Should I be feeling this way?

khristiana · September 2014

I invited about 10 co-workers to our wedding in Vegas. We are a 3-4 drive from Vegas.

Only one person is coming. :0/

I feel somewhat upset by this, like I'm not "liked" by my fellow co-workers. Should I not be feeling this way?

aggiespartan · September 2014

Eh, I have a lot of people that would like to come but can't for a variety of reasons. Some just can't get away, and some can't afford it. I wouldn't worry about it. It's probably better to keep work and private life separate anyway - especially if you're living it up in Vegas. You don't want a bunch of "omg did you see what she did?!" going around the office.

tcnoble · September 2014

Don't take it personally. For one reason or another, it's inevitable that not everyone can attend. Just focus on all the people who ARE attending and enjoy the day

Ndelible · September 2014

I wish I had more people saying "no". It would be easier that way. However, I suspect that some have said yes and will flake out at the last minute. I would much rather that people say no upfront. And it's hard to pick people. I left a LOT of people off my from work list and I still ended up with about 30 (with SOs).

khristiana · September 2014

It's just hard on my emotions because I went around today finally asking the people I invited here at work if they were attending or not, because they didn't even send in a "NO" RSVP. Everyone said no for one reason or another, including a person who already said yes.

I've been working here 8 years, and it just stings.

But I will definitely not let it ruin my day and enjoy everyone who DID make it.

dbacksgirl · September 2014

Are these people you hang out with outside of work on a regular basis or do you mostly see them at work? I'd be less inclined to worry about those who you aren't particularly close with. As important as our weddings are to US, it IS a lot to ask for people to attend a DW. And even friends may have very valid reasons they can't come. FI invited a bunch of people from his office because there are a few that he really wanted to be there but he felt he couldn't ask some and not others. Anyway, 5 of those he asked said they were coming "for sure" and then after bugging them to officially RSVP for THREE WEEKS past the deadline, they ended up backing out. Two of them told FI that they'd planned on coming but due to financial circumstances, they just can't do it right now. It's an expensive trip, even if you don't have to buy plane tickets. There's still gas, hotel, food, etc. and that's not even to mention those who have kids that would have to figure out what to do with them. As others have said, it may feel like it's personal but I'd be willing to bet it has less to do with you and more to do with those people's personal situations.

missholly18 · September 2014

I had the same issue happen to me with two close girlfriends. One of them I was even a Bridesmaid at her wedding. I was soo upset!! Whenever I thought about it I cried and cried. Given that I had my wedding just two days ago, looking back I agree with the girls advice. Focus on the people who WILL be there attending your wedding. It shouldn't take convincing for guests to make it to your special day, if they don't want to go - then just got to let it roll... you will have an amazing time and won't even notice! I promise you!

Good luck and feel better! Give it some time.

khristiana · September 2014

Thanks @missholly18.... Especially since you just went through it yourself. I'll shift my focus for sure.

vegasgroom · September 2014

I wouldn't worry about it. I can't see myself driving four hours for a co-workers wedding. :-) I don't hang out with any of my co-workers outside of work other than an occasional after work happy hour, so while I like them just fine, I probably would decline a wedding invite.

Should I be feeling this way?

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