Wedding Etiquette Forum

After party at a bar?

I'm trying to decide out what to do about our RD. I know it's terribly rude to ask guests to pay for anything themselves at an event that is supposed to be hosted, and I'm trying to avoid that. Due to budget constraints we're having a dry RD (because we will NOT have a cash bar) at a restaurant near our venue. At FILs' request we are doing a nice sit-down dinner, but would love to have some time afterward to just mingle with guests, and I know some of our guests will want to drink.

Since the restaurant is right down the street from our favorite beer bar, I was thinking of spreading the word that we'll be heading over there after dinner and that everyone is welcome to come. If we did this, would we be considered "hosting" and be expected to pick up the tab? Would it be rude to assume that guests who choose to come to the bar afterward would pay for their drinks?
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Re: After party at a bar?

  • I think you're fine as long as it's just informal and word of mouth. I think this is a 'know your crowd' thing. It would be totally fine in my circle.
  • I think that's totally acceptable as long as you are changing venues after dinner (which you are) Just informally let everyone know after dinner you will be at your favorite bar and anyone is welcome to meet you guys if they should choose.
  • Totally fine. After our wedding, we told a couple people what bar we were planning on heading to. It made it's way through the grapevine, and those who wanted to come, joined us (and were under no impression that we were "hosting" anything once there).
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  • Yup, totally fine. We did this for out engagement party, spread the word that we would be heading to a bar in the city, and the people that joined knew this was not a hosted event. 
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  • We had an un-hosted meet up for out-of-town friends and family at a bar after our rehearsal dinner. We just mentioned to people at the RD that we would be at the hotel bar (where RD and wedding were located and most guests were staying) at Y time that evening if they would like to join us. I sent a few texts to friends who were coming in that evening, but wouldn't make it to the RD, to let them know the same.
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  • We are going the same thing. We will be having an afternoon wedding. My FI and I wanted to do something that night so we will be spreading it through the grape vine that we are going to this place afterwards if anyone would like to come.

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