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Bought a dress, now I'm not so sure!

Knottie31052159Knottie31052159 member
5 Love Its First Comment
in Attire & Accessories Forum
I bought a dress this weekend and the more I am looking at photos, the more I am starting to overthink and second guess my decision!


My dress budget was LOW, $400 including alterations (we are both grad students). I tried on a few dresses I loved, but they were all at least $500, not including alterations. Finally, we ended up at David's Bridal and I found this dress for $99 and bought it because I liked it and it was within my budget. Now as I'm looking at photos I'm starting to worry it's a little frumpy. It does need extensive alterations so I'm hoping that perhaps with a better fit I will fall in love with it. I know David's Bridal doesn't offer returns so I fear that if I return this to go with something else, I'll end up going over budget and regretting it (we are not doing a full ceremony and reception, just a ceremony and family lunch- then I will change out of my dress for a nice dinner). 

I'm not sure what to do now. I am curious to see how I'll feel about the dress after alterations, but I know they will be expensive and I don't want to sink more money in a dress I'm not sure about (also, I'm not sure how much more flattering the dress will be without alterations). On the other hand, I'm not sure if I can do much better for the small budget I have! Or perhaps I'm just overthinking this whole thing and it's fine! The lighting, photo quality and my posture aren't great, so maybe I should wait to try it on once I pick it up from the store and see how I feel. In the grand scheme of things I know this is a dress I'll be wearing for a few hours, I'll be married to my wonderful fiance at the end of the day and agonizing over a wedding dress is a pretty good problem to have!

Thanks in advance for any feedback/suggestions :)

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Re: Bought a dress, now I'm not so sure!

  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2014

    I like the dress and I think Dress regret is pretty common around here.   If you ordered this weekend there isn't much of a chance that you can change it, so I doubt that will happen.  Also what kind of alterations are you looking to have done??  Are you planning to use Davids (they are more expensive then a private person would be!).

    Finally, if the dress comes in and you still don't like it, you can always buy something off the rack that you really love.  There are many places that do this brick and mortar plus online (preownedweddingdresses.com, pearlsplace.com (if you tried it on already of course) oncewed.com, and a few more in the sticky on this borad).  Buying off the rack or preowned should help maintain the budget.  A final thought, is there any room in your budget for a slightly more expensive dress? It sounds like you don't have much room, but just a thought.

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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    There is absolutely nothing frumpy about that dress. When it's taken in and fits you (and pleasepleaseplease take it to an actual seamstress and don't have DB's alteration's staff do it--I've heard horror stories on here too many times) it will be gorgeous. I'm stunned you got such a beautiful dress for only $99--it looks more expensive than that. Great find!
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  • blabla89blabla89 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    Dress regret is pretty common, but that dress looks fabulous on you. The reason it seems "frumpy" in the photos is because it's too big on you, and because snapshots are always less flattering than seeing it in person. Once it's fitted to your body you'll love it. Like the PPs have said, take it somewhere other than David's for alterations. Don't hesitate to set up consultations at several different places to ask what they recommend doing to the dress and how much it would cost.

    ETA: And don't look at any more dresses!
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    The only thing that makes that dress look frumpy is that it's about 6 sizes too big for you and held on your slim frame with chip clips. 

    That gown will look absolutely stunning on you when it's actually in your size and then you get it altered to fit your body. Plus you got a good deal, so you can afford those alterations now! It's gorgeous and looks great! Congratulations!
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  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    There is nothing wrong with it!  Get it taken in/up so it's not wrinkly and stand up straight.  If you have bad posture, consider wearing shape wear that will encourage you to stand up tall with shoulders back.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment First Answer
    I just bought that dress at the $99 sale too! As PP said, once altered I'm sure you'll feel differently!
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  • destinationtake2destinationtake2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    With alterations and accessories, you will love it! :)
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  • esstee33esstee33 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Hooooooly cow, I LOVE your dress. 

    I went into my local DB to check out the $99 sale the other day just to see if there was something I loved, and if this had been in my store, I probably would've left with it.
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  • vikinganna87vikinganna87 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I really like the dress.  You're lucky to have such a beautiful body that probably looks awesome in most dresses.

    That being said, even if you're on a tight budget I personally think the dress is one of the most important things.  On the one hand you're only wearing it for one day.  On the other hand it's a "dress for a lifetime." (this is how I justified my expensive dress to my fiance). 

    If a few more weeks go by and you don't LOVE it, I think you should look for something else.  In the scheme of things, a couple of hundred dollars here or there shouldn't keep you from getting something that you love.  AND DESERVE.  Don't be shy about asking that wealthy aunt (or friend) of yours for an advance on your wedding gift.  Be creative about financing.

    Of course, everything is about priorities.  If you spend more on the dress, you have to be thrifty in other areas.  Or live on Ramen for longer than you expected.  Is it worth the sacrifice?  Only you know the answer to that question.  But I would think it's probably "yes."  Because otherwise you wouldn't be on this forum.

    GOOD LUCK!
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  • esstee33esstee33 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    vikinganna87 said:
    I really like the dress.  You're lucky to have such a beautiful body that probably looks awesome in most dresses.

    That being said, even if you're on a tight budget I personally think the dress is one of the most important things.  On the one hand you're only wearing it for one day.  On the other hand it's a "dress for a lifetime." (this is how I justified my expensive dress to my fiance). 

    If a few more weeks go by and you don't LOVE it, I think you should look for something else.  In the scheme of things, a couple of hundred dollars here or there shouldn't keep you from getting something that you love.  AND DESERVE.  Don't be shy about asking that wealthy aunt (or friend) of yours for an advance on your wedding gift.  Be creative about financing.

    Of course, everything is about priorities.  If you spend more on the dress, you have to be thrifty in other areas.  Or live on Ramen for longer than you expected.  Is it worth the sacrifice?  Only you know the answer to that question.  But I would think it's probably "yes."  Because otherwise you wouldn't be on this forum.

    GOOD LUCK!
    Tell me you're joking and you aren't actually so rude to ask your relatives to fund a dress because you're too shitty with budgeting to just get what you can afford. Please. That is horrendous advice. 

    And to someone on a tight budget, a couple hundred dollars can be very significant. Unless you've figured out a way to just magically pull money from your ass, in which case I'd love to hear about it. 
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  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    vikinganna87 said:
    I really like the dress.  You're lucky to have such a beautiful body that probably looks awesome in most dresses.

    That being said, even if you're on a tight budget I personally think the dress is one of the most important things.  On the one hand you're only wearing it for one day.  On the other hand it's a "dress for a lifetime." (this is how I justified my expensive dress to my fiance). 

    If a few more weeks go by and you don't LOVE it, I think you should look for something else.  In the scheme of things, a couple of hundred dollars here or there shouldn't keep you from getting something that you love.  AND DESERVE.  Don't be shy about asking that wealthy aunt (or friend) of yours for an advance on your wedding gift.  Be creative about financing.

    Of course, everything is about priorities.  If you spend more on the dress, you have to be thrifty in other areas.  Or live on Ramen for longer than you expected.  Is it worth the sacrifice?  Only you know the answer to that question.  But I would think it's probably "yes."  Because otherwise you wouldn't be on this forum.

    GOOD LUCK!

    The bolded is terrible advice!  Do not ask anyone to fund your wedding or your dress!!!!! IF someone offers you money you can accept but DO NOT ASK for money!!!

    That said my original comment stands...I think you will like it much better when you try it on again in your size, but if you don't you can always look for an alternative.

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  • mama2stepmamamama2stepmama member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    esstee33 said:
    vikinganna87 said:
    I really like the dress.  You're lucky to have such a beautiful body that probably looks awesome in most dresses.

    That being said, even if you're on a tight budget I personally think the dress is one of the most important things.  On the one hand you're only wearing it for one day.  On the other hand it's a "dress for a lifetime." (this is how I justified my expensive dress to my fiance). 

    If a few more weeks go by and you don't LOVE it, I think you should look for something else.  In the scheme of things, a couple of hundred dollars here or there shouldn't keep you from getting something that you love.  AND DESERVE.  Don't be shy about asking that wealthy aunt (or friend) of yours for an advance on your wedding gift.  Be creative about financing.

    Of course, everything is about priorities.  If you spend more on the dress, you have to be thrifty in other areas.  Or live on Ramen for longer than you expected.  Is it worth the sacrifice?  Only you know the answer to that question.  But I would think it's probably "yes."  Because otherwise you wouldn't be on this forum.

    GOOD LUCK!
    Tell me you're joking and you aren't actually so rude to ask your relatives to fund a dress because you're too shitty with budgeting to just get what you can afford. Please. That is horrendous advice. 

    And to someone on a tight budget, a couple hundred dollars can be very significant. Unless you've figured out a way to just magically pull money from your ass, in which case I'd love to hear about it. 

    ^^^^^^ why are so many people on this site so mean?? Would you ever in a million years say this to someone's face? No! Because that would make you a mean person! Maybe some people do have a wealthy aunt who would love to help pay for a dress, who knows? But what gives you the right to call her out like that and make her feel bad! Cyber bullying is rampant on The Knot and it has got to stop. The golden rule should apply to us even when we are safe behind a computer screen! If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.
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  • nicole4793nicole4793 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I think your dress is absolutely beautiful and not frumpy at all!! Once it's altered, it'll be a little more form fitting, and I think that will make you feel more like a gorgeous bride! Once I bought my dress, I obsessed over it and had awful dress regret. Not looking at dresses online anymore definitely helped. I also stopped constantly looking at the pictures of myself in the dress because I felt like I was just looking for details to pick apart. Seriously though, you are going to look amazing once that dress is altered! :)

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    mama2stepmama said:
    esstee33 said:
    vikinganna87 said:
    I really like the dress.  You're lucky to have such a beautiful body that probably looks awesome in most dresses.

    That being said, even if you're on a tight budget I personally think the dress is one of the most important things.  On the one hand you're only wearing it for one day.  On the other hand it's a "dress for a lifetime." (this is how I justified my expensive dress to my fiance). 

    If a few more weeks go by and you don't LOVE it, I think you should look for something else.  In the scheme of things, a couple of hundred dollars here or there shouldn't keep you from getting something that you love.  AND DESERVE.  Don't be shy about asking that wealthy aunt (or friend) of yours for an advance on your wedding gift.  Be creative about financing.

    Of course, everything is about priorities.  If you spend more on the dress, you have to be thrifty in other areas.  Or live on Ramen for longer than you expected.  Is it worth the sacrifice?  Only you know the answer to that question.  But I would think it's probably "yes."  Because otherwise you wouldn't be on this forum.

    GOOD LUCK!
    Tell me you're joking and you aren't actually so rude to ask your relatives to fund a dress because you're too shitty with budgeting to just get what you can afford. Please. That is horrendous advice. 

    And to someone on a tight budget, a couple hundred dollars can be very significant. Unless you've figured out a way to just magically pull money from your ass, in which case I'd love to hear about it. 

    ^^^^^^ why are so many people on this site so mean?? Would you ever in a million years say this to someone's face? No! Because that would make you a mean person! Maybe some people do have a wealthy aunt who would love to help pay for a dress, who knows? But what gives you the right to call her out like that and make her feel bad! Cyber bullying is rampant on The Knot and it has got to stop. The golden rule should apply to us even when we are safe behind a computer screen! If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.
    You have posted similar sentiments on multiple boards and multiple threads. I highly recommend that you read the TOS associated with TK. Nothing about this is against the TOS for this website.

    It's not "mean" to point out that asking someone for money is rude. It IS rude. ASKING FOR MONEY IS RUDE. If people want to give you money they will. But it's ALWAYS rude to ask. Weddings are not an exception.

    If two adults are getting married, they can pay for stuff themselves. For pete's sake, it's not complicated, or mean, or negative. It's life.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • esstee33esstee33 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2014
    mama2stepmama said: esstee33 said: vikinganna87 said: I really like the dress.  You're lucky to have such a beautiful body that probably looks awesome in most dresses.

    That being said, even if you're on a tight budget I personally think the dress is one of the most important things.  On the one hand you're only wearing it for one day.  On the other hand it's a "dress for a lifetime." (this is how I justified my expensive dress to my fiance). 

    If a few more weeks go by and you don't LOVE it, I think you should look for something else.  In the scheme of things, a couple of hundred dollars here or there shouldn't keep you from getting something that you love.  AND DESERVE.  Don't be shy about asking that wealthy aunt (or friend) of yours for an advance on your wedding gift.  Be creative about financing.

    Of course, everything is about priorities.  If you spend more on the dress, you have to be thrifty in other areas.  Or live on Ramen for longer than you expected.  Is it worth the sacrifice?  Only you know the answer to that question.  But I would think it's probably "yes."  Because otherwise you wouldn't be on this forum.

    GOOD LUCK!
    Tell me you're joking and you aren't actually so rude to ask your relatives to fund a dress because you're too shitty with budgeting to just get what you can afford. Please. That is horrendous advice. 
    And to someone on a tight budget, a couple hundred dollars can be very significant. Unless you've figured out a way to just magically pull money from your ass, in which case I'd love to hear about it. 
    ^^^^^^ why are so many people on this site so mean?? Would you ever in a million years say this to someone's face? No! Because that would make you a mean person! Maybe some people do have a wealthy aunt who would love to help pay for a dress, who knows? But what gives you the right to call her out like that and make her feel bad! Cyber bullying is rampant on The Knot and it has got to stop. The golden rule should apply to us even when we are safe behind a computer screen! If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.
    *********************

    I don't think you actually understand what bullying is, but OK. Disagreeing with someone and telling them their idea is rude and not to give other people the same shitty advice is not bullying. It IS rude to ask her wealthy aunt for money. That's her aunt's money, and getting married doesn't entitle you to other people's money. If her aunt wants to fund her dress, I'm sure she's smart enough to know that offering to buy it would be appreciated. 
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    mama2stepmama said:
    esstee33 said:
    vikinganna87 said:
    I really like the dress.  You're lucky to have such a beautiful body that probably looks awesome in most dresses.

    That being said, even if you're on a tight budget I personally think the dress is one of the most important things.  On the one hand you're only wearing it for one day.  On the other hand it's a "dress for a lifetime." (this is how I justified my expensive dress to my fiance). 

    If a few more weeks go by and you don't LOVE it, I think you should look for something else.  In the scheme of things, a couple of hundred dollars here or there shouldn't keep you from getting something that you love.  AND DESERVE.  Don't be shy about asking that wealthy aunt (or friend) of yours for an advance on your wedding gift.  Be creative about financing.

    Of course, everything is about priorities.  If you spend more on the dress, you have to be thrifty in other areas.  Or live on Ramen for longer than you expected.  Is it worth the sacrifice?  Only you know the answer to that question.  But I would think it's probably "yes."  Because otherwise you wouldn't be on this forum.

    GOOD LUCK!
    Tell me you're joking and you aren't actually so rude to ask your relatives to fund a dress because you're too shitty with budgeting to just get what you can afford. Please. That is horrendous advice. 

    And to someone on a tight budget, a couple hundred dollars can be very significant. Unless you've figured out a way to just magically pull money from your ass, in which case I'd love to hear about it. 

    ^^^^^^ why are so many people on this site so mean?? Would you ever in a million years say this to someone's face? No! Because that would make you a mean person! Maybe some people do have a wealthy aunt who would love to help pay for a dress, who knows? But what gives you the right to call her out like that and make her feel bad! Cyber bullying is rampant on The Knot and it has got to stop. The golden rule should apply to us even when we are safe behind a computer screen! If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.
    Guess I'm a mean person then, because if someone told me they were going or were advising someone else to ask another person for money for a wedding gown I would absolutely tell them that's rude.

    Also, you calling 'cyber bullying' over this does not do any favors to true victims of bullying. Please stop using those words unless someone is actually threatening violence or telling someone they should commit suicide or the million other awful things real bullies do.
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  • Knottie31052159Knottie31052159 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Hi everyone!

    First of all, I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone for your reassurance and encouragement.

    I am feeling so much better about the dress now and more hopeful about the outcome of alterations. I think I'm definitely going to go ahead with alterations and keep the dress as buying a new dress would have to cut out my hair and makeup budget and I really would like to have those things professionally done. 

    My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, which is why there really isn't a lot of wiggle room for the budget. If only we had a rich aunt to call upon ;) but we will be doing this on our own with what savings we have and I'm feeling better and better about finding a 99.00 solution!

    Really, thank you so much for everyone who's commented and taken the time to make me feel better. The dress search will stop now and I will look forward to alterations (and I will not be using David's Bridal! ;)
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  • Knottie31052159Knottie31052159 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Oh-- and if anyone has any advice re: what veil length would look best?

    I was thinking a single layer fingertip veil, but am not sure if I should consider a longer one?

    Thanks!
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  • Knottie31052159Knottie31052159 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Also! Hair? Honestly not sure what style would go well with this dress! Up/down? Curly/loose/sleek? 
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  • nicole4793nicole4793 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I think a fingertip veil would be absolutely perfect with small and dainty detailing around it! Nothing too complicated since the details on the top of your dress are so gorgeous. As for hair, I would personally wear it down in loose curls. Hair also depends on the time of year though because your hair would definitely look beautiful up too if you had some sort of braid.   

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I think a finger tip veil would look great but with that dress, I think a single layer chapel would look better.

    As far as hair, how do you like it? For me, if I'm dancing, I know myself well enough that I know I'll throw it up. So I just did a full on updo. My hair looks better down but I was going for comfort and function so I could just focus on the moment. I think this depends on your comfort level and personality.
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  • hellohkbhellohkb mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2014
    mama2stepmama said:
    esstee33 said:
    vikinganna87 said:
    I really like the dress.  You're lucky to have such a beautiful body that probably looks awesome in most dresses.

    That being said, even if you're on a tight budget I personally think the dress is one of the most important things.  On the one hand you're only wearing it for one day.  On the other hand it's a "dress for a lifetime." (this is how I justified my expensive dress to my fiance). 

    If a few more weeks go by and you don't LOVE it, I think you should look for something else.  In the scheme of things, a couple of hundred dollars here or there shouldn't keep you from getting something that you love.  AND DESERVE.  Don't be shy about asking that wealthy aunt (or friend) of yours for an advance on your wedding gift.  Be creative about financing.

    Of course, everything is about priorities.  If you spend more on the dress, you have to be thrifty in other areas.  Or live on Ramen for longer than you expected.  Is it worth the sacrifice?  Only you know the answer to that question.  But I would think it's probably "yes."  Because otherwise you wouldn't be on this forum.

    GOOD LUCK!
    Tell me you're joking and you aren't actually so rude to ask your relatives to fund a dress because you're too shitty with budgeting to just get what you can afford. Please. That is horrendous advice. 

    And to someone on a tight budget, a couple hundred dollars can be very significant. Unless you've figured out a way to just magically pull money from your ass, in which case I'd love to hear about it. 

    ^^^^^^ why are so many people on this site so mean?? Would you ever in a million years say this to someone's face? No! Because that would make you a mean person! Maybe some people do have a wealthy aunt who would love to help pay for a dress, who knows? But what gives you the right to call her out like that and make her feel bad! Cyber bullying is rampant on The Knot and it has got to stop. The golden rule should apply to us even when we are safe behind a computer screen! If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.
    What people say on TK is not cyber bullying and it's gross that this is what you are comparing it to. For the record, I would say this in person. 

    We know it is rude to burp and pick your nose in public. We know it is rude to ask someone what their weight is. I am sure you would think it is horrendously rude if someone did that, and I am sure you would have something to say. So why is it okay to beg for money? And why is it NOT okay to call someone out on that rudeness?


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  • hellohkbhellohkb mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    OP, the dress is absolutely beautiful on you. I thought it was a very expensive gown looking at it. Glad to hear that you feel better and that your dress shopping is over!

    For a veil, I agree that a fingertip length is fine. How do you prefer your hair? In what way do you feel most beautiful?


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  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Knottie31052159 said:
    Oh-- and if anyone has any advice re: what veil length would look best?

    I was thinking a single layer fingertip veil, but am not sure if I should consider a longer one?

    Thanks!


    I think anything to the elbow or longer would work but I agree to keep it to a single layer and allow the dress details to show!

     

    Knottie31052159 said:
    Also! Hair? Honestly not sure what style would go well with this dress! Up/down? Curly/loose/sleek? 

    What is your natural hair like?  What time of year are you getting married?  What make you feel the best?

    I think your hair can be anything you want on your wedding day.  I tend to pull my hair back a lot but I (and my H) think it looks best down...so I left it down.  Additionally we got married in August and my hair is naturally a loose curl, so I decided to work with it and the weather and had the stylist touch up the loose curls I already had.  I did pull back a bit on the very top to keep it off my face and to create a "bump" for the headband and veil I wore.

    If you aren't sure what to do, just look around on google and ask yourself what you like the best!

    Good luck and glad your happier with your dress purchase now!

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  • rainbows0215rainbows0215 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Answer
    Your dress is pretty and once it fits you will look wonderful. I like how it fits around your hips. everybody is wright alternation are cheaper else where. My dress is getting altered for about 45.00 down the street from my house, It does not need to be hemmed. 
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