Answered

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

kayelenehicks said:
My fiance's sister just had a little boy and he wants him to some how be in the wedding (which I am all for) he will be a year and a half by the time the wedding comes along. My question is, how should we incorporate him without having someone else "share their spot"? I was thinking about having him carry a sign with a cute saying down the isle while someone pulls him in a wagon. Ideas? Thanks everyone!

1.5 years old is too young. The kid doesn't care and your FSIL doesn't have a say in the WP, so all signs point to no IMO. Also, dragging a kid in a wagon isn't safe

PineapplePopsicles · August 2014

i agree. too young, and the wagon idea is cute on pinterest - but who pulls it? Another kid? you don't want someone to share their spot, so is an adult going to pull it? Just take some pictures with him and be done.

Maggie0829 · August 2014

Have him in pictures and be done with it.

Jen4948 · August 2014

Let me get this straight: You expect a 1 year old to be pulled in a wagon and carry signs in your wedding? Forget about all the "cuteness" and "inclusion" here and think about the logistics. Then realize that it isn't practical.

He's not old enough or big enough to understand what you're expecting him to do, let alone remember it later or even carry it out. And what if the wagon tips over going up or down the aisle? If he can't make it on his own, he's too small. And how can a 1 year old carry a sign?

Just have him in photos and let it go at that. No signs, no wagons. He'll still be "cute" and he'll still be "included."

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful · August 2014

If you want him in the wedding party then I'm not saying don't have him, I'm just saying don't expect anything from him. My niece will be almost 2 at the time of my wedding. She will be a flower girl and I don't expect much but she will look cute in her dress. If she wants to run down the aisle, fine, if she wants her dad to carry her, fine, if she doesn't want to do anything, fine. I have no expectations (also I'll still be in the back of the church and won't see what happens anyway). If she's in a mood to be in pictures then great and if not that's ok too. I think it's just too young to expect anything out of them. You also don't know if they will get nervous and scared of being around so many people at once and have a meltdown. Just have him dress up cute and see what happens.

climbingsingle · August 2014

1.5 is way too young for that.

peachy13 · August 2014

Is your fiance's sister in your wedding? You could have your nephew be a ring bearer and then she could walk him down the aisle (or carry him in case he's unwilling to move) and I'm sure she wouldn't mind sharing her spot with her son.

OliveOilsMom · August 2014

My nephew was 2 when I married. He was my RB, but I had no expectations of him. At the rehersal, he was more than happy to play in the quiet room in church. So I figured day of, he would be doing the same thing. He was still my RB even though he didn't walk down the aisle. He was listed in the program as a RB. I gave him a gift for being a RB too. After the ceremony he was in family pictures and one picture with myself and my other niece and nephew.

When my sister married last October, my latest niece was 4 months. There is an adorable photo of my sister holding our niece. She attended the wedding as a guest and that was special too.

Jen4948 · August 2014

peachy13 said:

Is your fiance's sister in your wedding? You could have your nephew be a ring bearer and then she could walk him down the aisle (or carry him in case he's unwilling to move) and I'm sure she wouldn't mind sharing her spot with her son.

If this is necessary for him to participate, I'd say he's too young.

PrettyGirlLost · August 2014

Check with your ceremony venue because most places do not allow the use of wagons for liability reasons.

I'd forgo the wagon and cutesy, over done signs and just take pictures with him after the ceremony.

holyguacamole79 · August 2014

Ditto PPs. Also, OP, change your screenname. Internet privacy is smart.

vmj23 · August 2014

I had a 6 month old nephew at the time of my wedding. the rest of my niece and nephews were in the wedding, but he was not. My sis in law still coordinated him to the rest of the kids and he was in the pictures with us. that was good enough for a kid of that age.

sarahufl · August 2014

One of my favorite photos from my wedding is me holding my three nieces in their huge, fancy dresses.

The oldest (2.5) was told she could walk down the aisle if she felt like it. She didn't feel like it, so she sat with my brother. She did recess out of the church with us - apparently, she decided it looked fun, so she hopped in with my SIL who was a BM.

IMO, 1.5 is way too young. But that doesn't mean you can't dress him up cute for a nice photo.

atlastmrsg · August 2014

Take photos that include him.

Other than that, a child in that age range is destined to be tired or have a meltdown. Minimizing his roll will minimize your/your DOC/your planner's stress level wedding day.

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

OP, you were quoted, so no need to delete. This is a great question that can help others in the same situation:

thisismynickname2 · August 2014

I came for the DD!

One wedding I attended last year had the happy couple's 1.5 year old daughter as a flower girl. A bridesmaid awkwardly walked her down the aisle but it was cute. Since the couple tried to incorporate her into their vows, the bride held her for a little while but she started crying. No biggie.

PPs are spot on. Just don't have any expectations that the child is going to behave like anything but a toddler.

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