Okay, I got annoyed with younger sister/my MOH yesterday. Here's what happened, via text:
Sis: Is ---- family (from our church) invited to your wedding?
Me: No, I barely ever talk to them. I don't think I've ever talked to the wife since she started going to church after I had left for college.
Sis: Oopsie. Well I definitely told them last week that they were invited and I had an invitation to give them.
Me (annoyed, but realizing it was a mistake): Okay, well then you can explain to them that it was a mistake and they aren't actually invited.
Sis: I'm not doing that. I'm sure you have some extra invitations, why don't you just invite them? They probably won't even come since they have young kids.
Me: The capacity of our venue is 170, and we already invited 181. We can't keep adding people. You can't just assume they won't come. (Yes, I know I broke a rule by inviting over capacity, but it's an OOT wedding so we were expecting a lot of declines and have already received a good number of them.)
Sis: Well I've seen the RSVPs coming in and I know you've already gotten 10 declines, so you should invite them.
Me: Okay, first of all, inviting more people based on declined responses is called 'b-listing' and is terribly rude. Second, why should I be forced to invite someone who I wasn't going to invite anyway, just because you made a mistake?
I was annoyed that she wouldn't own up to her mistake (or apologize) and wanted me to just fix it myself. Maybe I was being too harsh. But later, I called my mom about something unrelated and my mom said "Oh, there was an invite returned bc the address wasn't correct, so I was thinking about just taking the invite out, putting it in a new envelope, and giving it to (aforementioned) family since sis told them they were invited." I said, "WHAT! No, do NOT do that! That invite is for someone else, not --- family!"
Ugh I was so annoyed. To be honest, the family mentioned is a grown son of someone who is really close to our family, and I invited his parents. So that's why my mom and sis both feel like I should have invited the son and his family, since their whole family is pretty close to ours. But as mentioned, I never talk to the son or his wife. So I'm at a loss for what to do. FI completely agrees with me and says we shouldn't be forced to invite them, but now it's awkward since my sister already told them they were invited. I don't want to cause awkwardness between our families. So should I just suck it up and send them an invite? And stress to my sister NOT to tell anyone else they are invited if she isn't sure...