Budget Weddings Forum

Asking for wedding related items at Christmas

Yes, I'm already starting to think about Christmas and it's not even Halloween.
Instead of the traditional gifts I get at Christmas every year I'd like to ask for some items that will go towards our wedding in order to save some money and receive items that we'll actually use. Should I just set up a registry and if people ask tell them they can shop from there?  I would love to just get money to use to pay for vendors, etc but I know it's rude to ask for that and people don't like giving money because it's impersonal. Perhaps asking for a gift certificate for dance lessons or a gift card to a bridal salon or place to get my hair/makeup done the day of? Our wedding is 11 months away so I don't really have anything bought yet except for a few vendors booked. Any suggestions of useful items that we can ask for?
I even thought about skipping exchanging gifts with people this year in order to save some money for the wedding but I don't want to offend anyone or mess with tradition too much.
Any thoughts?

Re: Asking for wedding related items at Christmas

  • Barbara83 said:
    Yes, I'm already starting to think about Christmas and it's not even Halloween.
    Instead of the traditional gifts I get at Christmas every year I'd like to ask for some items that will go towards our wedding in order to save some money and receive items that we'll actually use. Should I just set up a registry and if people ask tell them they can shop from there?  I would love to just get money to use to pay for vendors, etc but I know it's rude to ask for that and people don't like giving money because it's impersonal. Perhaps asking for a gift certificate for dance lessons or a gift card to a bridal salon or place to get my hair/makeup done the day of? Our wedding is 11 months away so I don't really have anything bought yet except for a few vendors booked. Any suggestions of useful items that we can ask for?
    I even thought about skipping exchanging gifts with people this year in order to save some money for the wedding but I don't want to offend anyone or mess with tradition too much.
    Any thoughts?
    A lot of this depends on how you normally interact with your family/friends when it comes to Christmas. Like, personally, my mom asks for a list of things/ideas but I don't mention it with say, my grandparents, unless they ask first. 

    That said, there's nothing wrong with asking for things like cake toppers,toasting flutes, guestbooks, etc. Dance lessons and salon gift certificates would also be fine, if giving experiences is something your friends/family like to do.

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  • edited October 2014
    Everyone celebrates holidays differently, so it isn't easy for me to say what would be right or wrong.

    However, I would personally think twice about completely canceling the gift exchange on account that you're getting married if this is an important tradition in your family. It makes something that should be centered around altruism and family all about your wedding. If money is tight, there is nothing wrong with giving thoughtful, but modest gifts this year.

    If you usually set up registries for Christmas gifts, then doing one is okay. I wouldn't do it otherwise - you can just express your wishes through word of mouth if someone asks. I don't think there is anything wrong with telling people you'd like the items @chibiyui mentioned, but I would stay away from asking for money if this isn't something your family usually does.

    I know it's hard when we're all trying to be practical and save as much as we can in order to make our receptions a fun party for everyone, but try to treat Christmas like you usually would. There's always your birthday for the really fancy wedding stuff, right? :P
  • I don't think I would set up a registry specifically for Christmas... even though I get where your head's at, I'm not sure I'd go that route. I might however hint, if maybe your parents or someone asks you what you want for Christmas, I might just say something like "Oh I don't really need anything... except for wedding stuff..." I feel like if I said that to my mom she would either ask me specifically what I could use, or would maybe give my FI and I money for Christmas.

    I wouldn't skip giving people gifts, that wouldn't be very Christmas-y. As PPs said, treat the holidays as you usually would, don't make it something different just because you're getting married. And if someone is throwing you a bridal shower, why not register for the gifts you need then?
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