Reception Timing Issue

stepana44 · October 2014

Right now, my dinner is scheduled for 5-6, which includes intro, blessing, toasts, cake cutting. That seems very rushed. Then with special dances and such we will only have open dance for about 1.5 hours, with the entire thing ending at 9pm. We are having an after party downstairs of the reception venue. However, I still feel like the reception will be very rushed and I'm not sure what to do. I want to have a good time and remember the entire day not run around like a crazy person doing x,y,z and trying to fit it all in to a certain cramped time period.

However, I do have the option of adding an additional hour which I want to do, but is it worth it? It will be around 1,400 to add the extra hour of open bar. OR close the bar and dance for an additional hour for $700 due to labor costs. This seems ridiculous to me- if there is no food being handed out and no drinks, where are all the labor costs coming from?! The staff will basically just be hanging out this hour and I know this is not their hourly rate. What do you ladies think? Is a 3 hour reception long enough? Or should I make it 4, with bar or no bar?

vmj23 · October 2014

I think no matter what, the day is going to fly by. My cocktail hour was 6-7 and then reception 7-11 and it went so fast. I couldn't imagine it being an hour shorter. If you have the option and it's in your budget to extend, i would make it 4 hours.

emmyg65 · October 2014

My one wedding regret is that we agreed to end the reception at 10:30 pm. The party was just get started! If you can afford it, add the extra hour.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

stepana44 said:

Right now, my dinner is scheduled for 5-6, which includes intro, blessing, toasts, cake cutting. That seems very rushed. Then with special dances and such we will only have open dance for about 1.5 hours, with the entire thing ending at 9pm. We are having an after party downstairs of the reception venue. However, I still feel like the reception will be very rushed and I'm not sure what to do. I want to have a good time and remember the entire day not run around like a crazy person doing x,y,z and trying to fit it all in to a certain cramped time period.

However, I do have the option of adding an additional hour which I want to do, but is it worth it? It will be around 1,400 to add the extra hour of open bar. OR close the bar and dance for an additional hour for $700 due to labor costs. This seems ridiculous to me- if there is no food being handed out and no drinks, where are all the labor costs coming from?! The staff will basically just be hanging out this hour and I know this is not their hourly rate. What do you ladies think? Is a 3 hour reception long enough? Or should I make it 4, with bar or no bar?

This isn't adding up. It goes til 9 with 1.5 hours of open dancing, so that means dancing starts at 7:30. What is happening between the end of dinner at 6 and open dancing at 7:30? You can't POSSIBLY have 1.5 hours of spotlight dances. Those should take no longer than 15 minutes.

You can have your toasts take place while people are starting to eat, but they should only be about 2 minutes apiece. An hour is long enough to eat dinner. If you have a buffet and are worried about how long it will take people to get their food, you can always do your spotlight dances while they're finishing their meals.

What about:

5:00-5:10 grand entrance, introductions and cake cutting

5:10-6:15 toasts and dinner

6:00-6:15 (at latest) spotlight dances

6:15-9:00 open dance floor

stepana44 · October 2014

It will be a total of about 1.5 hours dancing, not straight dancing 1.5 hours. In my circle, receptions get cut up between the events (special dances, garter, etc). Here is the schedule now:

5-6 intro, cake cut, blessing, dinner, toasts

6- 6:30 Open dance floor

6:30 Father/Daughter, Mother/Son, Anniversary dance

6:45 Open dance

7:15 Dollar Dance

8:00 Garter/bouquet

8:10-9 open dance

Please do not rip in to me about the dollar dance. I am a very active lurker here and know the opinions on dollar dances. However, my family is HUGE in to them (very Polish family in Pittsburgh where not having one is considered obscene and rude) and even if we chose not to do it, my family would force it on us the day of and I don't want to deal with that stress.

vmj23 · October 2014

I have no concept of the timing at my wedding..it is all a blur and not having a watch or phone on me i just went with the flow of what i was told to do when, but 1 hour def does not seem long enough for intros, cake cutting, blessing, dinner and toasts.

STARMOON44 · October 2014

stepana44 said:
It will be a total of about 1.5 hours dancing, not straight dancing 1.5 hours. In my circle, receptions get cut up between the events (special dances, garter, etc). Here is the schedule now:

5-6 intro, cake cut, blessing, dinner, toasts
6- 6:30 Open dance floor
6:30 Father/Daughter, Mother/Son, Anniversary dance
6:45 Open dance
7:15 Dollar Dance
8:00 Garter/bouquet
8:10-9 open dance

Please do not rip in to me about the dollar dance. I am a very active lurker here and know the opinions on dollar dances. However, my family is HUGE in to them (very Polish family in Pittsburgh where not having one is considered obscene and rude) and even if we chose not to do it, my family would force it on us the day of and I don't want to deal with that stress.

If you're worried about not having enough time, maybe don't break it up so much?
Do spotlight dances from 6-6:10, and toss your bouquet at 8:45 to signal the end. And 45 mins for a dollar dance?!? At the very least, please have your DJ invite everyone else to keep dancing during that time.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

STARMOON44 said:

It will be a total of about 1.5 hours dancing, not straight dancing 1.5 hours. In my circle, receptions get cut up between the events (special dances, garter, etc). Here is the schedule now:

5-6 intro, cake cut, blessing, dinner, toasts
6- 6:30 Open dance floor
6:30 Father/Daughter, Mother/Son, Anniversary dance
6:45 Open dance
7:15 Dollar Dance
8:00 Garter/bouquet
8:10-9 open dance

Please do not rip in to me about the dollar dance. I am a very active lurker here and know the opinions on dollar dances. However, my family is HUGE in to them (very Polish family in Pittsburgh where not having one is considered obscene and rude) and even if we chose not to do it, my family would force it on us the day of and I don't want to deal with that stress.
If you're worried about not having enough time, maybe don't break it up so much? Do spotlight dances from 6-6:10, and toss your bouquet at 8:45 to signal the end. And 45 mins for a dollar dance?!? At the very least, please have your DJ invite everyone else to keep dancing during that time.

Yeah I wouldn't schedule it that strictly, and DEFINITELY shorten that dollar dance and keep the floor open! 45 minutes is entirely too long for everyone to watch other people awkwardly dance with you. Even if they're all expecting it. I would die of boredom.

We didn't have garter or bouquet tosses, but my DJ said if we wanted them he would just slot them in at fitting times. Then they really only take a few minutes - not even the length of a whole song.

Why are you opening the dance floor before the spotlight dances? Typically the end of those is seen as the cue that the dance floor is open - and that way you don't have to clear the dance floor for them. Or will the dance floor remain open while they're happening?

JoanE2012 · October 2014

stepana44 said:

It will be a total of about 1.5 hours dancing, not straight dancing 1.5 hours. In my circle, receptions get cut up between the events (special dances, garter, etc). Here is the schedule now:

5-6 intro, cake cut, blessing, dinner, toasts
6- 6:30 Open dance floor
6:30 Father/Daughter, Mother/Son, Anniversary dance
6:45 Open dance
7:15 Dollar Dance
8:00 Garter/bouquet
8:10-9 open dance

Please do not rip in to me about the dollar dance. I am a very active lurker here and know the opinions on dollar dances. However, my family is HUGE in to them (very Polish family in Pittsburgh where not having one is considered obscene and rude) and even if we chose not to do it, my family would force it on us the day of and I don't want to deal with that stress.

Change it up. You don't have to break up because that's what's always done in your circle. As a guest, I would find it incredibly annoying to have the party interrupted to do all those things. Get them done early, get them out of the way, and let people enjoy the rest of the night dancing and having a good time.

And for the love of God, please don't have a 45 minute dollar dance. I already find them incredibly rude and if I saw it going on for more than 5 min that would be my cue to leave and head home.

wrigleyville · October 2014

I get bored with a Dollar Dance after 10 minutes. I would straight-up leave if that stupid thing lasted 45 minutes.

My family is HUGE and Polish and from Detroit, so I do know where you're coming from. BUT, I held my ground and refused to have a Dollar Dance. (Some family members thanked me afterward. It turned out they were always bored and hated them too.)

You are paying your DJ, so he/she should honor your request to refuse to allow a family member to set one up. You can say no.

JCbride2015 · October 2014

Yeah, I'd eliminate the dollar dance or if it's a cultural thing you just can't get rid of, a) keep everybody else dancing during that time and b) keep it to 5 or 10 minutes. You don't want the whole party to come grinding to a halt for that.

stepana44 · October 2014

I will keep it the dollar dance to 30 minutes. We are having a larger wedding and it wont be fair to shut it down when everyone hasnt had a chance to dance. I was at a wedding once that the dollar dance was about 20 min with 200 people. Half of the people didnt get to dance to with bride, including my mom. She STILL talks about how that ruined the wedding for her. I also will probably have the special dances directly after dinner. I was advised by vendors to break it up this way so people wouldn't have to wait much longer after dinner to start dancing, but I think due to my time constraints what you suggest makes more sense.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

stepana44 said:

I will keep it the dollar dance to 30 minutes. We are having a larger wedding and it wont be fair to shut it down when everyone hasnt had a chance to dance. I was at a wedding once that the dollar dance was about 20 min with 200 people. Half of the people didnt get to dance to with bride, including my mom. She STILL talks about how that ruined the wedding for her. I also will probably have the special dances directly after dinner. I was advised by vendors to break it up this way so people wouldn't have to wait much longer after dinner to start dancing, but I think due to my time constraints what you suggest makes more sense.

If you keep the dance floor open to other couples while the dollar dance is going on, you can go as long as you like. Trust me, NOBODY wants to watch two people awkwardly sway on an empty dance floor for 30 minutes when there's nothing else to do but watch.

Although I will never understand why people think they can't dance with the bride outside of the dollar dance. :-/

stepana44 · October 2014

You will all disagree with me but my circle's dollar dances are not awkward to watch at all. I could definitely see that if it is slow dancing. However we use all fast polka songs and polka dance so it's fun and upbeat and entertaining to watch. I know not every single person will join. Those who aren't into it can go mingle with friends, get a drink, were having a cigar bar, etc. I absolutely have no objections to keeping the dance floor open. However, since it's traditional polka most people won't just randomly polka by themselves/friends while the DD is going on.

JoanE2012 · October 2014

stepana44 said:
You will all disagree with me but my circle's dollar dances are not awkward to watch at all. I could definitely see that if it is slow dancing. However we use all fast polka songs and polka dance so it's fun and upbeat and entertaining to watch. I know not every single person will join. Those who aren't into it can go mingle with friends, get a drink, were having a cigar bar, etc. I absolutely have no objections to keeping the dance floor open. However, since it's traditional polka most people won't just randomly polka by themselves/friends while the DD is going on.

It actually sounds like fun. Too bad money has to be involved.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

stepana44 said:

You will all disagree with me but my circle's dollar dances are not awkward to watch at all. I could definitely see that if it is slow dancing. However we use all fast polka songs and polka dance so it's fun and upbeat and entertaining to watch. I know not every single person will join. Those who aren't into it can go mingle with friends, get a drink, were having a cigar bar, etc. I absolutely have no objections to keeping the dance floor open. However, since it's traditional polka most people won't just randomly polka by themselves/friends while the DD is going on.

Well regardless of whether it's fun to watch or not, if you're concerned about not having enough open dance time then that's an easy solution.

If you must take up a full hour of your reception between spotlight dances, dollar dance, and bouquet/garter, then yes I think you should pay for the extra hour+bar.

ETA but hey, you'll have all that money from your dance to pay for it. >.<

lyndausvi · October 2014

45 min dollar is a long time. Cut that down are you will have more time to party. I'm not a fan of the garter toss or bouquet either. Actually I've seen them less and less these days.

When is your first dance?

5-6:15 intro, cake cut, blessing, dinner, toasts

6:15- 7:00 Open dance floor

7:00 Father/Daughter, Mother/Son, Anniversary dance (should take only 10 mins tops (3-4 mins a song.)

7:10 open up dance floor

7:45 - 8:15 Dollar Dance

8:15 open dance floor

8:50 garter/bouquet toss

doeydo · October 2014

You could/should use Monopoly money instead, ask for notes of advice, or just, you know, dance with people without asking them for anything.

Kahlyla · October 2014

Well, I didn't do a bouquet toss, garter toss, dollar dance, anniversary dance, or a closed dance floor during parent dances. I think the only time the dance floor wasn't completely open was for the first verse of our first dance, lol. We don't like being the centre of attention, what can I say?

I understand if you want to keep some or all of those elements, but there are alternatives. Chances are, though, you probably won't regret extending the party if you can afford to do so. Good luck!

lyndausvi · October 2014

Kahlyla said:

Well, I didn't do a bouquet toss, garter toss, dollar dance, anniversary dance, or a closed dance floor during parent dances. I think the only time the dance floor wasn't completely open was for the first verse of our first dance, lol. We don't like being the centre of attention, what can I say?

I understand if you want to keep some or all of those elements, but there are alternatives. Chances are, though, you probably won't regret extending the party if you can afford to do so. Good luck!

We didn't have the bouquet or garter toss (gross) or anniversary dance. We had our first dance right after the intro then the dance floor was opened. People danced in between courses!

We did cake cutting which cleared the dance floor. While we did parent dances guests ate the cake. Total time for all 3 was about 15 minutes. Nice little break. Then back to dancing until the end.

wrigleyville · October 2014

Our family has fun dancing/watching the polka as well, so we always have a few polka songs played at our receptions. We don't charge money for it though.

Nymeru · October 2014

I agree that you should condense all of the mandatory reception-stopper stuff, and if you can actually afford it, definitely go for the extra hour of reception time. Everything goes so fast, you'll be glad you did it, and you won't be nearly so crunched for time.

annakay511 · November 2014

In short, yes, I think a 3 hour reception is too rushed.

Ours is 4 hours (including a cocktail hour starting at 7:00pm and ending at 11:00pm) and I still think I might want to add an extra 30 minutes to the end of the night!

So, if you can afford it, I don't think you will regret adding more time.

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