Unwanted and Unasked for opinions.

falsara · September 2014

Yesterday one of my coworkers asked me when my wedding date is. I've been very careful about not talking about the wedding at the office. So I answered her and then tried to bean dip like "oh do you know where I can find this paperwork"

When she realized that my wedding date and my birth date are the same she flipped out. Her response was "OMG you CAN'T possibly get married on your birthday, that's so HORRIBLE. You'll only get one gift a year then."

I wanted to slap her soooooooo hard.

You're not the one getting married bitch, I don't care if you think it's wrong.

What unwanted opinions have you gotten lately?

ETA: Spelling

climbingsingle · September 2014

Haha! I'm getting married on my birthday too (next weekend). I've heard similar idiotic comments.

falsara · September 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:
Haha! I'm getting married on my birthday too (next weekend). I've heard similar idiotic comments.

Right! Geez my birthday is no where near as important as getting married

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · September 2014

I think that's a cool day to get married! Double the celebration! And it's super easy to remember! It's not all about getting the maximum present yield!

falsara · September 2014

goldchocobo said:
I think that's a cool day to get married! Double the celebration! And it's super easy to remember! It's not all about getting the maximum present yield!

Thanks! It does fall on a Saturday so it made it easier for me to say yes when FI asked for it. I am thinking about putting birthday candles on the top of the wedding cake though......

alpacalunch · September 2014

As a bit of an AW myself, I would never have considered setting the date for my birthday. But being born in January also helped that along.

You do you!

A friend of a friend was saying that because my father has serious mobility issues (Parkinsons), he shouldn't walk me down the aisle. Not your business, lady. Nearly punched her in the kidney.

Jells2dot0 · September 2014

We were engaged on my birthday. To me, it was being less of a AW because people already knew I would be celebrating and I'd be getting a gift. The gift just happened to be way more than I had ever gotten before!

As far as unwanted opinions, I've certainly heard my fair share of them while being sick. The worst one is that I should be juicing and eathing clean. Um, my neutropenic diet given to me by my doctors speifically says no fresh fruits or veggies. So, try again.

CMGragain · September 2014

Just a cautionary tale about birthday/weddings. My mother was married on her FI's birthday. The marriage only lasted 4 years, ending in a very nasty divorce. My ex-step father was very sorry he'd chosen that date. I sincerely hope you ladies have better luck, but it is worth thinking about.

chibiyui · September 2014

CMGragain said:

Just a cautionary tale about birthday/weddings. My mother was married on her FI's birthday. The marriage only lasted 4 years, ending in a very nasty divorce. My ex-step father was very sorry he'd chosen that date. I sincerely hope you ladies have better luck, but it is worth thinking about.

Yeah, I'm sure you ladies will be fine, but when two unstable friends of ours got married on their birthdays (They both had the same birthday) a bunch of us were like, that will be really, really awkward when they divorce.

But yes, the coworker saying you only get presents once a year is dumb.

climbingsingle · September 2014

CMGragain said:
Just a cautionary tale about birthday/weddings. My mother was married on her FI's birthday. The marriage only lasted 4 years, ending in a very nasty divorce. My ex-step father was very sorry he'd chosen that date. I sincerely hope you ladies have better luck, but it is worth thinking about.

I'm trying so hard not to be offended by this. But I am. I'm 7 days away from my wedding and I feel like I have the flu.
I'm 33. Birthdays really don't have that much meaning/importance in my life. I mean, my last huge blowout party was for 21. After that, it's just another day. I don't know anyone that makes a huge deal out of their birthday anymore.
So let's say FI and I split up. I will be sad because my marriage is over. Would I start hating my birthday? I sincerely doubt it. They are two separate days/events in my mind.

This is my second wedding. My exhusband proposed to me on Xmas eve. And I still love Christmas. Not once did I get sad or upset on Xmas eve or Xmas day.

Nymeru · September 2014

Whatever. You chose the day you wanted. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone, and no one should be trying to make you feel bad about it.

Jells2dot0 · September 2014

CMGragain said:

Just a cautionary tale about birthday/weddings. My mother was married on her FI's birthday. The marriage only lasted 4 years, ending in a very nasty divorce. My ex-step father was very sorry he'd chosen that date. I sincerely hope you ladies have better luck, but it is worth thinking about.

On the flip side, my divorce was finalized on my mom's birthday. It was a great day.

Knottie37373131 · September 2014

Do what you want to do. I was engaged on my birthday. We started dating on Valentine's day. I actually think that it makes it easier to remember the dates. Also, people can be so busy that sometimes it is hard to celebrate every holiday and life event. It could be nice to have them on the same day so that you can make a point to have a nice dinner or go on a date. I think that having birthday candles on your wedding cake is a cute idea.

falsara · September 2014

Yea, my last big blow out was 21. Most Birthdays now I just sit at home with some wine and FI makes dinner.

And actually I also Graduated HS on my 18th Birthday so it seems like a running theme in my life to have other events on my birthday.

climbingsingle · September 2014

CMGragain said:
Just a cautionary tale about birthday/weddings. My mother was married on her FI's birthday. The marriage only lasted 4 years, ending in a very nasty divorce. My ex-step father was very sorry he'd chosen that date. I sincerely hope you ladies have better luck, but it is worth thinking about.

Also, I really do appreciate and value a lot of your advice. But this post is specifically about unwanted opinions. I'm so tired of people giving up their "advice" to me about getting married on my birthday. I didn't ask for advice or opinions. We picked a date that worked for us. That's it.

CMGragain · September 2014

CMGragain said:

Just a cautionary tale about birthday/weddings. My mother was married on her FI's birthday. The marriage only lasted 4 years, ending in a very nasty divorce. My ex-step father was very sorry he'd chosen that date. I sincerely hope you ladies have better luck, but it is worth thinking about.

Sorry you didn't like my post, but my position doesn't change. Most of the people who are giving you unwanted advice are probably very sincere in their concerns, just as we often give opinions here on the Knot to posters who want to do something that may not be wise.
Have a lovely wedding and a happy future. I wish you the best.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

My birthday is in August and I love in Texas. No way I'd get married on my birthday. The most recent unwanted advice has been regarding DH and I TTC. That gets all sort of fun advice.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

Less gifts?! OH NO!

How will I function without a bunch of presents?! Because I'm five and my life revolves around the gifts people bestow on me.

*hard stare*

Inkdancer · September 2014

Was all excited about all the cute lingerie I bought. "Why would you spend money on that? It's just going to get ruined." Um, bitch, I will spend as much money as I want on making my honeymoon fun!

JennyColada · September 2014

Jells2dot0 said:
We were engaged on my birthday. To me, it was being less of a AW because people already knew I would be celebrating and I'd be getting a gift. The gift just happened to be way more than I had ever gotten before!

We got engaged on Christmas and that's kind of how I see it: an ultimate gift.

He'll never be able to live up to it again!

theycallmelinz · September 2014

We keep getting unwanted advice that we should just skip the wedding and go to the courthouse to save money. People who don't know anything about our financial situation or how much we are spending on this wedding are saying this and it makes me want to stab them. It just might happen before the wedding (the stabbing, not the courthouse).

falsara · September 2014

lulu411 said:
We keep getting unwanted advice that we should just skip the wedding and go to the courthouse to save money. People who don't know anything about our financial situation or how much we are spending on this wedding are saying this and it makes me want to stab them. It just might happen before the wedding (the stabbing, not the courthouse).

The same coworker who freaked about my date, has been continually telling us to just go to the courthouse...... smh.

Kauris · September 2014

I think it's silly to place that much pressure on a date. My dad moved out on my 16th birthday and their divorce was finalized on my 18th. Yet I still manage to AW it up about my birthday. I could have moped around for years but why? It's just a date.

We're getting married the same day Khloe K. and Lamar O. nightmare got married and the same day George Clooney is having his PPD. It's also my nephews birthday. I often read people telling Brides not to make a big deal about a particular day/date. Aren't some of you saying the opposite here? If you super analyze the date, there will probably never be a "good" date.

JennyColada · September 2014

Every date has meaning to someone. If you were going to try to avoid every important date then you'd never get married or do ANYTHING monumental in your life!

Jells2dot0 · September 2014

lulu411 said:
We keep getting unwanted advice that we should just skip the wedding and go to the courthouse to save money. People who don't know anything about our financial situation or how much we are spending on this wedding are saying this and it makes me want to stab them. It just might happen before the wedding (the stabbing, not the courthouse).

I would have been stabby if someone tried to talk me into a traditional wedding instead of a courthouse/private wedding. People just need to find fault with something for entertainment.

lightningsnow · September 2014

JennyColada said:

Every date has meaning to someone. If you were going to try to avoid every important date then you'd never get married or do ANYTHING monumental in your life!

I agree with this. The year my parents got married (1991) they got married on Thanksgiving. That doesn't mean it's always on Thanksgiving nor do I think if anything ever happened it would have a negative emotion tied to it. It does make for a funny joke when I ask my father what his anniversary is and he always replies Thanksgiving.

JennyColada · September 2014

lightningsnow said:

JennyColada said:

Every date has meaning to someone. If you were going to try to avoid every important date then you'd never get married or do ANYTHING monumental in your life!

I agree with this. The year my parents got married (1991) they got married on Thanksgiving. That doesn't mean it's always on Thanksgiving nor do I think if anything ever happened it would have a negative emotion tied to it. It does make for a funny joke when I ask my father what his anniversary is and he always replies Thanksgiving.

My birthday sometimes falls on MLK day! And my parent's 13th wedding anniversary was on the date of the big Northridge, CA earthquake!

climbingsingle · September 2014

I just remembered something. I found out on my 16th birthday that my boyfriend (my first love) slept with my best friend. They had kept it a secret for a few weeks, but my friend couldn't hold it in anymore. So she told me on my birthday. I was devastated at the time. But it didn't ruin my 17th birthday, or any following birthdays.

beethery · September 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I just remembered something. I found out on my 16th birthday that my boyfriend (my first love) slept with my best friend. They had kept it a secret for a few weeks, but my friend couldn't hold it in anymore. So she told me on my birthday. I was devastated at the time. But it didn't ruin my 17th birthday, or any following birthdays.

Had similar things happen on my birthday years ago. Birthday isn't ruined. It's a non-issue.

OP, get married when you want to and if anyone has a problem with it being on your birthday, they can blow it out their ass. It affects them in ZERO ways.

raissyrais · September 2014

Well everybody knows you get married just for the gifts. Oh and your birthday is also just for that too. Stupid.

IrishPirate60 · September 2014

There are still people who get upset with couples who marry on 9/11. How COULD you? I wonder if there was that kind of reaction to 12/7 decades ago.

Unwanted and Unasked for opinions.

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