Ok, I will take this as short and to the point as possible.
The characters:
Aunt Vicki - deceased and grandmother of the bride
Aunt Fran - living and has dementia, 83 yrs old, lives in DE
Aunt Mary - deceased but lived in town
Uncle Marty - married to Aunt Mary, lives in same town
Barbara - my mom and sister to the aunts, SIL to Uncle Marty. lives in MI
Carol - Aunt Vicki's daughter
Shelly - Carol's daughter, Aunt Vicki's granddaughter
Ok, so here's the story: Shelly is having a DW in FL. No big deal. Both Aunt Fran and Uncle Marty got invites to the wedding, as well as Fran's son & DIL, but not Fran's daughter & SIL. Barbara and her DH did not get an invitation.
Aunt Vicki died about 2 years ago; Aunt Mary died about 15 months ago. When Aunt Mary died, a heirloom went to my mom. Carol wanted it, but Barbara said no. Later she had second thoughts and gave it to Carol at the family reunion this May.
Barbara feels slighted by Shelly because of the heirloom incident and that Carol influenced her NOT to invite Barbara and her husband. To be honest, Aunt Fran is just not able to make the trip - and that comes from Aunt Fran's son. She may remember one minute then gone the next. To go from DE to FL probably wouldn't be a good idea.
Barbara thinks that she should send a gift to Shelly, but I say no. No invite, no gift Invite, go/no go, gift yes.
Personally, I could care less that I didn't get an invite. I just feel bad that my mom and dad didn't get one, but my other aunt and uncle did. Cousins who live in the same town did not get invites.
Just want to hear your thoughts...
Oh, just one other thing. Carol's sister, Betty, has a son that is getting married very soon. They did send an invitation, which my parents had to decline, but are sending a gift. Betty also lives in the same town as her sister Carol.