Bridezilla?

naturebride canada · August 2014

Ok so I was just the MOH in a friends wedding and had a horrible experience in my books, however wanted some feedback on whether or not I am being too sensitive. I have a 9 month old baby who is my world right now, and the bride has only seen my baby a handful of times, let alone formed any sort of a relationship with my daughter. Every time we talked it was about the wedding and nothing else. I found myself being resentful of this, especially as she included my daughter as a "honorary" flower girl, without even asking if that was ok! I think it is very fake of her to include my daughter as "prop" in her wedding when she hasn't even bothered to put in any time in getting to know her!! Ok so now some of the highlights: 1) Told all bridesmaids they couldn't have a braid in their hair as she was to have the only braid 2) Made all bridesmaids purchase long dresses, then changed her mind and had us all pay for alterations to have them shortened 3) Made her caterer go to a restaurant to sample the pulled pork so they could match the taste because the caterer's version was not "savory" enough 4) Was very vocal about FMIL's dress choice and made her family feel bad because the dress didn't match the wedding colours 5) Purchased 2 bottles of nail polish that all 6 bridesmaids had to share so that we could all have exactly matching toenails 6) Acted like an entitled you-know-what at her bachelorette party, waving her cup around for people to refill her drink and then not saying thank you (and other similar behaviour) 7) Yelling at and being rude to the photographer to the point where her mother was apologizing for her behaviour 8) Yelling at the florist for the bouquets being too small and the fact that there were roses in her bouquet (the flowers were quite lovely IMHO) 9) Snubbed me royally in her thank you speech despite me planning and footing the entire bill for a beautiful shower I threw for her, an awesome weekend bachelorette party in another town (which I footed most of the bill and planned), organized and paid for wedding day brunch and mimosas, helped with DIY crafts, setting up her entire venue, dress fittings etc. But most of all, I left my baby girl for 2 nights for the first time to attend her bachelorette party. I know she thinks I dropped the ball in completing my MOH duties I feel like this bride is rude, ungrateful and a bridezilla and am considering dropping this girl as a friend. I could tell that no one enjoyed being involved in this wedding as I did chat with the other bridesmaids. Am I being too sensitive?

Liatris2010 · August 2014

I think you are being too sensitive about her not being interested in your baby. I'm not really a baby person. I have friends with babies, and while I work to maintain those friendships (being aware of bed times, travel limits, feeding schedules), I don't feel obligated to make friends with the babies. I am sure they would prefer friends their own age as me and a 9 month old have nothing to talk about and don't share any interests.

BUT, everything else you've said about this woman makes her sound like an ungrateful brat. I also don't have anything in common with those, and feel no need to make friends with them. I wouldn't judge you if you decided to let the friendship go.

holyguacamole79 · August 2014

naturebride canada said:

Ok so I was just the MOH in a friends wedding and had a horrible experience in my books, however wanted some feedback on whether or not I am being too sensitive. I have a 9 month old baby who is my world right now, and the bride has only seen my baby a handful of times, let alone formed any sort of a relationship with my daughter. Every time we talked it was about the wedding and nothing else. I found myself being resentful of this, especially as she included my daughter as a "honorary" flower girl, without even asking if that was ok! I think it is very fake of her to include my daughter as "prop" in her wedding when she hasn't even bothered to put in any time in getting to know her!! Ok so now some of the highlights: 1) Told all bridesmaids they couldn't have a braid in their hair as she was to have the only braid 2) Made all bridesmaids purchase long dresses, then changed her mind and had us all pay for alterations to have them shortened 3) Made her caterer go to a restaurant to sample the pulled pork so they could match the taste because the caterer's version was not "savory" enough 4) Was very vocal about FMIL's dress choice and made her family feel bad because the dress didn't match the wedding colours 5) Purchased 2 bottles of nail polish that all 6 bridesmaids had to share so that we could all have exactly matching toenails 6) Acted like an entitled you-know-what at her bachelorette party, waving her cup around for people to refill her drink and then not saying thank you (and other similar behaviour) 7) Yelling at and being rude to the photographer to the point where her mother was apologizing for her behaviour 8) Yelling at the florist for the bouquets being too small and the fact that there were roses in her bouquet (the flowers were quite lovely IMHO) 9) Snubbed me royally in her thank you speech despite me planning and footing the entire bill for a beautiful shower I threw for her, an awesome weekend bachelorette party in another town (which I footed most of the bill and planned), organized and paid for wedding day brunch and mimosas, helped with DIY crafts, setting up her entire venue, dress fittings etc. But most of all, I left my baby girl for 2 nights for the first time to attend her bachelorette party. I know she thinks I dropped the ball in completing my MOH duties I feel like this bride is rude, ungrateful and a bridezilla and am considering dropping this girl as a friend. I could tell that no one enjoyed being involved in this wedding as I did chat with the other bridesmaids. Am I being too sensitive?

I think items 1-8 are definitely 'zilla behavior. 8 is borderline; if she requested no roses & that was in the contract, then I could maybe see why she was upset.

Regarding #9, when was this "thank you speech"? And, did she thank everyone BUT you? If she thanked everyone BUT you, then I'd be miffed. If it was just a "thank you for coming" speech, then she technically did nothing wrong. From what you've said, you did some very nice things for her, and it is proper for her to write a thank-you note or some other token of appreciation.

And I don't get what an "honorary" flower girl is.

naturebride canada · August 2014

She made a general thank you to all of the bridal party and then gave an extensive thank you to her friend who was not in the wedding party for listening to her and giving her advice. I guess I just feel that I deserved a special mention as well and not just be clumped in with the rest of the bridesmaids (who all did nothing).

An honorary flower girl (in this case anyways) was dressed up and carried down the isle in a wagon in recognition that she was too young to be a "walking" flower girl

NYCMercedes · August 2014

@Liatris2010‌ Put it well. She's not into babies and that's ok. She's a bridezilla and that's not ok. Time for a cooling off period between you two.

holyguacamole79 · August 2014

naturebride canada said:
She made a general thank you to all of the bridal party and then gave an extensive thank you to her friend who was not in the wedding party for listening to her and giving her advice. I guess I just feel that I deserved a special mention as well and not just be clumped in with the rest of the bridesmaids (who all did nothing).

An honorary flower girl (in this case anyways) was dressed up and carried down the isle in a wagon in recognition that she was too young to be a "walking" flower girl

Eh, I can appreciate being disappointed by not being thanked. It may be a tad sensitive on your part, but I'd probably feel the same way. Did she thank you at all?

And, yeah, I'd be annoyed by her using your daughter as a prop. And the wagon thing doesn't exactly sound safe.

zitiqueen · August 2014

flantastic said:

Everyone is spot-on that with respect to the wedding, she was being a bridezilla, and with respect to not making friends with your baby, she was normal.

About the honorary flower girl and not being asked - you could have said no.

It sounds like lots of people involved with this wedding could have said no to her ridiculous demands but chose not to.

JaxInBlue · August 2014

Totally agree with Liatris about the baby thing - if you are interested in maintaining your friendship now, you may need to do so without your daughter involved. It was tacky and inappropriate for her to use your daughter as a prop too.

I do think it would help you make a decision if you think about only those actions related to you. The way I read it, Bridezilla moments 3, 4, 7 and 8 are bad but all about her relationship with other people. Being a PIA to her MIL will have consequences for her; being awful to her vendors was probably reflected in the final product she received and/or their willingness to work with her again in the future. But those are her issues with other people.

I'd honestly give her a pass on 5 too. A lot of brides here who want a very specific whatever for their bridal parties are told to pay for it themselves and while her logic pay have been off in understanding how easy, or not, it is for 6 women to share nail polish, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt that she was doing what she thought was best, and that she might have actually be trying to not saddle you each with leftover polish you didn't like.

I'd try to let those things go. Then I'd based my decision on whether or not I could be friends with someone whose expectations of her friends, and her view of gratitude toward her friends, so different that my own or from what I had previously thought. I'd also think about what your changing life stations mean for your friendships and if how you've each changed means you might need to be spend less time together right now.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

I think a lot of what you said sounded bitchy, but not the part about your baby. Not everyone will care about your baby. Even if she's your little miracle, she's just one of 7 billion "miracles" on this planet.

I wonder if my friends think I hate their babies because I haven't gone out of my way to meet them?

Bridezilla?

Re: Bridezilla?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards