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What is a good etiquette for a second wedding but his first?????

Jenfr00Jenfr00 member
in Second Weddings
I just got engaged and this is my second and his first time. I had the big catholic wedding the first time with a large reception. I went all out. I want it to be a little simpler this time. But I just don't know how to go about planning and he wants to have his friends stand up in the wedding. I don't blame him and I know my close friends are looking forward to this wedding. They say I picked the right one.(my first one was a cheater). So just looking for opinions to see which is the right way to go?????
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Re: What is a good etiquette for a second wedding but his first?????

  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    It's a very personal thing for each couple! Etiquette is about hosting your guests properly, not about the style of wedding you have. You can have a small, casual wedding and as long as your guests are comfortable, you're golden!

    I just recommend sitting down with your FI and coming to a consensus on what you'd like to do, what you can afford, and what best fits your combined vision.

     







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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Jells2dot0 said:
    It's a very personal thing for each couple! Etiquette is about hosting your guests properly, not about the style of wedding you have. You can have a small, casual wedding and as long as your guests are comfortable, you're golden! I just recommend sitting down with your FI and coming to a consensus on what you'd like to do, what you can afford, and what best fits your combined vision.
    This. Talk to your FI, plan what you can afford and suits the two of you. GL!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • amb1062amb1062 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    I was in the exact same situation as you.  I had gotten married fairly young the first time, and was divorced within the year.  And, my DH had never been married before! I also had the big wedding the first time with the whole shabang.  We had a much more laid back wedding the second time around.  Our list was only about 100 people, a lot of my relatives didn't come to it since it was my 'second' (won't get into that drama) and we didn't even do a sit-down dinner.  It was GREAT!! Such a good time and people still rave about it.  You can still have a wedding party and keep it laid back and small.  See what your fiance wants, but in my situation it was easy because my husband didn't want a big blow-out wedding!

    Oh, and PS.  I had a Catholic ceremony BOTH times.  I had my first marriage annulled, really easy process!
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  • vegasbride2015vegasbride2015 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Personally, I wanted to elope. And yeah, frown on it, whatever, it was what I originally wanted. However, when I came to think about it, this is also my fiance's first marriage, my second. We discussed it in length, and even though he insisted on us having the wedding I always wanted (because my first was a joke), I told him that this is not just about me, that this is also about him and that we really should invite his family because he is the first born and I want them to be invited and be there for the celebration of our commitment and love to each other. He was happy I said this, and he agreed, and wanted to marry in Vegas as well, so that's where we are headed.

    So the moral of the story? Definitely discuss with your fiance on what he wants as well. And even if he insists that this is "your" day, it's about the two of you. Good luck!
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    vegasbride2015 said:
    Personally, I wanted to elope. And yeah, frown on it, whatever, it was what I originally wanted. However, when I came to think about it, this is also my fiance's first marriage, my second. We discussed it in length, and even though he insisted on us having the wedding I always wanted (because my first was a joke), I told him that this is not just about me, that this is also about him and that we really should invite his family because he is the first born and I want them to be invited and be there for the celebration of our commitment and love to each other. He was happy I said this, and he agreed, and wanted to marry in Vegas as well, so that's where we are headed.

    So the moral of the story? Definitely discuss with your fiance on what he wants as well. And even if he insists that this is "your" day, it's about the two of you. Good luck!
    What's wrong with eloping? It's what we did! We planned an awesome trip, got married while we were away, and told everyone when we got back. It was a dream come true for us, and even though we both had been married before, we would wanted the same thing for a first marriage.

     







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  • vegasbride2015vegasbride2015 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Jells2dot0 said:
    vegasbride2015 said:
    Personally, I wanted to elope. And yeah, frown on it, whatever, it was what I originally wanted. However, when I came to think about it, this is also my fiance's first marriage, my second. We discussed it in length, and even though he insisted on us having the wedding I always wanted (because my first was a joke), I told him that this is not just about me, that this is also about him and that we really should invite his family because he is the first born and I want them to be invited and be there for the celebration of our commitment and love to each other. He was happy I said this, and he agreed, and wanted to marry in Vegas as well, so that's where we are headed.

    So the moral of the story? Definitely discuss with your fiance on what he wants as well. And even if he insists that this is "your" day, it's about the two of you. Good luck!
    What's wrong with eloping? It's what we did! We planned an awesome trip, got married while we were away, and told everyone when we got back. It was a dream come true for us, and even though we both had been married before, we would wanted the same thing for a first marriage.
    I thought it was frowned upon by a lot of people on this board? I apologize, I hope I didn't offend you! I was hoping for an elopement, but I want my fiance's family to get the chance to experience a wedding, and there would be an uproar if we did. It's tough.
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Elopements are definitely not frowned upon! What's frowned upon are when people elope and then decide it wasn't good enough for them, so they throw a re-enactment wedding so their friends and family can see them exchange vows. Or the couple elopes and doesn't tell anyone they are legally married and then have the traditional ceremony and reception where the guests think they are witnessing the real thing. 

    No offense taken at all, but wanted to share a story of a successful elopement. 

     







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  • vegasbride2015vegasbride2015 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    That totally makes sense, thank you for explaining that to me. 
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  • AzAnnieAzAnnie member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Second for me, first for him as well. I wanted just him and I on a beach or maybe in Vegas, but we have been told by his parents that if they aren't present, they will never speak to us again. I really love and respect his parents, so we have agreed to a small family only ceremony with a dinner. The only problem is that we will have to keep it super on the down low, because certain people in his family will crash! He still wants to do a BBQ type thing back East for his extended family which we are trying to work out, but at least we have compromise that works for us.
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