Wedding Party

MOH with 2 sisters and 1 BF

I have a concern about my bridal party. Here's the situation:
I will have 3 attendants, 2 sisters (one who I'm very close with, and one who I'm not) and my BF
- I want sister 1 to be my MOH, but this will hurt sister 2's feelings (and possibly my BF's feelings)
- I could have my BF be my MOH, and not choose b/w the sisters, but then that would hurt sister 1's feelings (she told me that already) (BTW- my BF did this exact thing... she has 2 sis's, one who she's close with, and one who she's not, and she chose me as her MOH to avoid choosing b/w sisters)
- I could have no MOH, but then who stands next to me at the ceremony, since that would basically be the MOH by default? This may also hurt sister 1's feelings since she has never been a MOH and thought I was her last hope.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I'm not sure it's avoidable. Has anyone had to deal with this situation, or have any advice?

Re: MOH with 2 sisters and 1 BF

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    Oh, FFS. I have no patience for people whose "feelings are hurt" b/c they are not MOH. I would choose my best friend or none of them and have my best friend stand next to me.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    ashley8918OliveOilsMomnovella1186levioosa
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    I have a concern about my bridal party. Here's the situation:
    I will have 3 attendants, 2 sisters (one who I'm very close with, and one who I'm not) and my BF
    - I want sister 1 to be my MOH, but this will hurt sister 2's feelings (and possibly my BF's feelings)
    - I could have my BF be my MOH, and not choose b/w the sisters, but then that would hurt sister 1's feelings (she told me that already) (BTW- my BF did this exact thing... she has 2 sis's, one who she's close with, and one who she's not, and she chose me as her MOH to avoid choosing b/w sisters)
    - I could have no MOH, but then who stands next to me at the ceremony, since that would basically be the MOH by default? This may also hurt sister 1's feelings since she has never been a MOH and thought I was her last hope.

    I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I'm not sure it's avoidable. Has anyone had to deal with this situation, or have any advice?

    I have one sister, and she's also basically my best friend, so I lucked out on this in a personal sense.  

    But I hear you saying you are closest to Sister 1 and you want her to be MOH.  Only you really know your family and friends and how much their feelings would be hurt.  I would hope Sister 2 and BFF would understand and get over it.

    Otherwise, probably the best course is to have no MOH or heck, even call all three of them Maids of Honor.  You can choose the order they stand in based on age, height, alphabetically, or pick out of a hat.  Ask one to hold your bouquet, one to hold the rings, and one to sign the marriage license as a witness, so they each feel like they have a "MOH role."
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    novella1186
  • It's silly for anyone to be "hurt" over not being MOH. It's your choice, not theirs, and I don't think they should be trying to influence you by warning you that you're going to make them feel bad. This isn't "hmmm... I'm in 1st grade and I need to pick a best friend! Who shall it be?" I remember doing that on the playground as a little kid. Now we grew up (or some of us did). 

    Go with what YOU really want. The internet and your BMs can't tell you what to do. Think of it this way: in 5 years, what choice might you regret? The one that someone else pushed you into? The easy way out to avoid hurt feelings? 
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  • Thanks, everyone, for your input. I like the idea of giving them each MOH roles. I agree with you all that it sucks that people feel hurt over this decision. I thought everyone was just going to be understanding... apparently not. Or maybe I'm just assuming too much, and it won't be as big of a deal. Regardless, thanks for the responses.
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