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Etiquette Mess

sarahuflsarahufl member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Y'all, I went to a wedding this weekend that was a hot mess of broken etiquette.

First, they included registry cards in their invites.

Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.

On Saturday, I offered to pitch in to decorate. It was me, my mom, 2 aunts, the MOG and nobody else. No bride, no groom, no bridal party, no coordinator. Nothing. It took us hours. They had a cash bar. Soda and water were THREE DOLLARS. My dad and I literally got glasses from the bar and went to the water fountain.

The DJ was not a professional, so he had my mom come help him arrange the bridal party. Mind you, my mom is in no way related to the bride or groom. He kept coming over to my mom asking what he should do next. There was roughly 45 minutes of toasting, EVERYONE in the bridal party toasted.

At the end of the night, I had to clean up.
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    sarahuflsarahufl member
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    martha1818 said:
    Sounds like a hot mess for sure. I'm wondering why on earth you would help clean up especially after paying for your own drinks all night?! If it were me I would have said no and simply walked out. Not your wedding, not your problem!
    @martha1818, Mainly because the MOG is a very good friend of mine. She was a huge help at my wedding merely three weeks ago. I knew that if I didn't pitch in, she would be there alone all night.
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    Liatris2010Liatris2010 mod
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    sarahufl said:
    martha1818 said:
    Sounds like a hot mess for sure. I'm wondering why on earth you would help clean up especially after paying for your own drinks all night?! If it were me I would have said no and simply walked out. Not your wedding, not your problem!
    martha1818, Mainly because the MOG is a very good friend of mine. She was a huge help at my wedding merely three weeks ago. I knew that if I didn't pitch in, she would be there alone all night.
    I have a hard time feeling sorry for people stuck cleaning up their own messes. I know at some point your kids are grown adults and they might "host" a tacky party, but can't you talk at least a little sense into them, or refuse to take part and just go home at the end of the night?
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    MegEn1MegEn1 member
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    Charging for water. That's ....

    I wonder what would have happened if someone had fainted or become dehydrated or something?!

    Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding! 
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    mimivacmimivac member
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    So I'm assuming then that they didn't have any staff from the catering service to clean. How horrible of the bride and groom to expect a parent to clean up after their wedding.

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    cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
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    edited August 2014

    Thats redonkulous....I mean seriously.  I applaude you for helping out the MOG.  As someone who just got married I wouldn't have dreamed of making anyone help me to clean up after the reception.  Between the catering staff and our Coordinator we were done and out within a half hour.  The only person who helped was me, my husband and the best man (Who volunteered!!!!)

     

    ETF: Spelling

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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    sarahufl said:
    Y'all, I went to a wedding this weekend that was a hot mess of broken etiquette.

    First, they included registry cards in their invites.   Meh, I don't think this is anywhere as big a deal as most ppl on this board think it is.

    Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.  This is terrible.

    On Saturday, I offered to pitch in to decorate. It was me, my mom, 2 aunts, the MOG and nobody else. No bride, no groom, no bridal party, no coordinator.   Um, why would the Bride and Groom decorate?  They were likely busy getting ready for the wedding.  Not that I don't think it was shitty that you guys were stuck doing it for 2 hours. . . but you and the MOG did offer to do it.  Nothing. It took us hours. They had a cash bar. Soda and water were THREE DOLLARS. My dad and I literally got glasses from the bar and went to the water fountain.   This is beyond shitty.

    The DJ was not a professional, so he had my mom come help him arrange the bridal party. Mind you, my mom is in no way related to the bride or groom. He kept coming over to my mom asking what he should do next. There was roughly 45 minutes of toasting, EVERYONE in the bridal party toasted.  Ugh.  Your Mom should have told him to go pester the Bride and groom.  And 45mins of toasting is INSANE!!!!  I don't think I could have sat through that shit.

    At the end of the night, I had to clean up.  No you didn't.  You should have just left!
    I'm sorry your friend's child's wedding was a shitshow, but you were super kind to help as much as you did.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sarahufl said:
    Y'all, I went to a wedding this weekend that was a hot mess of broken etiquette.

    First, they included registry cards in their invites.   Meh, I don't think this is anywhere as big a deal as most ppl on this board think it is.

    Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.  This is terrible.

    On Saturday, I offered to pitch in to decorate. It was me, my mom, 2 aunts, the MOG and nobody else. No bride, no groom, no bridal party, no coordinator.   Um, why would the Bride and Groom decorate?  They were likely busy getting ready for the wedding.  Not that I don't think it was shitty that you guys were stuck doing it for 2 hours. . . but you and the MOG did offer to do it.  Nothing. It took us hours. They had a cash bar. Soda and water were THREE DOLLARS. My dad and I literally got glasses from the bar and went to the water fountain.   This is beyond shitty.

    The DJ was not a professional, so he had my mom come help him arrange the bridal party. Mind you, my mom is in no way related to the bride or groom. He kept coming over to my mom asking what he should do next. There was roughly 45 minutes of toasting, EVERYONE in the bridal party toasted.  Ugh.  Your Mom should have told him to go pester the Bride and groom.  And 45mins of toasting is INSANE!!!!  I don't think I could have sat through that shit.

    At the end of the night, I had to clean up.  No you didn't.  You should have just left!
    I'm sorry your friend's child's wedding was a shitshow, but you were super kind to help as much as you did.
    @prettygirllost- I decorated at my own wedding. Either hire someone to do it, or do it yourself but don't expect others to do it.
    She didn't expect you to do it though, you offered.  And it sounds like the MOG offered as well.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sarahufl said:
    Y'all, I went to a wedding this weekend that was a hot mess of broken etiquette.

    First, they included registry cards in their invites.   Meh, I don't think this is anywhere as big a deal as most ppl on this board think it is.

    Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.  This is terrible.

    On Saturday, I offered to pitch in to decorate. It was me, my mom, 2 aunts, the MOG and nobody else. No bride, no groom, no bridal party, no coordinator.   Um, why would the Bride and Groom decorate?  They were likely busy getting ready for the wedding.  Not that I don't think it was shitty that you guys were stuck doing it for 2 hours. . . but you and the MOG did offer to do it.  Nothing. It took us hours. They had a cash bar. Soda and water were THREE DOLLARS. My dad and I literally got glasses from the bar and went to the water fountain.   This is beyond shitty.

    The DJ was not a professional, so he had my mom come help him arrange the bridal party. Mind you, my mom is in no way related to the bride or groom. He kept coming over to my mom asking what he should do next. There was roughly 45 minutes of toasting, EVERYONE in the bridal party toasted.  Ugh.  Your Mom should have told him to go pester the Bride and groom.  And 45mins of toasting is INSANE!!!!  I don't think I could have sat through that shit.

    At the end of the night, I had to clean up.  No you didn't.  You should have just left!
    I'm sorry your friend's child's wedding was a shitshow, but you were super kind to help as much as you did.
    @prettygirllost- I decorated at my own wedding. Either hire someone to do it, or do it yourself but don't expect others to do it.
    Ditto! I decorated before the rehearsal. DH actually did the centerpieces all by himself the morning of the wedding - they were simple, but we weren't pawning that off of someone. We don't have minions or anything cool like that...
    image
    image
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    edited August 2014
    photokitty said:
    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sarahufl said:
    Y'all, I went to a wedding this weekend that was a hot mess of broken etiquette.

    First, they included registry cards in their invites.   Meh, I don't think this is anywhere as big a deal as most ppl on this board think it is.

    Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.  This is terrible.

    On Saturday, I offered to pitch in to decorate. It was me, my mom, 2 aunts, the MOG and nobody else. No bride, no groom, no bridal party, no coordinator.   Um, why would the Bride and Groom decorate?  They were likely busy getting ready for the wedding.  Not that I don't think it was shitty that you guys were stuck doing it for 2 hours. . . but you and the MOG did offer to do it.  Nothing. It took us hours. They had a cash bar. Soda and water were THREE DOLLARS. My dad and I literally got glasses from the bar and went to the water fountain.   This is beyond shitty.

    The DJ was not a professional, so he had my mom come help him arrange the bridal party. Mind you, my mom is in no way related to the bride or groom. He kept coming over to my mom asking what he should do next. There was roughly 45 minutes of toasting, EVERYONE in the bridal party toasted.  Ugh.  Your Mom should have told him to go pester the Bride and groom.  And 45mins of toasting is INSANE!!!!  I don't think I could have sat through that shit.

    At the end of the night, I had to clean up.  No you didn't.  You should have just left!
    I'm sorry your friend's child's wedding was a shitshow, but you were super kind to help as much as you did.
    @prettygirllost- I decorated at my own wedding. Either hire someone to do it, or do it yourself but don't expect others to do it.
    Ditto! I decorated before the rehearsal. DH actually did the centerpieces all by himself the morning of the wedding - they were simple, but we weren't pawning that off of someone. We don't have minions or anything cool like that...
    image
    image
    She said in her OP that she offered to help.  She didn't say the couple asked her too.

    I'm not trying to be mean or pick on her or be harsh, but I'm not going to validate someone feeling put out for offering to help someone.  If you don't want to do something, you say I'm sorry I can't.  Likewise, if you are going to offer to help someone, just do it.  Don't gripe about it later. KWIM?

    She offered to help the bride and groom I presume because she is good friends with the MOG.  And I presume the MOG offered to help her son by decorating.  Or maybe he asked her to and she accepted.  That's fine.

    Maybe the Groom voluntold his mom to decorate, in which case that is shitty.  But I don't think there is anything wrong with a person offering to help a friend with a wedding related task.

    ETA: I don't have minions either, but I have family and friends who have offered to help set up the centerpieces for me, and I accepted their offer.  I will not have time to do it myself before the reception, and I will be giving them all a gift after the wedding to thank them for their help.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    sarahuflsarahufl member
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    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sarahufl said:
    Y'all, I went to a wedding this weekend that was a hot mess of broken etiquette.

    First, they included registry cards in their invites.   Meh, I don't think this is anywhere as big a deal as most ppl on this board think it is.

    Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.  This is terrible.

    On Saturday, I offered to pitch in to decorate. It was me, my mom, 2 aunts, the MOG and nobody else. No bride, no groom, no bridal party, no coordinator.   Um, why would the Bride and Groom decorate?  They were likely busy getting ready for the wedding.  Not that I don't think it was shitty that you guys were stuck doing it for 2 hours. . . but you and the MOG did offer to do it.  Nothing. It took us hours. They had a cash bar. Soda and water were THREE DOLLARS. My dad and I literally got glasses from the bar and went to the water fountain.   This is beyond shitty.

    The DJ was not a professional, so he had my mom come help him arrange the bridal party. Mind you, my mom is in no way related to the bride or groom. He kept coming over to my mom asking what he should do next. There was roughly 45 minutes of toasting, EVERYONE in the bridal party toasted.  Ugh.  Your Mom should have told him to go pester the Bride and groom.  And 45mins of toasting is INSANE!!!!  I don't think I could have sat through that shit.

    At the end of the night, I had to clean up.  No you didn't.  You should have just left!
    I'm sorry your friend's child's wedding was a shitshow, but you were super kind to help as much as you did.
    @prettygirllost- I decorated at my own wedding. Either hire someone to do it, or do it yourself but don't expect others to do it.
    She didn't expect you to do it though, you offered.  And it sounds like the MOG offered as well.
    @prettygirllost Sure, it is true that I offered. But only because I knew that it wouldn't be done otherwise. When you care about someone (as I care about the MOG), you recognize that if someone doesn't do it, it won't happen. I would rather do it than have the bride show up to her own reception with no decorations because she and her husband were poor planners.

    Doesn't make it any less rude.
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    sarahuflsarahufl member
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    PrettyGirlLost said:
    photokitty said:
    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sarahufl said:
    Y'all, I went to a wedding this weekend that was a hot mess of broken etiquette.

    First, they included registry cards in their invites.   Meh, I don't think this is anywhere as big a deal as most ppl on this board think it is.

    Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.  This is terrible.

    On Saturday, I offered to pitch in to decorate. It was me, my mom, 2 aunts, the MOG and nobody else. No bride, no groom, no bridal party, no coordinator.   Um, why would the Bride and Groom decorate?  They were likely busy getting ready for the wedding.  Not that I don't think it was shitty that you guys were stuck doing it for 2 hours. . . but you and the MOG did offer to do it.  Nothing. It took us hours. They had a cash bar. Soda and water were THREE DOLLARS. My dad and I literally got glasses from the bar and went to the water fountain.   This is beyond shitty.

    The DJ was not a professional, so he had my mom come help him arrange the bridal party. Mind you, my mom is in no way related to the bride or groom. He kept coming over to my mom asking what he should do next. There was roughly 45 minutes of toasting, EVERYONE in the bridal party toasted.  Ugh.  Your Mom should have told him to go pester the Bride and groom.  And 45mins of toasting is INSANE!!!!  I don't think I could have sat through that shit.

    At the end of the night, I had to clean up.  No you didn't.  You should have just left!
    I'm sorry your friend's child's wedding was a shitshow, but you were super kind to help as much as you did.
    @prettygirllost- I decorated at my own wedding. Either hire someone to do it, or do it yourself but don't expect others to do it.
    Ditto! I decorated before the rehearsal. DH actually did the centerpieces all by himself the morning of the wedding - they were simple, but we weren't pawning that off of someone. We don't have minions or anything cool like that...
    image
    image
    She said in her OP that she offered to help.  She didn't say the couple asked her too.

    I'm not trying to be mean or pick on her or be harsh, but I'm not going to validate someone feeling put out for offering to help someone.  If you don't want to do something, you say I'm sorry I can't.  Likewise, if you are going to offer to help someone, just do it.  Don't gripe about it later. KWIM?

    She offered to help the bride and groom I presume because she is good friends with the MOG.  And I presume the MOG offered to help her son by decorating.  Or maybe he asked her to and she accepted.  That's fine.

    Maybe the Groom voluntold his mom to decorate, in which case that is shitty.  But I don't think there is anything wrong with a person offering to help a friend with a wedding related task.
    Everyone was voluntold to help. I will put it out there that I always volunteer for my friends. I like helping. What I don't like doing is letting people take advantage of it. Every other wedding I have helped with, the bride and groom were also present or there was sufficient help otherwise.

    The couple planned a wedding they couldn't properly host. When it came down to it, the MOG and her friends had to swoop in and do everything the couple didn't take care of. People were coming to the wedding and, at that point, there was nothing that could be done to stop it.
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sarahufl said:
    Y'all, I went to a wedding this weekend that was a hot mess of broken etiquette.

    First, they included registry cards in their invites.   Meh, I don't think this is anywhere as big a deal as most ppl on this board think it is.

    Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.  This is terrible.

    On Saturday, I offered to pitch in to decorate. It was me, my mom, 2 aunts, the MOG and nobody else. No bride, no groom, no bridal party, no coordinator.   Um, why would the Bride and Groom decorate?  They were likely busy getting ready for the wedding.  Not that I don't think it was shitty that you guys were stuck doing it for 2 hours. . . but you and the MOG did offer to do it.  Nothing. It took us hours. They had a cash bar. Soda and water were THREE DOLLARS. My dad and I literally got glasses from the bar and went to the water fountain.   This is beyond shitty.

    The DJ was not a professional, so he had my mom come help him arrange the bridal party. Mind you, my mom is in no way related to the bride or groom. He kept coming over to my mom asking what he should do next. There was roughly 45 minutes of toasting, EVERYONE in the bridal party toasted.  Ugh.  Your Mom should have told him to go pester the Bride and groom.  And 45mins of toasting is INSANE!!!!  I don't think I could have sat through that shit.

    At the end of the night, I had to clean up.  No you didn't.  You should have just left!
    I'm sorry your friend's child's wedding was a shitshow, but you were super kind to help as much as you did.
    @prettygirllost- I decorated at my own wedding. Either hire someone to do it, or do it yourself but don't expect others to do it.
    She didn't expect you to do it though, you offered.  And it sounds like the MOG offered as well.
    @prettygirllost Sure, it is true that I offered. But only because I knew that it wouldn't be done otherwise. When you care about someone (as I care about the MOG), you recognize that if someone doesn't do it, it won't happen. I would rather do it than have the bride show up to her own reception with no decorations because she and her husband were poor planners.

    Doesn't make it any less rude.
    I still don't see what the couple did as rude.

    They didn't voluntell you to do anything.  That is rude.

    People on this board have a very strange view as to what is rude with regards to helping with wedding tasks.  It seems most of you feel like couples should never, ever ask anyone to help them with anything wedding related, and to do so in and of itself is rude.  Sorry, I don't buy that.  I don't think asking for help with a wedding related task is any more rude than asking for help with a move, asking for a favor in a pinch, etc.

    You (general) can always decline to help.

    The bolded is why you are a very kind person and a good friend.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its


    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    photokitty said:
    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sarahufl said:
    Y'all, I went to a wedding this weekend that was a hot mess of broken etiquette.

    First, they included registry cards in their invites.   Meh, I don't think this is anywhere as big a deal as most ppl on this board think it is.

    Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.  This is terrible.

    On Saturday, I offered to pitch in to decorate. It was me, my mom, 2 aunts, the MOG and nobody else. No bride, no groom, no bridal party, no coordinator.   Um, why would the Bride and Groom decorate?  They were likely busy getting ready for the wedding.  Not that I don't think it was shitty that you guys were stuck doing it for 2 hours. . . but you and the MOG did offer to do it.  Nothing. It took us hours. They had a cash bar. Soda and water were THREE DOLLARS. My dad and I literally got glasses from the bar and went to the water fountain.   This is beyond shitty.

    The DJ was not a professional, so he had my mom come help him arrange the bridal party. Mind you, my mom is in no way related to the bride or groom. He kept coming over to my mom asking what he should do next. There was roughly 45 minutes of toasting, EVERYONE in the bridal party toasted.  Ugh.  Your Mom should have told him to go pester the Bride and groom.  And 45mins of toasting is INSANE!!!!  I don't think I could have sat through that shit.

    At the end of the night, I had to clean up.  No you didn't.  You should have just left!
    I'm sorry your friend's child's wedding was a shitshow, but you were super kind to help as much as you did.
    @prettygirllost- I decorated at my own wedding. Either hire someone to do it, or do it yourself but don't expect others to do it.
    Ditto! I decorated before the rehearsal. DH actually did the centerpieces all by himself the morning of the wedding - they were simple, but we weren't pawning that off of someone. We don't have minions or anything cool like that...
    image
    image
    She said in her OP that she offered to help.  She didn't say the couple asked her too.

    I'm not trying to be mean or pick on her or be harsh, but I'm not going to validate someone feeling put out for offering to help someone.  If you don't want to do something, you say I'm sorry I can't.  Likewise, if you are going to offer to help someone, just do it.  Don't gripe about it later. KWIM?

    She offered to help the bride and groom I presume because she is good friends with the MOG.  And I presume the MOG offered to help her son by decorating.  Or maybe he asked her to and she accepted.  That's fine.

    Maybe the Groom voluntold his mom to decorate, in which case that is shitty.  But I don't think there is anything wrong with a person offering to help a friend with a wedding related task.
    Everyone was voluntold to help. I will put it out there that I always volunteer for my friends. I like helping. What I don't like doing is letting people take advantage of it. Every other wedding I have helped with, the bride and groom were also present or there was sufficient help otherwise.

    The couple planned a wedding they couldn't properly host. When it came down to it, the MOG and her friends had to swoop in and do everything the couple didn't take care of. People were coming to the wedding and, at that point, there was nothing that could be done to stop it.
    I'm confused. 

    Did the bride and groom actually ask you or voluntell you and the MOG to help?  Or did you and the MOG step in to help them when you saw that they hadn't properly planned for the set up. . . AKA you both realized that no one was hired to set up?

    I agree that no one should ever be taken advantage of for their genorosity in helping others. 

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    sarahuflsarahufl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    PrettyGirlLost said:


    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    photokitty said:
    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sarahufl said:
    Y'all, I went to a wedding this weekend that was a hot mess of broken etiquette.

    First, they included registry cards in their invites.   Meh, I don't think this is anywhere as big a deal as most ppl on this board think it is.

    Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.  This is terrible.

    On Saturday, I offered to pitch in to decorate. It was me, my mom, 2 aunts, the MOG and nobody else. No bride, no groom, no bridal party, no coordinator.   Um, why would the Bride and Groom decorate?  They were likely busy getting ready for the wedding.  Not that I don't think it was shitty that you guys were stuck doing it for 2 hours. . . but you and the MOG did offer to do it.  Nothing. It took us hours. They had a cash bar. Soda and water were THREE DOLLARS. My dad and I literally got glasses from the bar and went to the water fountain.   This is beyond shitty.

    The DJ was not a professional, so he had my mom come help him arrange the bridal party. Mind you, my mom is in no way related to the bride or groom. He kept coming over to my mom asking what he should do next. There was roughly 45 minutes of toasting, EVERYONE in the bridal party toasted.  Ugh.  Your Mom should have told him to go pester the Bride and groom.  And 45mins of toasting is INSANE!!!!  I don't think I could have sat through that shit.

    At the end of the night, I had to clean up.  No you didn't.  You should have just left!
    I'm sorry your friend's child's wedding was a shitshow, but you were super kind to help as much as you did.
    @prettygirllost- I decorated at my own wedding. Either hire someone to do it, or do it yourself but don't expect others to do it.
    Ditto! I decorated before the rehearsal. DH actually did the centerpieces all by himself the morning of the wedding - they were simple, but we weren't pawning that off of someone. We don't have minions or anything cool like that...
    image
    image
    She said in her OP that she offered to help.  She didn't say the couple asked her too.

    I'm not trying to be mean or pick on her or be harsh, but I'm not going to validate someone feeling put out for offering to help someone.  If you don't want to do something, you say I'm sorry I can't.  Likewise, if you are going to offer to help someone, just do it.  Don't gripe about it later. KWIM?

    She offered to help the bride and groom I presume because she is good friends with the MOG.  And I presume the MOG offered to help her son by decorating.  Or maybe he asked her to and she accepted.  That's fine.

    Maybe the Groom voluntold his mom to decorate, in which case that is shitty.  But I don't think there is anything wrong with a person offering to help a friend with a wedding related task.
    Everyone was voluntold to help. I will put it out there that I always volunteer for my friends. I like helping. What I don't like doing is letting people take advantage of it. Every other wedding I have helped with, the bride and groom were also present or there was sufficient help otherwise.

    The couple planned a wedding they couldn't properly host. When it came down to it, the MOG and her friends had to swoop in and do everything the couple didn't take care of. People were coming to the wedding and, at that point, there was nothing that could be done to stop it.
    I'm confused. 

    Did the bride and groom actually ask you or voluntell you and the MOG to help?  Or did you and the MOG step in to help them when you saw that they hadn't properly planned for the set up. . . AKA you both realized that no one was hired to set up?

    I agree that no one should ever be taken advantage of for their genorosity in helping others. 

    SIB:
    @prettygirllost- actually, neither the bride nor the groom asked. The MOG did, because she figured out they had done nothing and had not hired help. I don't know what transpired between the groom and MOG.
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:

    Everyone was voluntold to help. I will put it out there that I always volunteer for my friends. I like helping. What I don't like doing is letting people take advantage of it. Every other wedding I have helped with, the bride and groom were also present or there was sufficient help otherwise.

    I'm confused. 

    Did the bride and groom actually ask you or voluntell you and the MOG to help?  Or did you and the MOG step in to help them when you saw that they hadn't properly planned for the set up. . . AKA you both realized that no one was hired to set up?

    I agree that no one should ever be taken advantage of for their genorosity in helping others. 

    SIB:
    @prettygirllost- actually, neither the bride nor the groom asked. The MOG did, because she figured out they had done nothing and had not hired help. I don't know what transpired between the groom and MOG.
    Ok, so the couple didn't actually ask or voluntell you to do anything.

    Look, the way I see it, they fucked up.  Fucking up isn't inherently rude.  MOG saw that they fucked up and came in to help.  She asked you for your help because you guys are firends.  You accepted to help.

    I still don't see that the bride and groom where rude to you in this instance.  I think you and MOG saved their asses, yes, but I don't think they were rude.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    martha1818 said:
    OP, did you at least get a thank you (verbally or via note), apology, something from the bride and groom to acknowledge that you majorly helped them out?
    Yeah, if they don't acknowledge the huge favor you did for them, then they are being rude as hell!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    sarahuflsarahufl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    martha1818 said:
    OP, did you at least get a thank you (verbally or via note), apology, something from the bride and groom to acknowledge that you majorly helped them out?
    Yeah, if they don't acknowledge the huge favor you did for them, then they are being rude as hell!
    The bride said thank you. Not a word from the groom, who- by the way, I have known his entire life.
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    huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
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    @sarahufl

    I'm confused by this comment: "Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.

    So were you b listed, or did they just send out their invites super late? How do you know it wasn't lost in the mail?
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    sarahuflsarahufl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2014
    huskypuppy14 said:
    @sarahufl

    I'm confused by this comment: "Second, I got the invite on July 23 for an August 16 wedding. RSVP deadline? July 26th. It was not lost in the mail, I am close to the family and I know when they mailed them, etc.

    So were you b listed, or did they just send out their invites super late? How do you know it wasn't lost in the mail?
    huskypuppy14- They sent them super late. We weren't B-listed, they just mailed them really late. My wedding was three weeks prior, so the MOG was talking to me a lot about our wedding planning, so she told me the day they put them in the mail.
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    novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Um $3 for water at a wedding? Are you kidding? Even restaurants have free water. That's the worst shit I've ever heard. 
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    martha1818 said:
    OP, did you at least get a thank you (verbally or via note), apology, something from the bride and groom to acknowledge that you majorly helped them out?
    Yeah, if they don't acknowledge the huge favor you did for them, then they are being rude as hell!
    sarahufl said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    martha1818 said:
    OP, did you at least get a thank you (verbally or via note), apology, something from the bride and groom to acknowledge that you majorly helped them out?
    Yeah, if they don't acknowledge the huge favor you did for them, then they are being rude as hell!
    The bride said thank you. Not a word from the groom, who- by the way, I have known his entire life.
    That is just garbage and super, super rude.

    I'm sorry.  I would be hurt too :/

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2014
    For $3, I hope that water was personally taken from the fresh natural springs of Fiji to be served at the wedding. GEEZ!

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    mimivacmimivac member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    pinkcow13 said:
    For $3, I hope that water was personally taken from the fresh natural springs of Fiji to be served at the wedding. GEEZ!
     

    I would have asked for tap water, and brought a flask. Damn.
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