Usher Question

Knottie35651742 · September 2014

We're having a couple ushers at our wedding, but I really want one of the signs that says "Pick a seat not a side" Would it be silly to have both? Any ideas how to make both work?

CMGragain · September 2014

I don't like the sign idea. It strikes me as rude. When the ushers escort people to their seats, either they ask the question "Friends of the bride or groom?" or they don't. It is the ushers' job to escort people to their seats. This is not a high school cafeteria lunch rush.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

I think that sign has overstayed its welcome,

Maggie0829 · September 2014

I vote no sign and no ushers. People know how to walk into a place and find their own seat.

southernbelle0915 · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

I think that sign has overstayed its welcome,

AMEN!

Especially if you're having ushers. Just tell your ushers not to ask the "bride or groom?" question and to seat people wherever.

rachspory · September 2014

We're having "usher issues" with my FMIL too, and I just don't get it. Are they really necessary? We're having a relatively small guest list of ~75 and I don't really see the point in telling people where to sit. If we have a few Reserved signs on the front benches for family, won't that be good enough, or am I just being clueless?

JCbride2015 · September 2014

I agree neither the ushers nor the sign are necessary.

climbingsingle · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

I think that sign has overstayed its welcome,

This.

Maggie0829 · September 2014

rachspory said:

We're having "usher issues" with my FMIL too, and I just don't get it. Are they really necessary? We're having a relatively small guest list of ~75 and I don't really see the point in telling people where to sit. If we have a few Reserved signs on the front benches for family, won't that be good enough, or am I just being clueless?

Having reserved signs for those that will be processing in (such as Mom's and Dad's and Grandparents) is perfectly fine.

Ushers are really never necessary. Adults and even young kids know how to walk into a room full of chairs or benches and easily pick a spot to sit.

CMGragain · September 2014

rachspory said:

We're having "usher issues" with my FMIL too, and I just don't get it. Are they really necessary? We're having a relatively small guest list of ~75 and I don't really see the point in telling people where to sit. If we have a few Reserved signs on the front benches for family, won't that be good enough, or am I just being clueless?

At my sister's wedding, her clueless young friends piled into the front rows that were reserved. Ushers could have solved the problem. Don't assume that everybody knows how to behave at a wedding. As a church organist, I have seen plenty of weddings where the guests had obviously never been in a church in their lives, and behaved as if they were in a bar!

jenijoyk · September 2014

Our GMs are also doing usher duty. Our plan is that they will just be in the courtyard (where our ceremony is taking place) when guests start to arrive. They can take gifts if people have brought them and get them to the gift table. They can make sure our VIPs and SOs of wedding party members get seated in the front rows. They'll know where our venue's oddly hidden restrooms are if anyone needs to ask before the ceremony starts. They can just generally look handsome and dashing and smile and say "welcome!" to guests as they arrive. I think it's a nice touch.

When it is a few minutes from ceremony start time, they can walk up to the front and take their places to signal to the guests that stuff is about to happen. At that time, our DOC will be at the door to handle late guests.

Alikat9614 · September 2014

I didn't want Ushers, DH did, so I figured eh, why not? They kept people out of the first 3 rows, but mainly just escorted some of our older female (single or widowed) guests to their seats, and those traditional southern ladies appreciated it! They also escorted the mothers in. We only sat people in the center section of the church, so the whole "pick a seat, not a side" was a non-issue. The ushers made sure to keep people I'm the center, as well, even though the sides were roped off. I agree the sign is kind of over done, but if you want it, I don't see why you couldn't have both!

doeydo · September 2014

CMGragain said:

rachspory said:

We're having "usher issues" with my FMIL too, and I just don't get it. Are they really necessary? We're having a relatively small guest list of ~75 and I don't really see the point in telling people where to sit. If we have a few Reserved signs on the front benches for family, won't that be good enough, or am I just being clueless?

At my sister's wedding, her clueless young friends piled into the front rows that were reserved. Ushers could have solved the problem. Don't assume that everybody knows how to behave at a wedding. As a church organist, I have seen plenty of weddings where the guests had obviously never been in a church in their lives, and behaved as if they were in a bar!

At a wedding I went to this Summer, it was like the opposite. The front rows weren't reserved and everyone was supposed to find their own seats. People didn't want to be rude and sit where they weren't supposed to, so siblings, parents, etc. all sat a row or two back and the front was empty except for the couple of people who escorted the brides down the aisle. I felt bad.

doeydo · September 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

sarahbear31 said:

I think that sign has overstayed its welcome,

AMEN!

Especially if you're having ushers. Just tell your ushers not to ask the "bride or groom?" question and to seat people wherever.

If an usher asked me that, I would be tempted to say "It should be perfectly obvious I'm neither. Great God!"

Anywho, OP, I would forgo the sign no matter what you do.

Jen4948 · September 2014

Lose the sign. Ushers aren't mandatory, but they can be helpful in making sure everyone has a seat and no one is seated in the front rows or wherever who shouldn't be there.

gunnydiver · November 2014

I made my brother an usher, even though one wasn't strictly needed for a few reasons... Being dressed appropriately (suit) would be difficult for him, so we paid for the tux rental. He can then pass out the programs, point people to the additional upstairs balcony seating, and show people where to go after ceremony (adjacent courtyard for cocktail hour). Plus, my sister is a BM, and this way he isn't the only family member with out a role at the wedding.

But in response to YOUR question... (sorry, have a bit of the me-centric bride disease going on!)

I think the pick a seat not a side sign is overdone..if there is more than one page of it on pinterest, I think AVOID. But, thats me... I prefer a classic approach, rather than the latest super #instacliche.

But, if you love the sign, go for it.

It's your wedding.

Congratulations!

Jen4948 · November 2014

"Cutely" worded signs seem to impress no one but the people who made them, who then post them on Pinterest.

Just have ushers keep people out of "reserved" seats and escort VIPs during the processional. Don't have them pass out anything-that's an unnecessary and unappreciated "job."

atlastmrsg · November 2014

I only had three seats that needed to be kept--mother of groom and my parents. We put a tiny little note in the seat--literally, size 14 font "Reserved for Name." My husband's father wasn't there, and neither of us had living grandparents. It was maybe 1-2 inches by 2-3 inches. Just in case anyone tried to sit in those three chairs on the front row. My DOC was also keeping an eye on the three seats that needed to be held, just in case.

Otherwise, the relative handing out programs just invited everyone to have a seat where they'd like if they asked or looked confused. I mentioned to a few family members that if people were shy about taking the seats on the front rows, to be sure to sit there so they weren't blank. Everything worked out just fine. Everyone sat in a chair, the front row wasn't empty, and the ushers weren't missed.

I tend to find it weird when I go to a wedding, walk in with my husband, then have to take an usher's arm with my hubby tagging along behind. I just feel odd. I know its for all of 10 seconds while we're walking to seat, but I'd still rather just walk with my husband.

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