with you, unless they choose to do so, and whether or not they chose to do so has nothing to do with their position in your wedding. If those are your expectations, you need to revisit them.

smhubbel · August 2014

foundmymagicgeek said:

My little sister is going to be my maid of honor! I am the middle of three daughters in my family. I didn't want to pick one sister over the other so I told them to discuss it and decide. My older sister hates public speaking, but my little sister like it. In the end, because the maid of honor gives a speech, they decided that my little sister would be the MOH. She is going to be 21 by the time of my wedding, so older than your little sister, but still. I think if she is the closest to you, you should definitely have her be your MOH.

If you would want your MOH to plan the bachlorette party, your little sister still could. It just would not be going out clubbing or something. She could plan the games and activities to do at the party at someone's house as well as delegate other bridesmaids to bring food or drinks (especially if you want alcohol). I think a 16 year old is 100% capable of that if that is what you are worried about. I'm sure your sister would love to do that for you as well as any other duties of a MOH you might expect. (like helping you shop for you wedding dress or whatnot. I mean, who doesn't want to go to a wedding dress store at the age of 16?)
Again, no. No one "has" to give a speech, or go dress shopping with you, unless they choose to do so, and whether or not they chose to do so has nothing to do with their position in your wedding. If those are your expectations, you need to revisit them.

Again, I said "IF". My gosh. Nit picking.

In my family, it is standard that there is a MOH speech and a best man speech at the wedding reception. My older sister knew that she wouldn't want to give a speech, so she said she didn't want to be MOH. She didn't want me to not have that part of the tradition because of her anxiety over public speaking, so between the two of them, they decided my younger sister would be MOH.

I agree that dress shopping is something that isn't required. However, if it is your sister and you two are very close, you may want her opinion on the dress for your big day. I don't think this is such a big deal because if it is the OP's younger sister who she is SO close to, I don't know why REALLY wanting her to come dress shopping would be an issue for the sister. I am sure her sister would WANT to go. As far as the party, again, if she is close, why would she not be happy to do this for her sister? My point is just because she isn't of legal drinking age doesn't mean she can't do X, Y, and Z to put together a bachlorette party.

You need to revisit how you spend your time if it is usually harassing someone and nit picking what they say on a website. Why is it that you are taking ONE thing I say in a post and criticizing? What is it that you are so unhappy about in your life that you have to do that? What I was saying to the OP had nothing to do with what you are saying anyways, so butt out.

JCbride2015 · August 2014

smhubbel said:

foundmymagicgeek said:

My little sister is going to be my maid of honor! I am the middle of three daughters in my family. I didn't want to pick one sister over the other so I told them to discuss it and decide. My older sister hates public speaking, but my little sister like it. In the end, because the maid of honor gives a speech, they decided that my little sister would be the MOH. She is going to be 21 by the time of my wedding, so older than your little sister, but still. I think if she is the closest to you, you should definitely have her be your MOH.

If you would want your MOH to plan the bachlorette party, your little sister still could. It just would not be going out clubbing or something. She could plan the games and activities to do at the party at someone's house as well as delegate other bridesmaids to bring food or drinks (especially if you want alcohol). I think a 16 year old is 100% capable of that if that is what you are worried about. I'm sure your sister would love to do that for you as well as any other duties of a MOH you might expect. (like helping you shop for you wedding dress or whatnot. I mean, who doesn't want to go to a wedding dress store at the age of 16?)
Again, no. No one "has" to give a speech, or go dress shopping with you, unless they choose to do so, and whether or not they chose to do so has nothing to do with their position in your wedding. If those are your expectations, you need to revisit them.

Again, I said "IF". My gosh. Nit picking.

In my family, it is standard that there is a MOH speech and a best man speech at the wedding reception. My older sister knew that she wouldn't want to give a speech, so she said she didn't want to be MOH. She didn't want me to not have that part of the tradition because of her anxiety over public speaking, so between the two of them, they decided my younger sister would be MOH.

I agree that dress shopping is something that isn't required. However, if it is your sister and you two are very close, you may want her opinion on the dress for your big day. I don't think this is such a big deal because if it is the OP's younger sister who she is SO close to, I don't know why REALLY wanting her to come dress shopping would be an issue for the sister. I am sure her sister would WANT to go. As far as the party, again, if she is close, why would she not be happy to do this for her sister? My point is just because she isn't of legal drinking age doesn't mean she can't do X, Y, and Z to put together a bachlorette party.

You need to revisit how you spend your time if it is usually harassing someone and nit picking what they say on a website. Why is it that you are taking ONE thing I say in a post and criticizing? What is it that you are so unhappy about in your life that you have to do that? What I was saying to the OP had nothing to do with what you are saying anyways, so butt out.

@smhubbel My mouth actually dropped open when I read your post. So nope, it's not just @foundmymagicgeek "nitpicking." You are so far out of line my jaw physically dropped.

You had your sisters figure out which one was going to be MOH based on who could give a speech and fulfill duties???? I just can't get over that part.

manateehugger · August 2014

Your sister didn't want to be MOH because she knew your expectation of her giving a speech was giving her anxiety??? That's just so sad. Being MOH isn't about making speeches.

smhubbel · August 2014

JCbride2015 said:

smhubbel said:

foundmymagicgeek said:

My little sister is going to be my maid of honor! I am the middle of three daughters in my family. I didn't want to pick one sister over the other so I told them to discuss it and decide. My older sister hates public speaking, but my little sister like it. In the end, because the maid of honor gives a speech, they decided that my little sister would be the MOH. She is going to be 21 by the time of my wedding, so older than your little sister, but still. I think if she is the closest to you, you should definitely have her be your MOH.

If you would want your MOH to plan the bachlorette party, your little sister still could. It just would not be going out clubbing or something. She could plan the games and activities to do at the party at someone's house as well as delegate other bridesmaids to bring food or drinks (especially if you want alcohol). I think a 16 year old is 100% capable of that if that is what you are worried about. I'm sure your sister would love to do that for you as well as any other duties of a MOH you might expect. (like helping you shop for you wedding dress or whatnot. I mean, who doesn't want to go to a wedding dress store at the age of 16?)
Again, no. No one "has" to give a speech, or go dress shopping with you, unless they choose to do so, and whether or not they chose to do so has nothing to do with their position in your wedding. If those are your expectations, you need to revisit them.

Again, I said "IF". My gosh. Nit picking.

In my family, it is standard that there is a MOH speech and a best man speech at the wedding reception. My older sister knew that she wouldn't want to give a speech, so she said she didn't want to be MOH. She didn't want me to not have that part of the tradition because of her anxiety over public speaking, so between the two of them, they decided my younger sister would be MOH.

I agree that dress shopping is something that isn't required. However, if it is your sister and you two are very close, you may want her opinion on the dress for your big day. I don't think this is such a big deal because if it is the OP's younger sister who she is SO close to, I don't know why REALLY wanting her to come dress shopping would be an issue for the sister. I am sure her sister would WANT to go. As far as the party, again, if she is close, why would she not be happy to do this for her sister? My point is just because she isn't of legal drinking age doesn't mean she can't do X, Y, and Z to put together a bachlorette party.

You need to revisit how you spend your time if it is usually harassing someone and nit picking what they say on a website. Why is it that you are taking ONE thing I say in a post and criticizing? What is it that you are so unhappy about in your life that you have to do that? What I was saying to the OP had nothing to do with what you are saying anyways, so butt out.

@smhubbel My mouth actually dropped open when I read your post. So nope, it's not just @foundmymagicgeek "nitpicking." You are so far out of line my jaw physically dropped.

You had your sisters figure out which one was going to be MOH based on who could give a speech and fulfill duties???? I just can't get over that part.

No. I had my sisters decide between the two of them who should be the MOH or if they both wanted to, neither of them. This was only because I didn't want to pick one over the other because I did not want to hurt one sister's feelings by picking the other over her or hurt both of their feelings by picking someone else who I am not as close with. I made no mention of fulfilling duties or anything like that to them. THEY decided, based on the fact that my little sister would be more comfortable giving a speech for me, that she would be the MOH. They knew that this was usually something that the MOH did, so my little sister said she would be happy to do it while my older sister was not comfortable with the idea.

My goodness. I can't post anything without it being taken out of context, and I am made into a bitchy diva. I don't know why I have to explain myself for everything because one sentence is pulled apart and something is assumed from it that I completely didn't mean. I even have to explain my explanations.

By the way, I have not had any drama with my own wedding party and my "expectations" for them. They are happy to participate in what they have been asked to do so far, which has consisted of pretty much nothing. I haven't asked or expected anything. All they have done so far is just being excited for me originally when I told them I was engaged, giving feedback on BM dress ideas when I send them a picture online and ask if they would like to wear a dress like that, and telling me they really like the dress that I tried on and sent them a picture of. Oh yeah. I went to a wedding dress store without them. Didn't expect them to go. So how about we stop making assumptions about my "expectations" for my bridal party?

smhubbel · August 2014

flantastic said:

smhubbel said:

JCbride2015 said:

smhubbel said:

foundmymagicgeek said:

My little sister is going to be my maid of honor! I am the middle of three daughters in my family. I didn't want to pick one sister over the other so I told them to discuss it and decide. My older sister hates public speaking, but my little sister like it. In the end, because the maid of honor gives a speech, they decided that my little sister would be the MOH. She is going to be 21 by the time of my wedding, so older than your little sister, but still. I think if she is the closest to you, you should definitely have her be your MOH.

If you would want your MOH to plan the bachlorette party, your little sister still could. It just would not be going out clubbing or something. She could plan the games and activities to do at the party at someone's house as well as delegate other bridesmaids to bring food or drinks (especially if you want alcohol). I think a 16 year old is 100% capable of that if that is what you are worried about. I'm sure your sister would love to do that for you as well as any other duties of a MOH you might expect. (like helping you shop for you wedding dress or whatnot. I mean, who doesn't want to go to a wedding dress store at the age of 16?)
Again, no. No one "has" to give a speech, or go dress shopping with you, unless they choose to do so, and whether or not they chose to do so has nothing to do with their position in your wedding. If those are your expectations, you need to revisit them.

Again, I said "IF". My gosh. Nit picking.

In my family, it is standard that there is a MOH speech and a best man speech at the wedding reception. My older sister knew that she wouldn't want to give a speech, so she said she didn't want to be MOH. She didn't want me to not have that part of the tradition because of her anxiety over public speaking, so between the two of them, they decided my younger sister would be MOH.

I agree that dress shopping is something that isn't required. However, if it is your sister and you two are very close, you may want her opinion on the dress for your big day. I don't think this is such a big deal because if it is the OP's younger sister who she is SO close to, I don't know why REALLY wanting her to come dress shopping would be an issue for the sister. I am sure her sister would WANT to go. As far as the party, again, if she is close, why would she not be happy to do this for her sister? My point is just because she isn't of legal drinking age doesn't mean she can't do X, Y, and Z to put together a bachlorette party.

You need to revisit how you spend your time if it is usually harassing someone and nit picking what they say on a website. Why is it that you are taking ONE thing I say in a post and criticizing? What is it that you are so unhappy about in your life that you have to do that? What I was saying to the OP had nothing to do with what you are saying anyways, so butt out.

@smhubbel My mouth actually dropped open when I read your post. So nope, it's not just @foundmymagicgeek "nitpicking." You are so far out of line my jaw physically dropped.

You had your sisters figure out which one was going to be MOH based on who could give a speech and fulfill duties???? I just can't get over that part.

No. I had my sisters decide between the two of them who should be the MOH or if they both wanted to, neither of them. This was only because I didn't want to pick one over the other because I did not want to hurt one sister's feelings by picking the other over her or hurt both of their feelings by picking someone else who I am not as close with. I made no mention of fulfilling duties or anything like that to them. THEY decided, based on the fact that my little sister would be more comfortable giving a speech for me, that she would be the MOH. They knew that this was usually something that the MOH did, so my little sister said she would be happy to do it while my older sister was not comfortable with the idea.

My goodness. I can't post anything without it being taken out of context, and I am made into a bitchy diva. I don't know why I have to explain myself for everything because one sentence is pulled apart and something is assumed from it that I completely didn't mean. I even have to explain my explanations.

By the way, I have not had any drama with my own wedding party and my "expectations" for them. They are happy to participate in what they have been asked to do so far, which has consisted of pretty much nothing. I haven't asked or expected anything. All they have done so far is just being excited for me originally when I told them I was engaged, giving feedback on BM dress ideas when I send them a picture online and ask if they would like to wear a dress like that, and telling me they really like the dress that I tried on and sent them a picture of. Oh yeah. I went to a wedding dress store without them. Didn't expect them to go. So how about we stop making assumptions about my "expectations" for my bridal party?

This isn't that hard. You can also have 2 MOHs, and have only the one who's comfortable give a speech. Good Lord, overcomplications.

I gave that to them as an option. I asked if they both wanted to be MOH or if they wanted to decide between them who should do it, or neither of them had to. They decided that my little sister wanted to do it. I was fine. They were fine. Why does it matter to you?

smhubbel · August 2014

I forgot an "or". Here is what I meant to say:

I had my sisters decide between the two of them who should be the MOH, or if they both wanted to, or neither of them.

mysticl · August 2014

A friend of mine had her 10-year-old sister as MOH. The only "issue" with having a minor as MOH is that if you live in a state where you need witnesses to sign the marriage license you will need someone else to do that. However, it can be any adult who was present for the ceremony so that isn't really a big deal at all.

lovesclimbing · August 2014

My sisters MOH was 14.

bucksgirl414 · August 2014

Girl dont let people on here get you all upset!!! When someone comments something that makes you feel some sort of way just ignore it and keep it moving.

You know your traditions in your family so I feel picking the sister that wants to give the speech is fine. Its also fine to have two MOH. My FI is having his BF as a GM and his brother as his BM but hus BF is giving the speech.

So you do whatever makes you happy

mrsmagicgeek · August 2014

Anyone who wants to give a speech can, the point was just that it's not a responsibility of any particular role.

Viczaesar · August 2014

bucksgirl414 said:

Girl dont let people on here get you all upset!!! When someone comments something that makes you feel some sort of way just ignore it and keep it moving. You know your traditions in your family so I feel picking the sister that wants to give the speech is fine. Its also fine to have two MOH. My FI is having his BF as a GM and his brother as his BM but hus BF is giving the speech. So you do whatever makes you happy

Talk about being vague to the point of meaningless.

tcnoble · August 2014

MCM0W0 said:

Hello all,
Just wondering if its proper to have my younger sister who will be 15 or 16 at the time of wedding to be my Maid of Honor? We are extremely close and know we always will be. I do have friends my age (between 21-26), but I'm torn. I feel like its whoever is closest to me and that would be my sister. Thank you!

My sisters will be 19 and 16 for our wedding and both are my MOHs! I had similar reservations at first... That they're too young to "do wedding things" until the ladies here on TK brought me back to earth and reminded me what a MOHs "duties" are. My sisters have asked for guidance in wedding related things that they wanted to be a part of, but have also turned to my mother when they needed advice. But really, they just need to show up in a dress and have fun with me, which they are both capable of at their age

Little sister as Maid Of Honor?

Re: Little sister as Maid Of Honor?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards