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Ceremony

Knottie96704796Knottie96704796 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So we've decided on a small ceremony and reception for 100 people. We were able to make the 100 cut but what do we do if other people show up who didn't receive a ceremony invite? (word of mouth, children of family, etc.) our venue has made it clear that they will NOT add any chair or plates for additional people. In addition, to add an extra 50 plates just in case would cost us another $2,000 which we are not willing to pay for. HELP!
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Re: Ceremony

  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    When sending out invites, you can have a line that states "___ seats have been reserved in your honor". You fill in the blank with the number you want for each person/couple. So, the guest reading the invite/RSVP already knows they have x number of seats allotted to them.

     







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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Make sure you collect RSVPs, call people who don't get their responses in in time, and correct anyone who makes incorrect assumptions regarding your invitations.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited August 2014
    If anyone RSVPs for more people than you invited, you call them and tell them, "Unfortunately, there's a misunderstanding.  Our invitation was only for [the listed guests].  We hope you can still come and look forward to seeing you, but we aren't able to provide seats, food, or drinks for any guests not listed on the invitations." 

    Also, if you have security and/or a DOC and/or your venue has an event coordinator on its staff, give them a heads-up that uninvited guests may show up and let them deal with it if they do.
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  • mellyD2014mellyD2014 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Jells2dot0 said:
    When sending out invites, you can have a line that states "___ seats have been reserved in your honor". You fill in the blank with the number you want for each person/couple. So, the guest reading the invite/RSVP already knows they have x number of seats allotted to them.
    I second this - we also worded our RSVP cards this way and there was zero confusion on anyone's part. It was probably one of the best ideas we stumbled across over the last year of wedding planning.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2014
    People who show up to a reception without invitation are called "wedding crashers."  Church ceremonies are usually open to members.
    Simply address your invitations to the people who are invited to your ceremony and reception.  It would be rude to mail an invitation to someone who is not invited to both!
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  • auriannaaurianna member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Knottie96704796 said:
    So we've decided on a small ceremony and reception for 100 people. We were able to make the 100 cut but what do we do if other people show up who didn't receive a ceremony invite? (word of mouth, children of family, etc.) our venue has made it clear that they will NOT add any chair or plates for additional people. In addition, to add an extra 50 plates just in case would cost us another $2,000 which we are not willing to pay for. HELP!
    I'm confused.
    Who are these 50 extra people? Why do you think they'd think they can come without an invite?

    Also you say small ceremony and "ceremony invite." Are you splitting it up somehow and not inviting everyone to both things?
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    Who do you think will be inviting all of these people by word of mouth? As PP's pointed out, there are etiquette approved ways of indicating on the invitations who is invited (i.e. Mr. and Mrs. Michael Smith, we have reserved 2 seats in your honor, etc). If anyone RSVP's for more, you may politely call and indicate that the invite was only for the individuals listed. Hire a DOC/security if you think wedding crashing will happen.

    Don't allow people access to your invitations if that's also a concern. There have been a few brides here who have left invitations at their future IL's or at their parent's house only to have the parent photo copy and pass around the invitation. Some of them couldn't even give their parents/IL's an invitation because they knew that would happen. Sounds insane, but it has happened.


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  • Knottie96704796Knottie96704796 member
    First Comment
    This is a really good idea! Thank you so much!
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  • Knottie96704796Knottie96704796 member
    First Comment
    Yes we have a ceremony/cocktail hr/ dinner reception which only allows 100, then the dance which allows up to 300 so we had to cut down our ceremony list by a lot.
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  • PineapplePopsiclesPineapplePopsicles member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Knottie96704796 said:
    Yes we have a ceremony/cocktail hr/ dinner reception which only allows 100, then the dance which allows up to 300 so we had to cut down our ceremony list by a lot.
    don't do this.
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  • PineapplePopsiclesPineapplePopsicles member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Knottie96704796 said:
    Yes we have a ceremony/cocktail hr/ dinner reception which only allows 100, then the dance which allows up to 300 so we had to cut down our ceremony list by a lot.
    Ok, ok ok.  "The dance" isn't a separate event.  It is part of your reception, which you have said can only allow 100 people.  Why do you think the dance "allows" 300?  Space?  Is it at a different location? 
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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Please dont invite 200 to come party with you after you've treated 100 other guests to the honor of attending your ceremony and treating them to cocktails & dinner afterwards. What a slap in the face to those 200 people, you are quite literally telling them that they aren't good enough.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie96704796 said:
    Yes we have a ceremony/cocktail hr/ dinner reception which only allows 100, then the dance which allows up to 300 so we had to cut down our ceremony list by a lot.
    Nope. Nope. Nope.  This is called a tiered wedding and is incredibly rude.  


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