Camera to Show Harassment

raissyrais · October 2014

Been there done that, every SINGLE day. Still pissed.

http://elitedaily.com/news/world/hidden-camera-harassment-woman-nyc-video/817565/

climbingsingle · October 2014

I'm currently involved in a heated discussion on FB about this video. Some man is insisting that saying "Good morning" or "hello" isn't harassment. Really. Because these men are sitting on the corner exchanging pleasantries with EVERY person that walks by, right?

I've been harassed like this so many times. It's unnerving and upsetting. It's happened to me walking on the street, walking to my job, walking my dog. Shit, it's even happened while I've been sitting in traffic.

It needs to stop.

raissyrais · October 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I'm currently involved in a heated discussion on FB about this video. Some man is insisting that saying "Good morning" or "hello" isn't harassment. Really. Because these men are sitting on the corner exchanging pleasantries with EVERY person that walks by, right?

I've been harassed like this so many times. It's unnerving and upsetting. It's happened to me walking on the street, walking to my job, walking my dog. Shit, it's even happened while I've been sitting in traffic.

It needs to stop.

THIS> And some fuckers are saying we should dress less "sexy". WTF? I was walking hand in hand with my FI the other day (and he's 6') and some TWELVE YEAR OLDS in their school uniforms saw me and started cat calling me. Did I mention I was walking hand in hand with my FH?! I was so disgusted I wanted to vomit.

arrippa · October 2014

If we say anything to these people, like my favorite, eff off or leave me alone, then we are the rude ones. If I say anything less to them, then they take it as a sign that we approve of their cat calling. I just want them to leave me alone.

I was walking home a few winters ago and some 14 year old boy grabbed my breast, through my heavy winter coat. I yelled and luckily a biker was riding by and stopped. That was a sexual assault and we called the police. What did they do? Nothing. Because I must have misunderstood the situation. Whatever. I am still pissed about that.

It's like we are fair game to them. for their viewing pleasure. Sorrynotsorry, no.

climbingsingle · October 2014

raissyrais said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I'm currently involved in a heated discussion on FB about this video. Some man is insisting that saying "Good morning" or "hello" isn't harassment. Really. Because these men are sitting on the corner exchanging pleasantries with EVERY person that walks by, right?

I've been harassed like this so many times. It's unnerving and upsetting. It's happened to me walking on the street, walking to my job, walking my dog. Shit, it's even happened while I've been sitting in traffic.

It needs to stop.

THIS> And some fuckers are saying we should dress less "sexy". WTF? I was walking hand in hand with my FI the other day (and he's 6') and some TWELVE YEAR OLDS in their school uniforms saw me and started cat calling me. Did I mention I was walking hand in hand with my FH?! I was so disgusted I wanted to vomit.

Yeah, this insistence to dress less provocative is ridiculous. One day I was wearing a button down shirt, with a sweater vest over it, and work pants (that were not in any way tight on me). I was buttoned up to my neck and showing NO skin. And I had a man come up to me and say, "show me your tits."

There used to be a man that would see my every morning while I was working from my work parking lot to the front of my building. Every single morning he was out there blowing kissing, saying hello, telling me to smile, asking me to come talk to him. Thank god he's gone now.

novella1186 · October 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

raissyrais said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I'm currently involved in a heated discussion on FB about this video. Some man is insisting that saying "Good morning" or "hello" isn't harassment. Really. Because these men are sitting on the corner exchanging pleasantries with EVERY person that walks by, right?

I've been harassed like this so many times. It's unnerving and upsetting. It's happened to me walking on the street, walking to my job, walking my dog. Shit, it's even happened while I've been sitting in traffic.

It needs to stop.

THIS> And some fuckers are saying we should dress less "sexy". WTF? I was walking hand in hand with my FI the other day (and he's 6') and some TWELVE YEAR OLDS in their school uniforms saw me and started cat calling me. Did I mention I was walking hand in hand with my FH?! I was so disgusted I wanted to vomit.

Yeah, this insistence to dress less provocative is ridiculous. One day I was wearing a button down shirt, with a sweater vest over it, and work pants (that were not in any way tight on me). I was buttoned up to my neck and showing NO skin. And I had a man come up to me and say, "show me your tits."

There used to be a man that would see my every morning while I was working from my work parking lot to the front of my building. Every single morning he was out there blowing kissing, saying hello, telling me to smile, asking me to come talk to him. Thank god he's gone now.

But victim-blaming is the right thing to do. We really should feel sorry for the men in this situation, because they're not getting the attention they've asked for, and we're being stuck-up bitches to ignore them. [SARCASM]

I watched a news special when I was in high school where guys had to walk down hallways and streets and get cat-called and harassed by a bunch of women. The women repeated things that were said to them on a daily basis while they're trying to walk down those same hallways and streets. Most of the guys cried.

raissyrais · October 2014

@ClimbingBrideNY That's disgusting! And some men really do think they're just being polite too...but @novella1186 is right, it is sad for them! My friend was saying that it's also thought that it's a control thing. There's a theory that men psychologically think they own public spaces and that women are guests in public spaces, thus subjected to their opinions and time.

Most guys that don't participate in this don't know it's going on because most harassers don't do it in the presence of a male but as my above example suggest, sometimes they don't give a shit. And often the only way the harassers will leave us alone is if we tell them we have a boyfriend. (Meaning to them we are already owned by a man). If we simply say we are not interested, they are relentless and continue the harassment.

novella1186 · October 2014

raissyrais said:

@ClimbingBrideNY That's disgusting! And some men really do think they're just being polite too...but @novella1186 is right, it is sad for them! My friend was saying that it's also thought that it's a control thing. There's a theory that men psychologically think they own public spaces and that women are guests in public spaces, thus subjected to their opinions and time.

Most guys that don't participate in this don't know it's going on because most harassers don't do it in the presence of a male but as my above example suggest, sometimes they don't give a shit. And often the only way the harassers will leave us alone is if we tell them we have a boyfriend. (Meaning to them we are already owned by a man). If we simply say we are not interested, they are relentless and continue the harassment.

Yep! I used to work in customer service at a casino and there were always rude, obnoxious drunk guys hitting on me and making me so angry. Since it was "the hospitality industry," I was still required to be polite to them (although sometimes I wasn't). This was before I even met FI so I was single. I started wearing a fake engagement ring, and it helped a lot. The guys would always look straight at the ring, and then make an obnoxious comment like "wow he's a lucky guy" or "he must really love you" cuz it had quite a big [fake] diamond on it. But they wouldn't try to hit on me after that. Sad that we seriously have to make an effort just to be left alone.

climbingsingle · October 2014

I actually had a man hit on me the night of my wedding while I was still in my wedding dress. I was at the venue bar, grabbing myself a glass of champagne. And he came right up to me and asked if he could buy me a drink. I said, "No, thank you." Unfortunately I was still stuck there, waiting to pay for my drink. He then says, "You know, you're really beautiful. It's a shame you're married." Right. Because if I wasn't in my wedding dress right now, I'd accept your drink and what - have sex with you in the bathroom?

Obviously that wasn't street harassment. But do you really think a woman wants to be hit on when she's wearing a fucking wedding dress!?!? What the hell?

VulgarGirl · October 2014

Ladies ladies ladies it's a compliment! Just remember when you're walking along and some guy says hey sweet mama shake that ass for me, he's complimenting you! Give him a wiggle and say thank you!

raissyrais · October 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I actually had a man hit on me the night of my wedding while I was still in my wedding dress. I was at the venue bar, grabbing myself a glass of champagne. And he came right up to me and asked if he could buy me a drink. I said, "No, thank you." Unfortunately I was still stuck there, waiting to pay for my drink. He then says, "You know, you're really beautiful. It's a shame you're married." Right. Because if I wasn't in my wedding dress right now, I'd accept your drink and what - have sex with you in the bathroom?

Obviously that wasn't street harassment. But do you really think a woman wants to be hit on when she's wearing a fucking wedding dress!?!? What the hell?

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK

Maggie0829 · October 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I'm currently involved in a heated discussion on FB about this video. Some man is insisting that saying "Good morning" or "hello" isn't harassment. Really. Because these men are sitting on the corner exchanging pleasantries with EVERY person that walks by, right?

I've been harassed like this so many times. It's unnerving and upsetting. It's happened to me walking on the street, walking to my job, walking my dog. Shit, it's even happened while I've been sitting in traffic.

It needs to stop.

I agree that it does. BUT, we all know that will not happen. We can teach young boys that catcalling and whatnot is not appropriate but there will ALWAYS be horrible people out in the world. Period. Does it suck? Yes. But is there anyway to completely stop it? No. Could we make it illegal? Sure, but killing people is illegal doing illicit drugs is illegal but that doesn't stop people from murdering or getting high on coke.

I am in no way saying that women should dress less provocative, but I do think that young girls and women should be taught to be a bit more self-protective. It truly sucks that one needs to weary of people around them but that is just the world we live in. I would rather have my hypothetical daughter learn self-defense, keep to a buddy system when out at night, etc, then tell her that these catcalling men are the problem and that she should not have to do anything to protect herself.

I know that my opinion may be an unpopular one but harassment and rape is not just going to disappear. It will always be present in our society, which is sad, so women (and men) need to be self-protective when they are out and about. To not have your guard up, even slightly, is just a bad idea.

climbingsingle · October 2014

Maggie0829 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I'm currently involved in a heated discussion on FB about this video. Some man is insisting that saying "Good morning" or "hello" isn't harassment. Really. Because these men are sitting on the corner exchanging pleasantries with EVERY person that walks by, right?

I've been harassed like this so many times. It's unnerving and upsetting. It's happened to me walking on the street, walking to my job, walking my dog. Shit, it's even happened while I've been sitting in traffic.

It needs to stop.

I agree that it does. BUT, we all know that will not happen. We can teach young boys that catcalling and whatnot is not appropriate but there will ALWAYS be horrible people out in the world. Period. Does it suck? Yes. But is there anyway to completely stop it? No. Could we make it illegal? Sure, but killing people is illegal doing illicit drugs is illegal but that doesn't stop people from murdering or getting high on coke.

I am in no way saying that women should dress less provocative, but I do think that young girls and women should be taught to be a bit more self-protective. It truly sucks that one needs to weary of people around them but that is just the world we live in. I would rather have my hypothetical daughter learn self-defense, keep to a buddy system when out at night, etc, then tell her that these catcalling men are the problem and that she should not have to do anything to protect herself.

I know that my opinion may be an unpopular one but harassment and rape is not just going to disappear. It will always be present in our society, which is sad, so women (and men) need to be self-protective when they are out and about. To not have your guard up, even slightly, is just a bad idea.

Well, that's a whole other issue, that in my opinion aren't really related. I self protect. I know how to defend myself from an attacker. We never let a friend walk home alone, especially after my friend was held up at gun point last year. I take precautions all the time. And I think it's smart that people, not just women, know how to defend themselves.

Yes, street harassment will never stop. But it's important to get the message out there. I had a friend post this video and a guy commented saying, "Wow. I've done this before, and I had no idea how bad this can be until I watched this video. I'm not even going to do that again." So there you go. The message got across to one man. So I consider that a success.

raissyrais · October 2014

Maggie0829 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I'm currently involved in a heated discussion on FB about this video. Some man is insisting that saying "Good morning" or "hello" isn't harassment. Really. Because these men are sitting on the corner exchanging pleasantries with EVERY person that walks by, right?

I've been harassed like this so many times. It's unnerving and upsetting. It's happened to me walking on the street, walking to my job, walking my dog. Shit, it's even happened while I've been sitting in traffic.

It needs to stop.

I agree that it does. BUT, we all know that will not happen. We can teach young boys that catcalling and whatnot is not appropriate but there will ALWAYS be horrible people out in the world. Period. Does it suck? Yes. But is there anyway to completely stop it? No. Could we make it illegal? Sure, but killing people is illegal doing illicit drugs is illegal but that doesn't stop people from murdering or getting high on coke.

I am in no way saying that women should dress less provocative, but I do think that young girls and women should be taught to be a bit more self-protective. It truly sucks that one needs to weary of people around them but that is just the world we live in. I would rather have my hypothetical daughter learn self-defense, keep to a buddy system when out at night, etc, then tell her that these catcalling men are the problem and that she should not have to do anything to protect herself.

I know that my opinion may be an unpopular one but harassment and rape is not just going to disappear. It will always be present in our society, which is sad, so women (and men) need to be self-protective when they are out and about. To not have your guard up, even slightly, is just a bad idea.

Yes it is a two way traffic in that sense.

southernbelle0915 · October 2014

MagicInk said:

Ladies ladies ladies it's a compliment! Just remember when you're walking along and some guy says hey sweet mama shake that ass for me, he's complimenting you! Give him a wiggle and say thank you!

Disgustingly enough, I was talking to a woman at my old job about this exact thing and she kind of said the same thing. Something to the effect of, "can't you just take the compliment?!"

Uhh... no, I can't. Because it's not a compliment. It's a manipulative control grab and outrageously inappropriate.

This video hits on if the tables were turned and is kind of hilarious:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgVvswGSZPo

pinkcow13 · October 2014

This was on the news this morning, and apparently the girl in the video is now getting threats, including threats from men saying they will rape her. What a disgusting society we live in.

I have been dealing with this shit in NYC since I was a kid, which is disgusting. I went to catholic school, and obviously wore a uniform, so you can imagine how filthy men think. One time, I went to a bodega with my friend, and some old guy grabbed or smacked her ass. We were 16 at the time.

I notice that when I walk to work in my suit, I tend to get less catcalls.They still do not fully stop, though. Part of the reason why I started hating the club scene is because men get worse in there. They feel that they can just grab your arm or hand to get your attention, which is absolutely unacceptable.

raissyrais · October 2014

pinkcow13 said:

This was on the news this morning, and apparently the girl in the video is now getting threats, including threats from men saying they will rape her. What a disgusting society we live in.

I have been dealing with this shit in NYC since I was a kid, which is disgusting. I went to catholic school, and obviously wore a uniform, so you can imagine how filthy men think. One time, I went to a bodega with my friend, and some old guy grabbed or smacked her ass. We were 16 at the time.

I notice that when I walk to work in my suit, I tend to get less catcalls.They still do not fully stop, though. Part of the reason why I started hating the club scene is because men get worse in there. They feel that they can just grab your arm or hand to get your attention, which is absolutely unacceptable.

That's very very sad. I went to Catholic school too (Gosh you're my life twin I swear!) so I know exactly what you went through. Had this old guy following me around once describing how he would lick my ass. Ew. I was 17.

raissyrais · October 2014

@southernbelle0915 DId you see how some imbecile in the comment section said : "Women don't deserve to be president. They would be a horrible leader" Ahahahaa that's so pathetic.

pinkcow13 · October 2014

raissyrais said:

pinkcow13 said:

This was on the news this morning, and apparently the girl in the video is now getting threats, including threats from men saying they will rape her. What a disgusting society we live in.

I have been dealing with this shit in NYC since I was a kid, which is disgusting. I went to catholic school, and obviously wore a uniform, so you can imagine how filthy men think. One time, I went to a bodega with my friend, and some old guy grabbed or smacked her ass. We were 16 at the time.

I notice that when I walk to work in my suit, I tend to get less catcalls.They still do not fully stop, though. Part of the reason why I started hating the club scene is because men get worse in there. They feel that they can just grab your arm or hand to get your attention, which is absolutely unacceptable.

That's very very sad. I went to Catholic school too (Gosh you're my life twin I swear!) so I know exactly what you went through. Had this old guy following me around once describing how he would lick my ass. Ew. I was 17.

Definitely life twin! That is so disturbing.The scary part is that the men who take it to the next level are probably mentally unbalanced. And you never know how they will react if you respond back in anger, or if you simply ignore them.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

climbingsingle · October 2014

pinkrevenge said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I actually had a man hit on me the night of my wedding while I was still in my wedding dress. I was at the venue bar, grabbing myself a glass of champagne. And he came right up to me and asked if he could buy me a drink. I said, "No, thank you." Unfortunately I was still stuck there, waiting to pay for my drink. He then says, "You know, you're really beautiful. It's a shame you're married." Right. Because if I wasn't in my wedding dress right now, I'd accept your drink and what - have sex with you in the bathroom?

Obviously that wasn't street harassment. But do you really think a woman wants to be hit on when she's wearing a fucking wedding dress!?!? What the hell?

Me too! I came down to the bar to have a glass of water and just take a moment with a couple friends, and this guy offered to buy me a drink. I said no thank you, and he got MAD. Scowled at me and walked off in a huff and then glared at me until I left.

That's crazy!

[Deleted User] · October 2014

raissyrais · October 2014

pinkrevenge said:

As for her getting rape threats now, I'm not surprised. Are you guys not watching GamerGate? Women are not allowed to portray anything a guy ever does in a negative way, ever. EVER.

My personal favorite is the inevitable "It's not misogyny, you stupid fucking c*nt". Never fails.

Wow. I have no words.

thisismynickname2 · October 2014

Similar to this, there was an article in a Chicago paper just last week about a young woman trying to raise awareness about the same issue. She said she gets harassed daily.

Daily.

It makes me wonder why some women are targeted and not others. I have lived in Chicago for nine years and get a random street "compliment" once in a blue moon. I commute to and from downtown daily on public transportation, walk around by myself or with my friends... nothing. I got randomly "complimented" this past Sunday night but I was wearing a pretty bad-ass outfit if I do say so myself. (Also I don't count random comments from panhandlers.)

I even mentioned this to DH, because if it pretty much never happens to me, I must have serious man-repellent qualities. It's just awful that some women get this day in, day out.

novella1186 · October 2014

raissyrais said:

@southernbelle0915 DId you see how some imbecile in the comment section said : "Women don't deserve to be president. They would be a horrible leader" Ahahahaa that's so pathetic.

What an intelligent person. He must be aware that all women are planning on being elected president as one unit. All women in the US are going to act as a single leader.

I never look at the comments section on news articles. That's where stupidity breeds and festers.

Cookie Pusher · October 2014

Bethany Frankel was on the radio this morning, and when asked about this video, said it was just boys being boys, women should be flattered, take the compliment, blah blah blah. It's bad enough that men think this behavior is acceptable but it's even worse when women think the same thing.

Although I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or not that I hardly ever get harassed when I'm in NYC, or any city for that matter. I've had far more harassment in the 'burbs.

climbingsingle · October 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

Bethany Frankel was on the radio this morning, and when asked about this video, said it was just boys being boys, women should be flattered, take the compliment, blah blah blah. It's bad enough that men think this behavior is acceptable but it's even worse when women think the same thing.

Although I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or not that I hardly ever get harassed when I'm in NYC, or any city for that matter. I've had far more harassment in the 'burbs.

Yeah, this makes me full on hate her now. I was always on the line, but this has pushed me over. Fuck Skinnygirl.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

raissyrais · October 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Bethany Frankel was on the radio this morning, and when asked about this video, said it was just boys being boys, women should be flattered, take the compliment, blah blah blah. It's bad enough that men think this behavior is acceptable but it's even worse when women think the same thing.

Although I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or not that I hardly ever get harassed when I'm in NYC, or any city for that matter. I've had far more harassment in the 'burbs.

Yeah, this makes me full on hate her now. I was always on the line, but this has pushed me over. Fuck Skinnygirl.

Nothing else to add here. Always thought her cancelled show was super trashy anyway and now THIS nonsense. Ew.

raissyrais · October 2014

pinkrevenge said:

thisismynickname said:

Similar to this, there was an article in a Chicago paper just last week about a young woman trying to raise awareness about the same issue. She said she gets harassed daily.
Daily.

It makes me wonder why some women are targeted and not others. I have lived in Chicago for nine years and get a random street "compliment" once in a blue moon. I commute to and from downtown daily on public transportation, walk around by myself or with my friends... nothing. I got randomly "complimented" this past Sunday night but I was wearing a pretty bad-ass outfit if I do say so myself. (Also I don't count random comments from panhandlers.)

I even mentioned this to DH, because if it pretty much never happens to me, I must have serious man-repellent qualities. It's just awful that some women get this day in, day out.

It's based on who looks like an easy target. That's why the catcalling is particularly bad for minors.
Some of these guys (lots of them) flat-out get off on the thrill of making a girl feel scared and uncomfortable. So they're going to look for women who look like they don't want to be bothered and it would effect them.

Really? So I guess my daily bitch face and huge sunglasses aren't enough to scare those jackasses away then.

sarawifenow · October 2014

I saw this on the Today show this morning. Hoda was co-anchoring and actually said that if she walks down the street and doesn't get catcalled she starts second guessing her appearance and thinks something is wrong with her!

At my bach party I had guys grabbing on me all night. Why do people think this is ok?!

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