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First fight with the future mother-in-law resolved!

Met with the FMIL today to just talk about the guest list. My parents are paying for the whole thing and we can't invite more than 200 guests (crossing our fingers we get no more than 175 to come). Anyway, she shows up with a list of 90 people she has already called, invited over the phone and got their home addresses. We only had room for 70 (max) for her to invite and she started going on about how she hasn't added her church friends to the list yet. Has the nerve to tell me these people are non-negotiable and this is her one shot at her son's wedding (she does have a 19 year old daughter who's a total princess) AND they gave us $1500 for the DJ and cake so they could invite whomever they wanted. Thanks lady, my parents are paying $15K and they only get 4 friends on the list because budget's already so tight. Called her, gave it to her straight. Apologized over and over again for any miscommunication. Told her we can pay for the 70 people we expected but anyone over she has to pay for after RSVP's come in. She seemed to calm down and backtrack when I told her not only is it $40/plate (which she already knew), but every person is another invitation, menu card, program, centerpiece, escort card, favor, exc. Finally agreed to pay for anyone extra and then rattled on about the backyard rehearsal dinner she is throwing. Did I mention my wedding is 10 months away!. Mother-in-law winning! Anyone else have monster in laws?

Re: First fight with the future mother-in-law resolved!

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    Met with the FMIL today to just talk about the guest list. My parents are paying for the whole thing and we can't invite more than 200 guests (crossing our fingers we get no more than 175 to come). Anyway, she shows up with a list of 90 people she has already called, invited over the phone and got their home addresses. We only had room for 70 (max) for her to invite and she started going on about how she hasn't added her church friends to the list yet. Has the nerve to tell me these people are non-negotiable and this is her one shot at her son's wedding (she does have a 19 year old daughter who's a total princess) AND they gave us $1500 for the DJ and cake so they could invite whomever they wanted. Thanks lady, my parents are paying $15K and they only get 4 friends on the list because budget's already so tight. Called her, gave it to her straight. Apologized over and over again for any miscommunication. Told her we can pay for the 70 people we expected but anyone over she has to pay for after RSVP's come in. She seemed to calm down and backtrack when I told her not only is it $40/plate (which she already knew), but every person is another invitation, menu card, program, centerpiece, escort card, favor, exc. Finally agreed to pay for anyone extra and then rattled on about the backyard rehearsal dinner she is throwing. Did I mention my wedding is 10 months away!. Mother-in-law winning! Anyone else have monster in laws?
    That's great you feel you go it resolved, however... you do realize she can still screw you? She can NOT pay for those extra guests after the wedding and there's nothing you'll be able to do about it. 

    Also, why are you inviting people with the hopes they don't come? I hope I never get invited to a wedding where someone hopes I don't come. I'd rather not be invited.
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    Yeah, why do say only 175 should come?  And if your parents are paying that much, it isn't up to you to limit their guests.  Since you let FMIL contribute financially, she does get some say.  Nearly half the guest list definitely seems excessive to me, and the whole verbal invitation thing is completely on her.  She can deal with awkwardly telling people that she invited them to an event to which they will not actually be invited.




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    I don't have a monster in law I have a passive aggresive mother in law. She is a nice person, however I am still waiting for her to even acknowledge that we are getting married, did I mention it's 2 and half months away? 
    All she does is make my fiance guilty for not inviting this person and not inviting that person AFTER i tried to get together with her 3 times to talk to her about guest list and when she didn't respond I wrote her a letter saying to include anyone extra, she didn't put anyone else on it. 
    Come on now either piss in the pot or get off!! 
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