Hi ladies - this may be a bit of a post and run since this evening's festivities are fast approaching. Just really needed to complain to someone before I melt down into a functionless puddle.
So, today is my dad's birthday and I knew I'd be the one to organize the family celebration. In years past, my dad has been notorious for being a wee bit picky and entitled - he's gotten MUCH better about it in recent history, but I continue to feel the expectation that awesome things happen, and I know he'd love to get some nice surprises. Add that to the fact that I am pretty much the worst at picking out gifts for people, and this situation causes me a lot of stress.
Well, I started today by making a German chocolate cake, my dad's favorite. One of the layers fell COMPLETELY apart when I tried to get it out of the pan. It is now sitting in a pile on the stove. No big deal; I have the other layer left with some pretty incredible icing on it, so I'm going to let myself count that as one item checked off.
Gifts: I'm embarrassed. I found a nice card that my dad will love, but as far as stuff to open, I got him gift cards to some restaurants he likes and will pick up his favorite chocolate before I see him. That's IT. I've got all kinds of excuses - basically being broke while waiting to start my new job, saving up to get him some nicer stuff for Christmas in a few months (I already know one thing I'll be ordering once I have the money), planning our trip to Sicily that should coincide with his next birthday (THAT is something I know I can plan some fun surprises for; I'm a good traveler). But I just feel so bad that basically that's all he'll get to open today - my one younger brother, T, is getting even less work hours than I am right now, so he was pretty much able to buy a card and chip in a little bit on the gift cards. My other brother S...that is the next issue.
So, S just started his new job last week. On Tuesday when I saw him, I asked if he was going to be working tonight. He told me maybe, but that he could try to get off. I asked him to let me know either way and never heard back from him. So I texted him today to ask when we could pick him up (his license is suspended right now and he lives about an hour away). He wrote back and was like, "Um, I have to work until 8. Did you not consider that while you were planning Dad's birthday?" Um, I already asked him to tell me if he was able to get off TWO DAYS AGO! Plus, birthdays are the same every year, so it's not like he didn't know we'd be doing something tonight. And if he'd told me he couldn't get off, I'm sure we could have arranged to celebrate on Sunday, but at this point I don't want to move everything and tell my dad, "No, sorry, you're going to be alone the actual day of your birthday because we have to change plans last minute for S's sake."
I texted S back just to say I was sorry he wouldn't be able to come tonight and that I was sure we'd all get together soon. He wrote this back: "I would have been able to make it if you'd reminded me. Mom told me you were in charge of planning. You're a shitty planner if you don't make sure your own family member can make it." S has always been a brat when he doesn't get his own way, so I'm trying not to take that to heart, but OUCH. I did what I could to make sure he'd be there, and I'm frustrated that he's acting like I didn't make a reasonable effort to include him.
Finally, I did some research and found a restaurant I thought my dad would like. It's kind of far away, but he loves trying new places and we often travel to that area to try new food together. So I called to ask what time he wanted to eat tonight so I could plan on picking him up, and he was basically like, "I don't feel like driving today. Can we go someplace closer?" I made some suggestions that he didn't really like. Eventually we settled on a local place we've been before - decent food, but nothing too exciting.
So that's it. That's ALL I've got for tonight. A tried and true restaurant, half a German chocolate cake, some gift cards, and 2 out of 3 kids. I just feel super shitty right now. My dad and I have always had a weird relationship, but it's been on the mend lately and I'm just sad that this birthday doesn't seem to reflect that.
ERG. Thanks for reading and letting me get that out. At least after tonight it'll be over for a little while - then just gotta get through the holidays.