Is it proper to send...

[Deleted User] · October 2014

I was just wondering if it is proper or unknown to send EVERYONE a save the date. I am having a small ceremony but HUGE Reception. I was just wondering if both types of guests would get a save the date. I would think so but I just wanted another opinion

Thank you!!!

Maggie0829 · October 2014

Ok, first, please you black font because anything else is difficult to read and hard on the eyes.

So you are having an intimate wedding ceremony with a larger reception? So that means that your wedding ceremony will be immediate family and any SOs and that is it?

Personally I would refrain from sending everyone an STD. An STD is basically an invitation and once they are sent there is no taking that invite back. I would send STDs to any guests coming in from out of town and VIPs. For those that are just being invited to the reception the STD should note that it is for a marriage celebration so that they know that they will not be attending the actual ceremony.

mrsvaughan07 said:

I was just wondering if it is proper or unknown to send EVERYONE a save the date. I am having a small ceremony but HUGE Reception. I was just wondering if both types of guests would get a save the date. I would think so but I just wanted another opinion Thank you!!!

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Thank you for your input, I appreciate it.

Note to self: Keep color out of posts....

CMGragain · October 2014

If you do send STDs (They are not required), be sure that you make it clear that you are not inviting them to your wedding ceremony. I think people will be disappointed. Expect a lot of declines.

MyNameIsNot · October 2014

STDs should only been sent to people invited to the actual wedding.

It's technically ok to have a small wedding and huge reception, but you don't send STDs to the people who aren't invited to the main event.

CMGragain · October 2014

@MyNameIsNot, I am revising my advice. I think you are right! STDs are only for weddings, not just receptions. Thank you! The rules on STDs are still vague, since they are so new.

Jen4948 · October 2014

Certainly anyone who gets a save the date should be invited to both the ceremony and reception.

Should every guest get a save the date? They're optional, so my advice assumes that you've decided that you're definitely going to use them. I think it depends somewhat on the wedding. VIPs should get them, meaning wedding party, immediate family, officiant and his/her SO, and any other close relatives and friends whose status is that of essential guest. And if you're having a small, intimate wedding and/or DW, then pretty much every guest falls in that category. But if that's not the case, then I'd only send save the dates to the people who do and to any other guest you know of whose situation requires more advance notice than 6 to 8 weeks.

Maggie0829 · October 2014

I think that sending a STD to just the celebration is fine. You are just letting people know to Save the Date for an upcoming celebration. But you need to word it so that the person who receives it knows that the STD is for a marriage celebration, not a wedding. Honestly, I won't be surprised if STDs are slowly started to be used for other events, not just weddings (if they aren't already).

[Deleted User] · October 2014

So essentially as long as I word the Save the Date properly I can send them to all?

Am I interpreting everyone's posts correctly??

Jen4948 · October 2014

mrsvaughan07 said:

So essentially as long as I word the Save the Date properly I can send them to all?

Am I interpreting everyone's posts correctly??

Pretty much. I still wouldn't send one to every single person on the guest list though-only those persons whose presence is so essential that it's completely inconceivable that the wedding could take place without them unless there was a dire emergency, because you never know what might come up. If there's any chance that you have to scale back your plans, what you can't do is fail to invite someone who you sent a save-the-date to. So if you send them to 200 people, say, and things later require you to scale back your plans, you have to follow through and invite all of those 200 people and provide them the bare minimum, even if that means you have to cut back on something else you really wanted.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

mrsvaughan07 said:

So essentially as long as I word the Save the Date properly I can send them to all?

Am I interpreting everyone's posts correctly??

As long as you're absolutely sure that relationships or financial circumstances won't change between now and the event. For example, I didn't send STDs to coworkers because I didn't know if I would be close enough with them by the time the wedding rolled around to want to invite them. One of them ended up getting fired and we haven't been in contact since. There were other people I was on the fence about inviting, but budget didn't end up allowing it once we had firmer numbers and reprioritized our budget. If I had sent STDs to these people, I would have had to invite them.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

And just so you know, you're ok not to send everyond a STD either. I know B listing is frowned upon but I think it's ok to B list when sending STD because you may not be sure if you can afford to invite everyone that you really want to invite. Usually by time you need to send out your invites you know exactley how many people you can afford and then send out more invites then you did STD. Better to send just an invite then send out STD's and then be in a jam to be able to pay for everything.

Is it proper to send...

Re: Is it proper to send...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards