Wedding Etiquette Forum

Wedding Dress Code Vent - RECAP PIP

Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
edited September 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
A few weeks back I posted about a wedding invitation that said "Black Tie Welcome" which we all had a good laugh at because WTF is that? For Reference: CLICK HERE

So that has led me to believe that people will be dressed nice for this event so I purchased THIS DRESS and I will be wearing that shiz with nude peep toe pumps (along with a Navy pashmina wrap, nude clutch and pearl drops and bracelet). Sounds good right? I mean it's no fancy GOWN but c'mon it's not really black tie (and as the post I linked above states there will also be porta-potties?!?! SAY WHAT?!?!)

So today (1 week till the wedding) I find out (through the grapevine) that everything will be grass. Like yes, I knew it was at their mutlimillion dollar summer home on the lake, but I thought with that dress code, if they expect men to show up in tuxes and women and fancy gowns we can wear heals!!! So now I need to find some fancy flats... which I just think makes any pretty dress look worse....


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Re: Wedding Dress Code Vent - RECAP PIP

  • Wtf is wrong with people!?!?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Not necessarily this high but maybe something like THIS 
  • bahamabride2015 I got these already... so I think I'll wear the pumps for some family pics we take in front of the lake then switch the these.


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  • bahamabride2015 I got these already... so I think I'll wear the pumps for some family pics we take in front of the lake then switch the these.


    I'd get a nicer pair of flats, actually.  I don't think those sandals will go with your lovely dress at all.  Navy, nude, or gold flats would look nice with your dress.

    Or go with nude wedges.

    Also, what if you gave these things a try: https://www.thesolemates.com/

    Last resort before those sandals, walk on the balls of your feet when you walk in grass in heels.  It works.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Gold flats- Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click!

    Lace Flats- Click! Click!

    Navy Flats: Click! Click! Click!

    Nude Flats- Click! Click! Click!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I can't even with this venue.

    So they have this gorgeous multimillion dollar mansion on the lake that they won't even letting their guests be using the restroom in???  Whaaaatttt????

    I went to a wedding on a ranch with port-a-potties once.  Let's just say that too few port-a-potties were provided for the amount of people invited and I ended up leaving the ranch to drive to a Del Taco to use their restroom.  It was absolutely disgusting.  


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  • Nothing else to add, as PPs have it covered with other shoe options, but I am absolutely coveting that dress. I think I may need to buy it...
  • Great dress!

    I'm sorry but if they're having the wedding at their multi-million dollar SUMMER home and they're saying "Black tie welcome" (whatever the hell that means), they should be able to afford putting down dance floor pieces all over the grass if they insist on having it outside. 

    I guarantee people who didn't get the same grapevine message you got are going to show up in heels (probably really nice ones they don't want sinking into grass/dirt) and be PISSED.
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  • I would do nude wedges I know you already bought the sandals but I don't think they will go well with your dress. 

    As for the location they should put down a dance floor or something. 
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  • That dress is fab. I also recommend nude wedges. I actually think I need to find myself a pair of a wedding I'm attending at the end of the month.
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  • While I agree with the UGH! at their lack of planning - I actually think flats can look very chic and just as classy.  Of course, I watch a lot of Big Bang Theory and New Girl and the female leads wear flats 99% of the time so they don't end up towering over their fairly short male costars (or actually, I think I read in the case of New Girl, it's because the other female actress plays a model, read: tall, and the two actresses are actually the same height). 

    That dress calls for proper full on dress flats, not sandals, though.  I'd be inclined to go with either of the lace pair, the first navy pair, or the patent (faux) leather nude pair that PrettyGirlLost linked to.  Or, something in the style of the first pair I linked to below.

    There's also...
    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/bp-moveover-pointed-toe-flat/3401531?origin=category&BaseUrl=Flats
    http://www.zappos.com/call-it-spring-chaella-nude
    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/sole-society-anastassi-perforated-dorsay-flat-women/3771160?origin=category&BaseUrl=Flats

    (Also, here's hoping your experience with the port-a-potty is better than my last one.  It didn't occur to the bride and groom that people might want to pee after sundown and provided no lighting in the area where the port-a-potties were stationed.  So once the sun went down, we had the buddy system to even FIND the port-a-potties because it was pitch black and the ground was uneven, and then we had to maneuver around in there in the dark.)

  • Girl, take the dress, rock it and go to a place with flooring!
    Happiness is an inside job
  • I'm very much loving the shoe porn in this thread! Nice work ladies.
  • I went to a backyard wedding last weekend and had to wear flats with my nice dress. It ruined the outfit for me. I wish I had time to find nice wedges. BUT the port -a - potties they rented were quite nice. The wedding was obviously not meant to be black tie welcome though.
  • I'd just wear those sandals you posted, they're pretty and do "go" with the dress, IMO.
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  • I have no advice on the shoes (I'm a stiletto girl), but that dress is gorgeous! Also, seriously, porta potties at a super fancy party? No, just no. We had an outdoor wedding and our one big MUST for choosing a venue is that we refused to use any place that required us to rent porta potties. It narrowed down our options a lot, but that was something we would not budge on. And our guests appreciated it as much as we did!
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  • doeydo said:

    I'd just wear those sandals you posted, they're pretty and do "go" with the dress, IMO.

    No, no, no!! Lol!

    That dress is so nice and with those lace details it needs dress flats or wedges.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited September 2014
    As terrible as the porta-potties are, I attended a backyard wedding where there was only restroom inside the home. For like, 200 people. 200 people who were drinking heavily. The wait for the restroom was about 45 minutes because it was a residential restroom - so no stalls, and you had to wait for the person in front of you to not only pee, but also wash their hands, fix their hair, etc. before coming out so you could go in. It was TERRIBLE and around 930pm drunk people starting PEEING IN THE BACKYARD. Freaking gross. In that moment, I would have wished for porta-potties. We literally saw one guy stumble to the edge of the lawn we were all dancing on, and literally pee off the edge of the dance floor.
  • jenijoyk said:
    As terrible as the porta-potties are, I attended a backyard wedding where there was only restroom inside the home. For like, 200 people. 200 people who were drinking heavily. The wait for the restroom was about 45 minutes because it was a residential restroom - so no stalls, and you had to wait for the person in front of you to not only pee, but also wash their hands, fix their hair, etc. before coming out so you could go in. It was TERRIBLE and around 930pm drunk people starting PEEING IN THE BACKYARD. Freaking gross. In that moment, I would have wished for porta-potties. We literally saw one guy stumble to the edge of the lawn we were all dancing on, and literally pee off the edge of the dance floor.
    But that venue wasn't an appropriate choice for that number of guests then.

    They do make trailers that have toilets that are just like using a "normal" restroom. Running water in the sink. Heck, I've used ones that have fireplaces in them. So there are options for renting proper restrooms.
  • A) I have a crush on your dress & overall look as described. 
    B) Can you get those heel protectors? I've never used them so I don't know how well they work, but I'd assume at least SOME part of the wedding would take place on cement.
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  • Yeah, I'm going to chime in with Maggie and point out there are some very high-end porta- restrooms out there.  I'll take a restroom-trailer with 7 or 8 stalls over, or in addition to, navigating a mansion with maybe 4 or 5 toilets, tops. 

     

    I still don't equate the best portable restroom trailers with black tie, but, eh still sounds like it'll be a nice event. 

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  • Yeah, I'm going to chime in with Maggie and point out there are some very high-end porta- restrooms out there.  I'll take a restroom-trailer with 7 or 8 stalls over, or in addition to, navigating a mansion with maybe 4 or 5 toilets, tops. 

     

    I still don't equate the best portable restroom trailers with black tie, but, eh still sounds like it'll be a nice event. 

    I agree.
  • Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited September 2014
    Thanks everyone for all the suggestions! We leave on Friday to head up and I am just so excited to see my extended family that I only see once a year.

    I am a little shocked over the dislike for the sandals, I really thought they we perfect because they were the nude color of the dress and even the flowers on it are the same shape flowers in the lace and the gold accents will match the gold in my jewelry! I just can't afford ANOTHER pair of shoes at this point (after the 2 pairs I got, the dress, alterations to the dress (top taken in - story of my life *sad face*) my jewelry and accessories, including a navy wrap as it is in Maine, at night in the fall - brrrrr) Plus renting our cabin for 4 nights. So I will tip toe it in the pumps as long as I can till its time for sandals. I was told B&G are graciously providing flip flops for guests so at least my sandals will be nice and match my outfit at that point and can really bust a move then!

    As far as the porta potties- I heard they will be nice...so we'll see how that goes. I know the house has 7 baths, but 6 of them are attached to bedrooms. Plus I have been told NO ONE is allowed in the house. That is where a few kids will be with an au pair as NO CHILDREN ALLOWED at the reception (but props at the ceremony and pictures are encouraged).

    ETA: I want to stress I am not trying to turn my nose up at the porta potties because I get it. But I am annoyed at this whole "black tie optional" dress code.

    As others have said their MUST be at least some cement in places. They have a driveway and a tennis courts there, but no view of the lake from those locations and I have been told EVERYTHING is in the yard by the lake....

    Looking forward to reporting back!

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