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The wedding gift without a card...

jenijoykjenijoyk member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm sure this has been asked and answered a million times.... but any tips on what to do about a blender that showed up at our wedding without a card? We've asked our ushers if they remember anyone bringing in the large bag, and we've asked our parents if they have any idea, but no one seems to know for sure who brought the mystery gift. We have two prime suspects, but it seems like there is no tactful way to bring it up with them in case neither of them actually brought a gift. I am a thank you card nazi though and I can't handle the thought of someone going through the trouble of getting us this nice blender and hauling it to my wedding and not getting a thank you note. Especially since I noticed that someone purchased it off our registery literally MONTHS ago. So they had this giant box just hanging out in their house for like 12 weeks. They deserve a thank you note!
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Re: The wedding gift without a card...

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Since it was purchased off your registry maybe you can contact the store to see if they have any record of who may have purchased it (if it was bought online).

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    JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
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    Agree with Maggie.  See if your registry tracked purchasers or can it least provide info that might help you narrow it down - zip code associated with purchase, for example, or store number (you might assume the purchaser would be closer to that particular store than another). 

    It might just be me, but I think if you are honest with people ("Some of the cards and gifts were jumbled around after the reception.  We're not sure who to thank for the blender."), a little more discreet probing with the two prime suspects wouldn't be the end of the world.  I'd be inclined to think people would rather be thanked and sure their gift reached you than wonder.
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    allispainallispain member
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    JaxInBlue said:
    Agree with Maggie.  See if your registry tracked purchasers or can it least provide info that might help you narrow it down - zip code associated with purchase, for example, or store number (you might assume the purchaser would be closer to that particular store than another). 

    It might just be me, but I think if you are honest with people ("Some of the cards and gifts were jumbled around after the reception.  We're not sure who to thank for the blender."), a little more discreet probing with the two prime suspects wouldn't be the end of the world.  I'd be inclined to think people would rather be thanked and sure their gift reached you than wonder.
    I agree. We had some jumbling happen at our wedding. One of the GM, thinking he was being helpful, put all of the cards in one of the gift bags, which meant we had no way of knowing who it was that gave us that particular gift (a hand-knitted afghan). After talking it over with my mom, we thought it was my aunt and uncle. She politely inquired with them while we were on the HM - it wasn't them. So then DH consulted his mom - turns out it was her. Problem solved. Had we not asked, we would have never known to thank her for that.
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    thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
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    Is there a gift receipt with a store number that might narrow down the location?  We had one mystery gift but the giver hadn't removed the packing slip (ordered online). Their name was on the shipping info.  
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    kns1988kns1988 member
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    Same thing happened to me and I haven't figured out a solution yet. I've asked my husband's parents, my family, and a few groups of friends if they knew who brought it - no luck. I also took the gift receipt to BBB to see if they could tell me who bought it or what store it was bought in, but they couldn't tell me anything. It's driving me crazy! 

    I love spreadsheets because I'm secretly Liz Lemon, and I had a spreadsheet for thank you notes to keep myself organized. I made a mark next to each guest's name as I wrote the TYs so that I wouldn't miss anyone. Because of that, I can easily see who didn't bring a gift (which is totally 100% fine because I don't require or expect gifts). There were at least 10 people who didn't, so I wasn't able to narrow it down by process of elimination. 

    I think at this point I have to just move on and hope that someone mentions it to me eventually. It sucks though.
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    PhoneCardLadyPhoneCardLady member
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    edited November 2014
    NWR, but years ago I received a sterling silver necklace from the Franklin Mint, but there was no gift card or anything that gave me a clue on who might have sent it.  I grilled everyone that I could think of but came up with nothing.  I mean I was taught to acknowledge anything I got from a young age, even if it was just verbally.

    Seven months later, my uncle died from cancer.  When we were talking with another aunt, I asked if I could speak with her. I asked if she had sent me the necklace and she said yes.  I apologized profusely and let know know what had happened.  She seemed so pleased that I had gotten it - she was afraid I never got it (and I didn't think of her sending me anything).

    Sadly she passed about four months later, but I was happy I knew who sent me that necklace and that I was able to find out and thank her before she died.  I still have that necklace today, which is an oval of silver with a 'forget me not' stamped on it.
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    jenijoykjenijoyk member
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    edited November 2014

    That's such a sweet story. I'm glad you solved the mystery and were able to thank her for it.

    Since the fancy blender, we've also recieved a lovely ceramic vase, stamped with our names and wedding date... and no card or shipping reciept with any clues on it. It's probably one of my favorite wedding gifts. And I have absolutely no clue who to thank. It's off registry and so personal I feel even worse about this than the fancy blender. :( All I can think of to do is make sure it's always out on our table when people come over and see if someone ever mentions it.

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    melbensomelbenso member
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    We were able to figure out who got us our cardless gift from our registry by checking with the store.  They couldn't tell us who bought it (since it had been bought in person with cash) but they were able to tell us which store it was purchased at.  Fortunately, we only had one set of wedding guests attend from the city the store was located in.  But it's worth a shot.

    If that hadn't worked, we were going to send an anonymous, blind Cced email to our suspects (making it sound like we sent it to everyone who attended the wedding) saying: Thank you all for coming to our wedding. So glad you were there.  Blah. Blah. Blah.  Does anyone know who got us X?  The card got detached and we want to be able to send them a proper thank you note.
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    hyechica81hyechica81 member
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    we had one gift without a card. i went on fb the next day and asked who send this lovely gift we are missing the card or it got seperated from the other stuff and we would like to know who send it to us 


    the person responded back they also had given us a gift in the card and were worried we did not get it but we had it 
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    JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
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    So proud of you for wanting to send a thank you gift and going out of your way to find out who to thank. I actually TOLD my boss after her shower that my card got detached from the gift, and all she said was "Oh, we had a couple mystery gifts and yours was one of them. Thank you for telling me" via text. Like, literally the only 'thank you' she could give me had to have 'for telling me' attached to it. I couldn't even construe it as a 'thank you for the gift' if I wanted to. 

    Sorry to everyone who's already heard this anecdote a million times. I'm still super bitter about it because I have to work with this woman every single day and she makes me stabby. Counting down the days until my semester ends and I start looking for a new job.......
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    jenijoykjenijoyk member
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    hyechica81 said:
    we had one gift without a card. i went on fb the next day and asked who send this lovely gift we are missing the card or it got seperated from the other stuff and we would like to know who send it to us 


    the person responded back they also had given us a gift in the card and were worried we did not get it but we had it 

    I am seriously considering putting a bunch of lovely flower clippings in the vase and taking a picture of it and posting it on facebook. It's so, so lovely and something my DH and I would absolutely have picked out for ourselves. This person has to know us well and had to have searched this vase out since it was off registry. THEY MUST BE THANKED!

    @jellyBean52513 she sounds like a pure JOY!

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    JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
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    jenijoyk said:
    hyechica81 said:
    we had one gift without a card. i went on fb the next day and asked who send this lovely gift we are missing the card or it got seperated from the other stuff and we would like to know who send it to us 


    the person responded back they also had given us a gift in the card and were worried we did not get it but we had it 

    I am seriously considering putting a bunch of lovely flower clippings in the vase and taking a picture of it and posting it on facebook. It's so, so lovely and something my DH and I would absolutely have picked out for ourselves. This person has to know us well and had to have searched this vase out since it was off registry. THEY MUST BE THANKED!

    @jellyBean52513 she sounds like a pure JOY!

    If joy were bitchy, rude, inconsiderate, immature, negative and completely incapable of being gracious and respectful, yeah that's her.
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    jenijoykjenijoyk member
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    Ugh. Bad bosses are the worst.
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