FSIL Drama

abbyj700 · October 2014

OP - I get where you are coming.

Only child invited to our wedding is FI's daughter. While it sounds easy to say "hey just invite FI's nephew" - it's not always that simple. FI's brother is rather upset his children are not invited to our wedding. In all honesty - they are one of the main reasons we didn't allow certain children and not others. They are typically rather out of control and tease FI's daughter mercilessly. (like tell her she's poor because she has a leapster and not a lap top at 6) It's not always that hey it's only 2 more guest and only 3 kids at the wedding - sometimes you have to stick to your guns.

aurianna · October 2014

Oiy.

So we did adults only wedding.
We invited my first cousin who was in his 20s and out of the house.
We did not invite his younger brother (13 at the time I believe).

When the invites go out that were addressed only to my uncle and aunt, they rsvp'd for themselves and their youngest son. And I had to call and say the invite was just for them and it became this big dramatic thing.

In my case, I could not cave. Hubby has 36 first cousins (and then almost double that with SOs). Some of them are kids. Many of them have kids. We had to stick to no kids invited or we literally would have gone over fire code.
But man... I felt so bad about it and wondered if I'd done something wrong there.

Since you are inviting some people under the age of 18, I really don't think any other guests would side-eye you for inviting your nieces and nephews (and remember, now that you're getting married, your FI's nieces and nephews will soon be yours too!). Assuming you don't have dozens of them, you could invite them with hopefully little strain on your budget and space.

I actually like the children's room thing, but it can't be forced. If the parents don't want their kids in it, they need to have places at the table, in the reception hall, with their parents. Best to talk to all parents in question and find out, if it were available, who would use it. You can't make it mandatory (though it sounds like an awesome setup and you're nice for providing it).

The other option, as PPs have said, is just do no kids under 18. None. Some people still consider it splitting up families. But these kids under 13 are not adults and they don't get to go everywhere adults go.

Either invite the nieces and nephews fully, to the entire event.
Or scrap 13-17 but be aware you'll still get pushback.

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