Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

What do I do during the Mother/Son dance?

Hello!

My father is deceased so there will not be a Father/Daughter dance at our wedding, nor will we be having a special song or other "in memoriam" event.

We had initially decided to not have any spotlight dances except for our first dance, but my FMIL is rather insistent about having a Mother/Son dance.  I don't want to deprive her of this, I just feel like it's awkward.  There's no way I'm going to hang out and watch them dance, I'd be thinking about my dad.    
Any thoughts on something I could do while they're having their time together?  Is it more awkward to flee the scene for a few minutes?

TIA!

Re: What do I do during the Mother/Son dance?

  • Dance with your mom! Dance with literally anyone special to you. I think it would be awkward and rude to leave the scene, but if it bothers you that much you should probably take a bathroom break. Don't just leave the room, leave the room with a purpose. I think bathroom break is the most reasonable. 

    If it were me I would make it a mother/child dance assuming you are on good terms with your mother.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

  • You could always do a parents' dance. Your FI will dance with his mom and you can dance with your mom/uncle/brother/grandfather/whoever is important to you and have the DJ invite everyone to join you with their parents.

  • During DH's dance with his mom, I think I just sat down and had a glass of wine. It was a relief to have a breather. I agree with @larrygaga‌ - just take a bathroom break. Nobody will notice.
  • We're doing a parent dance. Dance with your mom while he's dancing with his.
  • If you don't want to dance with anybody, go get your drink on.
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

    image
  • This is one of those times when, "You're the bride, it's your day" means you can do anything you want.
  • Maybe let them have the mother/son dance and since your father has passed away (so sorry) you could have a mother/bride dance!

    Sorry if that sounds stupid, I think it might be sweet for you and for your mother since I am sure your mother is also a bit down about you not getting the father/daughter dance. 
  • You can:
    1) Dance with your mom
    2) Dance with another person you are close to and want to honor with a special dance
    3) Enjoy a moment outside the spotlight
    4) Take a private moment to remember your father

    You should:
    1) Let your FI and FMIL enjoy their special dance

    You should not:
    1) Begrudge your FI and FMIL for their dance because it is not possible for you to have one with your father
  • It might help if you do what we did...we only danced for about 90 seconds. 

    No one wants to watch a full dance spotlight dance of anyone but the B&G, people barely want to watch that. 

    Just have them dance long enough to get the photos and they can dance a full dance together later in the night is they wish, when it's not all "look at me, look at me" and uncomfortable for you.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • CMGragain said:
    This is what you should do:  After your first dance with your new husband, you take him by the hand and lead him over to his mother.  You kiss her on the cheek, and watch the two of them dance with a blissful, happy expression on your face.  (Practice in a mirror, if necessary.)   Everyone will think that you are the PERFECT daughter-in-law, and your FMIL will get her dance.  Afterwards, your husband will escort you back to your table.
     
    SIB:
    In most situations I think this would be a great answer, however because OP has expressed that watching this spotlight dance will upset her because of the loss of her dad, I don't think this is a good idea.
     
    I think the suggestions of other PPS to take a breather out of the spotlight is a much better idea.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards