Wedding Party

Bachelorette Party Help

Looking for alternative bachelorette party ideas! All but one bridesmaid lived through (and with) me through my hard partying college years, but I've changed so much and don't enjoy going out much anymore. Two of the five are spending a lot of money to come from across the country, another just had a baby and is dying to have a crazy night, and the other two are in the same place in life as me. I don't want to disappoint 1/2 of the bridal party by choosing a spa day and the other 1/2 by choosing to go out. My fiance has chilled out like me and has planned a fishing trip for his bachelor party. I know the wedding is all about me (and him), but I am not the type of person who willingly hurts feelings for my benefit. I cannot handle a night of shots, scavenger hunts, and getting hit on - I already had a 21st birthday party! Honestly, I'd rather go on a fishing trip but none of my girls would enjoy it. The 2 who are more calm, my older sister and my fiance's older sister, would go out for sure, but I simply do not want that! Is it rude to have a get together with games and drinks and then skip going downtown? There has to be another way to do this without a hangover or pouting maids! Fyi, the wedding is in March and we live in a southern coastal city. Any ideas would be so much appreciated!

Re: Bachelorette Party Help

  • andy9366 said:
    Looking for alternative bachelorette party ideas! All but one bridesmaid lived through (and with) me through my hard partying college years, but I've changed so much and don't enjoy going out much anymore. Two of the five are spending a lot of money to come from across the country, another just had a baby and is dying to have a crazy night, and the other two are in the same place in life as me. I don't want to disappoint 1/2 of the bridal party by choosing a spa day and the other 1/2 by choosing to go out. My fiance has chilled out like me and has planned a fishing trip for his bachelor party. I know the wedding is all about me (and him), but I am not the type of person who willingly hurts feelings for my benefit. I cannot handle a night of shots, scavenger hunts, and getting hit on - I already had a 21st birthday party! Honestly, I'd rather go on a fishing trip but none of my girls would enjoy it. The 2 who are more calm, my older sister and my fiance's older sister, would go out for sure, but I simply do not want that! Is it rude to have a get together with games and drinks and then skip going downtown? There has to be another way to do this without a hangover or pouting maids! Fyi, the wedding is in March and we live in a southern coastal city. Any ideas would be so much appreciated!
    First off, I assume that one of your friends is offering to host your bachelorette party and is asking for your input .... Right?  Because I'm sure you know that you're not supposed to plan your own party.  

    That said, I hosted a Bach party for a friend and it was like what you described.  We drank wine and played board games at my house.  Totally chill and very her.  
  • Yes, I know I'm not supposed to plan it but the MOH (who wants to go out) is asking. I'm so torn because she is assuming the responsibility to take the reigns in planning (she's from here and moved away recently) and is already spending so much money to come down here and get the dress, so I don't want the night to be a bummer to her or any others. The plan for out of towners is to come Friday or Saturday through Monday. Bach party on Friday or Saturday, wedding on Sunday.
  • If your bachelorette party is 2 nights before the wedding, I wouldn't want to go out partying, either. But she is flying in early for it. I'd honestly let her know that you appreciate their excitement for your party and you're just not up for the night she envisioned.
  • Thanks, Sarah! And I like the board game idea! :)
  • Honestly, if I'm flying across the country, i do not want to sit home playing board games. I'd like to actually get out and see the place I've spent so much to visit!

    Isn't there a happy medium between staying home and 47 shots and strippers? Some sort of fun activity you could do, followed by a fun dinner out? Like perhaps a sunset boat cruise, followed by an awesome dinner, and then home for your beauty rest?
  • I also don't think the only options are staying home and balls to the wall partying. Here are a few ideas:

    - wine or brewery tour
    - dinner then painting class (in my area, there are studios that are BYOB)
    - manis/pedis then dinner
    - mini golf then dinner
    - dinner out somewhere and then back to someone's house for drinks and games
    - laser tag (offbeat suggestion, but hey) then dinner
    - rent a pontoon boat for the day (depends where you are and time of year)

    Honestly, if you're going to a place that serves alcohol and your friends want to get crazy, they will. Just try to think of things you've been wanting to do in your area anyway and do that. 
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  • Rent a boat--a small carver, a sailboat, etc. with a small crew.  Cruise the coast, go for a swim, and have them handle catering so you can have nice snacks like fruit, champagne, antipasto.  This is always a lot of fun.

    Vineyard trip?

    Get skybox at fun concert or athletic event?

    My bachelorette party was a luxe shopping weekend in Chicago--no penis pinatas, scavenger hunts, or shots.  Ate at nice places, shopped, went to an underground mixology lounge where you had to be on list--couldn't just walk in--in an industrial area (total surprise).  Went to high tea and ate sweets at the peninsula.  Just think of luxe, fun things.  It doesn't have to involve matching tank tops and penis lollipops.  In fact, I now prefer that now that I'm not in college.
  • edited September 2014
    Ooh yes, I like what PPs say. I didn't mean to say that you definitely needed a night in, but you don't have to accept the crazy clubbing party they had hoped for. My original comment of board games was what I did for a friend (but, granted, all of us are local). Definitely find a fun happy medium.
  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited September 2014
    I am an older bride so naturally my friends are older too and clubbing was not an appealing option for us. So instead we did a spa afternoon, went to dinner, and then went back to MOH's house for cake and a few games. The girls that didn't want to go out to the bar (or couldn't because a couple BM's weren't 21) left for the night and me and just a few of the girls did a little bar hopping for the rest of the night. It was a really great party and it had a little bit of something for everyone. It didn't bother me that some of the girls didn't go to the bars with us and I think they were thankful that I didn't make them do something that they weren't comfortable with. They still spent the day celebrating with me. ETA: I swear there were paragraphs
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  • For mine we had a girls night in. Snacks & chick flicks & everyone brought a bottle of their favorite wine so we did a wine tasting. It was a fun low key night, which I wanted because I didn't want to add any fiancial stress to my bridal party and half of my friends (along with myself) are over the night club thing. We had a casual evening & it was fun.
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