I was wondering if anyone had any good advice for me as a I plan a second wedding on 2nd wedding etiquette, and how to deal and/or talk with those family members who have "old school" perceptions of 2nd weddings?
Just a little background: I have been married before about 8 years ago
and have been divorced now for nearly 3 years. My fiance' and I have
been together for 2 years and were engaged last weekend! He is the sweetest guy ever, a wonderful partner in life, and treats me so much better than I ever thought was possible. My fiance' has
never been married before, neither of us have any children (but we both want children), and we are
both in our early 30's. We plan to have a medium sized wedding (100-125 ppl max) in a nice, reasonably priced location that we can afford and not go into debt over. I don't plan to make any hoopla about it with parties and showers or anything. I just want a personalized, memorable, nice ceremony and reception to express the amazing relationship we have. My mom pretty much planned my first wedding, as I was living in another city and pretty much uninterested at the time (should have been among the many blaring red flags). I also don't want the only wedding experience I had to be the one that ended in a divorce. So now that I have found the right person, we want to plan (and pay for) the wedding we want and is best for us.
His family is very about us getting married and my family is also
very happy for us and they love and accept my fiance'; however, I feel
that I am getting some negative comments mostly from my mom about the decision to actually have a nice wedding. She has already made some comments about why I view my first wedding in a negative light, why I would consider buying a nice bridal gown that is around $1000, why I want to "waste money". etc. I honestly don't think she means to upset me or offend me, maybe she just doesn't understand my situation or how I feel because she (and pretty much no one else in my family) has ever had to go through a situation like mine.
I get the impression from reading this board as well as other sites that the taboo's once associated with 2nd weddings are little less pronounced as they have become more common. I also get the impression that it is accepted to have the wedding you and your fiance want, without most restrictions, as long as you and your fiance can reasonably afford it. We certainly don't expect any help from anyone in either of our families unless they choose to help, so I was hoping to avoid negative responses. However her comments are beginning to weigh down on me and make me less excited about planning our wedding. So any advice on what to say to her or how to approach this would be greatly appreciated.