Feeling a little discouraged - Vent

soontobemrshamilton · June 2014

I've been working out and eating healthy since the first of the year. I have lost about 18 pounds, I started out at 195 pounds. I can tell a little bit in my clothes and my face, but I haven't received any feedback from other people. I understand how the people I see often, might not really notice, but the people that don't see me often, haven't said any thing. I just feel like if it really was noticeable they would have mentioned. So it just has me a little down, all this hard work has gone unnoticed. Ok end of vent

theycallmelinz · June 2014

While it's nice to have other people notice your weight loss, to me it's just as nice seeing those scales move. Also, TAKE MEASUREMENTS!!! Seriously. There will come a day when you worked really hard the past few days/weeks/etc. but the scale doesn't move. But that's okay, because you will have taken measurements a month (or however long) ago, and when you measure today, low and behold, you're smaller in size!

That being said, 18 pounds is a huge accomplishment, so awesome job! I said I was going to finally get serious about my weight loss when I got engaged in April, annnnnnd so far I've gained 5 pounds. So kudos to you for sticking to it!

soontobemrshamilton · June 2014

thank you @lynze425

and yes, I actually just started measurements, so I'll see in a few weeks where I stand with that.

QueerFemme · June 2014

Don't get discouraged. 18 pounds is great! The thing is, since you lost it over a 6 month period, it's about 3 pounds a month, so it's a very gradual weight loss. When you lose weight gradually, it's harder for people to see. Even if you see them once every other month, they might not notice a 3 or 6 pound weight loss, which is what it is over the course of 2 months.

Also, some people are hesitant to say anything, even if they do notice. It makes it sound like they didn't think you were attractive at the larger weight. So, they just keep their mouths closed.

I agree with taking measurements. Be happy with your own progress. Don't worry about what other people are seeing.

JoanE2012 · June 2014

QueerFemme said:

Don't get discouraged. 18 pounds is great! The thing is, since you lost it over a 6 month period, it's about 3 pounds a month, so it's a very gradual weight loss. When you lose weight gradually, it's harder for people to see. Even if you see them once every other month, they might not notice a 3 or 6 pound weight loss, which is what it is over the course of 2 months.
Also, some people are hesitant to say anything, even if they do notice. It makes it sound like they didn't think you were attractive at the larger weight. So, they just keep their mouths closed.
I agree with taking measurements. Be happy with your own progress. Don't worry about what other people are seeing.

This! Someone else's weight is none of my business and unless they bring it up, there is no way I'm commenting on it. I liken it to a pregnant woman.....I could pretty much bet my paycheck that someone is pregnant, but unless she tells me she is, I'm not saying a word to her about it.

lisa83014 · June 2014

I've lost 8 lbs and am 20 lbs lighter than I was at my heaviest weight, yet still feel fatter than I've ever been so I feel you on this.

Don't forget, most people are so wrapped up in their own lives nowadays because we're all so busy that sometimes we just don't notice things about people we see all the time.

Take pictures of yourself, for yourself, and you'll notice. And really... that's all that matters :-)

Alyssa18o6 · June 2014

I agree with the measurements. I've been trying to lose weight since my engagement in April. As of now i've lost about 23lbs but in the last month my weightloss has slowed. Which is FINE, but my fiance is dropping weight like it's nothing. Everyone comments on him, and I feel like I gained 23lbs instead of lost them cause no one says anything to me. I didn't take measurements, but I plan on it next month. I wrote down the measurements my alterations girl took yesterday when I got measured for my dress. I can tell a little in some clothes, but nothing major.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

You can do it! I have lost 37 pounds and it took me losing 25 pounds before anyone really noticed. I think people will start to notice soon. Losing 18 pounds is a huge accomplishment!!! you go girl

MegEn1 · August 2014

In my experience people who see you regularly don't start to 'notice' until about 30lbs of a change in either direction. It's true with me - I'm at 28lbs down since April and I just now started to really and truly notice changes.

Knottie2065042 · September 2014

just carry in with what your doing. They will notice soon enough! x go girl x

Knottie93133394 · October 2014

I personally don't remark when someone loses weight because you never know why it happened. Maybe they've been really sick or depressed or haven't been able to afford to feed themselves enough calories; it's not always a happy occasion or something they want to celebrate. Just putting that perspective out there.

whitniedavis · October 2014

At the end of the day, you should always make changes to your health to make yourself HAPPY! Take it from me, looking for validation from other people when it comes to weight loss can be so hit and miss. I eat like a cow some weeks and people say "look at you skinny mini" then at the same time, I diet and work out super hard other weeks and I don't hear anything. Just be focused on your desires and your goals and you'll have no where to look but ahead!

weddingcactus · October 2014

As a general rule it is not polite to comment on someone's weight. Whether someone has lost or gained weight, it is always a risk making a comment. If you say "Have you lost weight?" it can sound like "Gee, you used to look fat!" Don't take it personally either way! You know you've been working hard and lost weight and I bet you can see the results! 18lbs is absolutely nothing to sneeze at. Keep your head up and your shoulders back and be confident that your hard work is clearly paying off.

ferricfox · February 2015

This is going to sound weird, but for me, I get uncomfortable when people ask me if I've lost weight. The answer is always no.
Here's the thing: I eat quite healthy, exercise a few times a week, and do pretty much everything the world tells you to in order to lose weight and be healthy.
BUT I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, and people with PCOS have a hard time losing weight. As my gyno put it, "You could do nothing but breathe air for six months and gain weight with PCOS."
The last time I lost weight, I was sick from a medication and ate fewer than 500 calories per day.

SO when people say to me, "You look great, have you lost weight?" I always want to just hide somewhere, because the answer is always no, and I feel like they're just being polite by saying that, because it's not polite to say, "I see you continue to gain even more weight, sweetheart."

End of rant.

Sorry about that...

Feeling a little discouraged - Vent

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