Military Brides

Fiance getting out of the Marine Corps soon...

Has anyone else had to deal with something like this... I'm also just kind of venting because I feel like if I talk to friends/fam about this, they will take this the wrong way or get mad at my fiance which I don't want to happen. 

My fiance is starting is 8th and final year in the Marine Corps, getting out in about a year. We got engaged in July and are planning a 2 year engagement to give time for him to make the transition, me to finish school, and save/pay for everything (as we are paying for the wedding ourselves) with as little stress as possible. Any time we've ever had a conversation regarding his transition out and plans for the future, he has always acted like everything is fine and he has no worries. Today out of no where he comes out his true worries about feeling like there's not enough time for him to do everything he needs to do to have the job he wants when he gets out and provide and how stressed he is and thinks that it might be financially irresponsible to be paying for a wedding when there are so many question marks in the future, and how he couldn't believe I couldn't tell he was so stressed out about it.

I explained that only seeing each other 4/30 days a month and talking for a few minutes on the phone a few times a month doesn't really give me time to pick up on him being stressed out about this especially when that time is spent doing other things, and he is saying the opposite. 

I asked him what exactly it is that he would like to do then about a wedding, i.e. put it off a year and see if he feels any more secure about spending thousands of dollars. He didn't tell me what he wanted to do, just said he wants to wait now until he has more certainty about his future and that he isn't necessarily saying he would like to put it off for a year. 

I am trying to be sensitive to his needs and I am very confident is his ability to be successful out of the Marine Corps in his career of choice, but this all came as quite a shock and was totally unexpected, as he knew he was getting out when we started dating, and got engaged. 

Re: Fiance getting out of the Marine Corps soon...

  • Getting out is a major, major change. I think he's probably just wigging out right now. It sounds like you're doing what you can, offering him options, and he's just still stressing. I'd plan to postpone, personally. Just to take the stress off both of you. 
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • Totally normal! My husband got out last year (well forced out because of the Officer selection boards and not getting selected) and it was really rough. We had never lived together until he got out so he moved to a new city, with my entire family - which is overwhelming in itself lol and then it took him 5 months to find a job. Then he got a job and hated it. Finally this past June, a year after getting out, he finally is in a job that he enjoys and uses his skill set and is really starting to make sense of it all. Moral of the story...It takes time. Just be patient. It's really hard and really frustrating for them, so just try to be as supportive as you can. If he wants to postpone the it's probably best to do so. Adding a wedding on top of all the other changes might just be too much for him at this moment. 
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