Undecided about religion in ceremony

Re: Undecided about religion in ceremony

• holyguacamole79 member

  

  November 2014 edited November 2014

  always4278 said:

  Hi everyone,

  
  

  Tonight my fiance and I met with the pastor at the church I was raised in and we really liked him.  Obviously that doesn't seem like a problem, but the issue is that my fiance is atheist and I'm much more agnostic at this point in my life. I know its important to me to have a spiritual component to our wedding but I'm not sure how far to take that.  The pastor at the church is willing to work to adapt the wedding ceremony to our needs but I feel I gave the impression I'm more religious than I am and now I'm feeling like maybe its not the right fit for us to have a religious figure marry us.  

  
  

  My mom's reaction when I told her we may not have a religious ceremony made me feel really conflicted about even my own stance on things.  I was raised very active in the church and my fiance and actually met at our church, went to church camp together as teens, and baptized our daughter there 3 years ago.  At this point in time we are not active at the church although our daughter does attend the preschool affiliated with them and my parents remain active members.  I still believe in God but much past that I'm not sure about.  I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts or has dealt with any situation similar to this.  I guess the hardest part for me is I'm truly unsure how much the more traditional Christian components matter to me in regards to the wedding. How do you stay true to yourselves as a couple amongst all the options out there as well as the pressure from family? 

  This needs to be a decision between you and your FI.  Your parents' reaction should not play any role in your decision on how to have your wedding ceremony. 
  
  It sounds like you feel comfortable talking to this pastor.  I suggest being completely honest with him regarding where you are in your faith journey.  Talk about your options and what is best for you and FI. 
  
  Have you looked at a Unitarian Universalist church?  Those congregations have a very wide range of parishioners, ranging from Christians to atheist. 
  
  Remember - to thine own self be true.
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLEdZb4PkGM

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• esstee33 member

  

  November 2014

  If you don't feel strongly about religion, don't have a religious ceremony just to appease your family or abide by people's expectations of you. Lots of people will think lots of things about how you should plan your wedding and what kind of ceremony you should have, but you and your FI need to make this decision for yourselves and determine what's important to YOU. If you were to make a pro vs. con list for having or not having a religious ceremony, what would be in those columns? Would there be anything in the pro column about you, or would it mostly be things that other people want? 

  
  

  If your FI is an atheist, is he actually OK with any religion in your ceremony? 

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• CMGragain member

  

  November 2014

  Unless you are Catholic or Episcopalian, your church does not regard marriage as a sacrament like communion, baptism, and confirmation.  It is the blessing of a secular contract between you and your husband-to-be.  Perhaps this helps.
  

  

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