Bridesmaids drama.. help!

mgephar · April 2014

One of my friends freaked out when I didn't ask her to be my maid of honor and even told me to go f%#& myself. Now she's sucking up and acting all buddy-buddy so I'll ask her to be a bridesmaid, and I really don't want to ask her. Especially after she flipped out on me. However, I know if I don't ask her, it'll be so much drama and she might even terminate our friendship. What do I do?

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

Don't ask her and let her terminate the friendship if she wants to.

She's acting like a petty ass. . . do you really want to be friends with her?

NYCMercedes · April 2014

mgephar said:

One of my friends freaked out when I didn't ask her to be my maid of honor and even told me to go f%#& myself. Now she's sucking up and acting all buddy-buddy so I'll ask her to be a bridesmaid, and I really don't want to ask her. Especially after she flipped out on me. However, I know if I don't ask her, it'll be so much drama and she might even terminate our friendship. What do I do?

Seems like a no-brainer. Don't ask her.

Jen4948 · April 2014

Don't ask her. She behaved like a jerk to you. Do you really want someone who acts so babyish as a bridesmaid...or a friend?

kitty8403 · April 2014

I wouldn't ask her, either. But I'm curious how se found out she wasn't MOH if she isn't even a bridesmaid. Is this something people announce?

mgephar · April 2014

I asked my sister to be my MOH. I haven't asked any other girls to be bridesmaids yet.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

Don't ask her. If that terminates the friendship, then it wasn't a very good friendship to begin with.

banana468 · April 2014

There's no way I'd ask anyone to be a BM if she recently told me to go fuck myself.

Kauris · April 2014

Have you read any other threads where a Bride is complaining about how selfish, silly, rude, etc. BMs were towards a bride? It was because the person was selfish, silly, rude, etc. BEFORE being asked to be in the wedding. NO ONE is going to change their behavior for the better just because you ask them to be in your wedding. If they are like that before, they will be like that during and after.

Do you really think your situation is going to be any different? Please be smart and don't ask her to be in your wedding expecting anything different than the behavior she has already displayed.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

Why is this even a question? She told you to 'fuck off.' Pretty obvious that you shouldn't ask her to be a BM.

Bubblegum5586 · April 2014

mgephar said:

I asked my sister to be my MOH. I haven't asked any other girls to be bridesmaids yet.

I agree with all PPs that clearly she has a terrible attitude and I don't foresee that changing once you ask her. I find it even more unreasonable that she was so upset you chose your sister over her. I know everyone has different relationships with their siblings, but in my mind sisters trump all friendships.

laurenstlouis · April 2014

No way would I ask her. I kind of got myself into a somewhat similar situation, except that I found out right after I asked my friend to be my MOH that she had been saying some pretty unkind things about me, since she thought I wasn't going to ask her. After asking her (and her accepting) she told me all the awful things she had been saying about me and even told me that she was going to cut me out of her life entirely, but since I'm a wedding planner/coordinator, she didn't want to burn any bridges since she knows that I would plan her wedding for free. All of this was said while she laughed, like it was the funniest thing in the world--but I was left feeling incredibly hurt and blindsided. Had I known beforehand all the things she was saying, I wouldn't have asked her and I would encourage you to avoid asking anyone who would cuss at you/go off on you and then turn around and kiss your ass just to secure a spot in your bridal party. It's not worth it and you deserve better than that.

mgephar · September 2014

Thank you for the advice, ladies! I ended up asking her to get coffee with me and explained to her why I wouldn't be including her in the bridal party and that I hoped to include her in a different way. It was a pretty brutal conversation; she cried a lot and begged me to reconsider, but I stood firm and was nice about it. I think I handled it well. Thank you again!

abbyj700 · September 2014

Ugh...while I agree she shouldn't have been asked to be a bridesmaid - you also didn't need to sit her down and rub it in her face. You ask people to be in your wedding party - you don't announce to them if they aren't.

climbingsingle · September 2014

mgephar said:

Thank you for the advice, ladies! I ended up asking her to get coffee with me and explained to her why I wouldn't be including her in the bridal party and that I hoped to include her in a different way. It was a pretty brutal conversation; she cried a lot and begged me to reconsider, but I stood firm and was nice about it. I think I handled it well. Thank you again!

I really think this was a wrong move on your part. You should never sit someone down to tell them why they're not being included in something.

MyNameIsNot · September 2014

Well that was unnecessarily mean. I hope you're proud of yourself.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

mgephar said:

Thank you for the advice, ladies! I ended up asking her to get coffee with me and explained to her why I wouldn't be including her in the bridal party and that I hoped to include her in a different way. It was a pretty brutal conversation; she cried a lot and begged me to reconsider, but I stood firm and was nice about it. I think I handled it well. Thank you again!

I think you didn't. Why couldn't you just leave well enough alone?

jerkyanne · September 2014

I was almost on your side.

Your move to sit her down and tell her why she didn't make the cut was just as bitchy as she was.

Maggie0829 · September 2014

mgephar said:

Thank you for the advice, ladies! I ended up asking her to get coffee with me and explained to her why I wouldn't be including her in the bridal party and that I hoped to include her in a different way. It was a pretty brutal conversation; she cried a lot and begged me to reconsider, but I stood firm and was nice about it. I think I handled it well. Thank you again!

This was probably not the best move.

Bridesmaids drama.. help!

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