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Dog Sitting Frustration - WWYD

So a few weeks ago H and I took a mini trip over the weekend where we'd be gone for one night.  We have someone that has watched our dog on our past few trips (which were longer week trips) and asked if she 'Sara' could watch 'Rex' again.  Sara is a recent friend of H's family and pet sits for other members of the family so I (did) trust her in our home.  The arrangement we had was pet/house sitting and they'd stay at the house.  This was mostly because Sara works all day so the only time Rex would have someone there would be over the night. We pay Sara per day as well as leave gift cards for the grocery down the street or for pizza, etc.

Anyways we go on our weekend trip leave Sat morning.  We knew she wouldn't be their until evening so MIL checked on Rex mid day.  She texts us late night and says all is well.  We are ahead of schedule Sunday and get home early afternoon versus early evening.  I notice that not a thing looks touched in the guest bedroom or bathroom, no sheets or towels were used.  We didn't text Sara that we were returning earlier than planned.  About 2 hours after we return Sara texts and says she's at the house and Rex is doing well.  Yeah.... so now I wonder how much she was really there...  I know this trip was a day, but what about when we were gone for a week??  Plus, if I wanted someone to just check in I wouldn't pay so much, but I wanted someone to stay there, that was the arrangement.  Needless to say H and I were not happy at all but we didn't say anything about it.  Now Sara is asking when the next time we need her to watch Rex is because she enjoys doing it.  Personally, I think she just enjoys the money....   How would you guys approach this?  She's since brought it up about watching him again multiple times.  Do we let her know we no longer trust her or bean dip or get over it?

Note: I realize in the scheme of things this is very trivial and I spoil my dog way to much.

 

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Re: Dog Sitting Frustration - WWYD

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    OMG I would be so upset!  I do the same dog sitting arrangement when I leave town, and I would be SO annoyed if the person was not actually doing what they said they would do.

     

    I don't know if I would necessarily tell her you no longer trust her unless she continues to confront you or asks why you got a different sitter next time.  Instead I would just say "oh yeah, we'll let you know if we need your help again.  thanks!" and then hire someone else

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    I don't know what you should do, but I wanted to say I understand where you're coming from. I don't think you're being trivial. That would bother me too.

    My dogs are also very spoiled.
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    I would absolutely confront her. The fact is, you are paying her for a job she didn't do and I don't think it's out of bounds for you to speak to her about it. 

    In the meantime, I'd look for another dogsitter. 
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    Thanks guys!  Zero question about it that we will be hiring someone else next time.  It's just so awkward because as a family friend she's around at a lot of functions for H's side.  She's closer to H's aunts and uncles and I know she sits for them too.  I'm torn because I feel like we should say something (perhaps she's doing the same thing to others) but I also feel like we should just let it go, bean dip her questions about next time, and move on to not start anything.
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    Wow. Heads would roll if someone did that to me. That's bullshit, especially since you're paying her well. HOW DID YOU NOT BUST HER OUT WHEN SHE CLAIMED TO BE AT YOUR HOUSE?!!! 

    I think next time she asks to watch Rex you need to respond with "I know you weren't at our house when you claimed to be because we were there. Now I don't know how much time you've actually spent with my dog, and that's what we hired you for. I'm sorry, I just don't have enough confidence in you to hire you again." 

    I mean yeah the dog still got checked on by MIL so I'm sure he was ok, but like you said, what about when you were gone for a WEEK? Poor dog. 

    To what I just posted at the same time as this.  Being a family friend we were unsure if we wanted to  "rock the boat" or not.  Wanted to think it over I suppose.
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    l9i said:
    Wow. Heads would roll if someone did that to me. That's bullshit, especially since you're paying her well. HOW DID YOU NOT BUST HER OUT WHEN SHE CLAIMED TO BE AT YOUR HOUSE?!!! 

    I think next time she asks to watch Rex you need to respond with "I know you weren't at our house when you claimed to be because we were there. Now I don't know how much time you've actually spent with my dog, and that's what we hired you for. I'm sorry, I just don't have enough confidence in you to hire you again." 

    I mean yeah the dog still got checked on by MIL so I'm sure he was ok, but like you said, what about when you were gone for a WEEK? Poor dog. 

    To what I just posted at the same time as this.  Being a family friend we were unsure if we wanted to  "rock the boat" or not.  Wanted to think it over I suppose.
    I think you have a right to be honest in this situation. Family friend or not, she was wrong and she lied and she did not do what she was paid to do. Who cares who she's friends with. I think you should also warn the other people she dog-sits for about what happened. I would rather hire someone I know is going to actually be there with my dogs than to find out after the fact that my dogs sat alone in the house all day and all night and didn't even get to go outside. This makes me so ragey for you! 
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    I would rage if I paid someone good money to babysit my dog and they a) didn't do what was expected and b) lied to me about it. I would be incredibly concerned that she was possibly doing this to other family members as well. Our dog is a huge part of our lives and I would be so upset if someone didn't take watching him seriously. I wouldn't let this one go - I would be upfront and honest with her. Otherwise she will continue to ask and will have no idea that you know the truth. Maybe if you call her out on it, she'll actually put forth the effort with your family members' pets.
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    By the way, you guys are awesome! I really felt I was over reacting with being upset because I'm obsessive about my fur-child. Yes, in this situation Rex was most likely fine because I know MIL checked on him (and brought their dog so he got a play date) but what about when we were gone longer???? I recently heard of someone locally that does pet/house sitting so I'll have to check them out for next time. As for Sara, if she continues to bring it up we will break it down for her on why we will no longer be needed her services. As for H's other relatives that use her I will leave how to approach that to H.
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    l9i said:
    Wow. Heads would roll if someone did that to me. That's bullshit, especially since you're paying her well. HOW DID YOU NOT BUST HER OUT WHEN SHE CLAIMED TO BE AT YOUR HOUSE?!!! 

    I think next time she asks to watch Rex you need to respond with "I know you weren't at our house when you claimed to be because we were there. Now I don't know how much time you've actually spent with my dog, and that's what we hired you for. I'm sorry, I just don't have enough confidence in you to hire you again." 

    I mean yeah the dog still got checked on by MIL so I'm sure he was ok, but like you said, what about when you were gone for a WEEK? Poor dog. 

    To what I just posted at the same time as this.  Being a family friend we were unsure if we wanted to  "rock the boat" or not.  Wanted to think it over I suppose.
    Sorry but I would have rocked that boat BIG TIME.  She straight up lied to you.  Like full on obvious lie.  Family friend or not, lying is not cool and you should have called her out on it right then and there.

    I would just tell Sara that you will be finding another dog sitter and if she asks why then tell her that you do not believe she is doing the job she is being hired to do and that she lied about being at your house when she was so obviously not.

    And no, this is not trivial at all.  You want to make sure that your dog is sufficiently cared for while you are away.  H and I only trust a couple of people to stay and take care of our pup while we are gone and if one of them pulled the shit that Sara did there would be hell to pay.

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    I would be equally upset. I think you definitely need to tell her exactly why you don't feel comfortable hiring her again. You paid her for a service and did not get said service, and she lied about it.

    That would be equivalent to taking your car for an oil change, tire rotation, and checking the fluids. You pay $50 for this service but then notice that the fluids were still low and the tires weren't rotated. All they did was change you oil which would have been $30 and lied about it. 

    Don't be a door mat about it because if she is doing it to you then she has done it before.

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    I don't think it's trivial, and the problems here have nothing to do with your dog. You paid someone to do a job and didn't get what you paid for, AND she outright lied to you about it. If someone ripped me off and lied to me about it, I wouldn't trust them alone in my house anymore- would you?

    If she brings it up again, I think it's fair to call her on lying and how you know she wasn't at the house, and tell her you will not be using her services anymore. Just be matter-of-fact about it and keep your tone neutral. If she tries to argue, don't engage and calmly tell her you've made up your mind. I also think you're within your rights to tell your family members of what happened.
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    l9i said:
    Wow. Heads would roll if someone did that to me. That's bullshit, especially since you're paying her well. HOW DID YOU NOT BUST HER OUT WHEN SHE CLAIMED TO BE AT YOUR HOUSE?!!! 

    I think next time she asks to watch Rex you need to respond with "I know you weren't at our house when you claimed to be because we were there. Now I don't know how much time you've actually spent with my dog, and that's what we hired you for. I'm sorry, I just don't have enough confidence in you to hire you again." 

    I mean yeah the dog still got checked on by MIL so I'm sure he was ok, but like you said, what about when you were gone for a WEEK? Poor dog. 

    To what I just posted at the same time as this.  Being a family friend we were unsure if we wanted to  "rock the boat" or not.  Wanted to think it over I suppose.
    Sorry but I would have rocked that boat BIG TIME.  She straight up lied to you.  Like full on obvious lie.  Family friend or not, lying is not cool and you should have called her out on it right then and there.

    I would just tell Sara that you will be finding another dog sitter and if she asks why then tell her that you do not believe she is doing the job she is being hired to do and that she lied about being at your house when she was so obviously not.

    And no, this is not trivial at all.  You want to make sure that your dog is sufficiently cared for while you are away.  H and I only trust a couple of people to stay and take care of our pup while we are gone and if one of them pulled the shit that Sara did there would be hell to pay.
    This.
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    OP, I can assure you this is NOT trivial and you are NOT overreacting! 

    My dogs are like my kids and I genuinely worry whether they're being well-cared for when I'm away. Except when they stay with my parents, then I'm extremely worried they're getting way too many treats and are going to come home with upset tummies. Ugh. 

    Thinking about someone doing to me what Sara did to you seriously makes me so. Fucking. Mad. 
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    Yep, conversation is needed, stat. I don't think it has anything to do with rocking a boat, rather it's following up on an agreed upon service that was never rendered. Family friend or not, she was hired to do something that she didn't do. Ask her why she didn't stay at the house as was arranged, and more importantly, why she lied about being there. She'll continue to do shit like that if she thinks she can get away with that. And I'd go so far as to argue that you owe it to your other family memebers who use her for pet sitting their pets to call her on it. 
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    I would have called her out on it that instant, family friend or not. If someone you are paying fails to do what they are paid for, you should tell them that you know, and why you won't be using their services again.

    Maybe if she realizes she has been caught, she won't try this stunt with any of your other friends. You don't need to make it a screaming match, but you SHOULD tell her you were home early and you also should warn family that she also sits for.
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    I should add that I'm so angry for you. What a crappy thing she did. I would be so angry if someone did that to me!
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    She's a family friend and she lied to you. So what if you have to see her at some family functions. She's the one that fucked up! You trusted her to care for your dog, and she didn't even bother to show up! What if something had happened to your dog while you were away? 

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    She's a family friend and she lied to you. So what if you have to see her at some family functions. She's the one that fucked up! You trusted her to care for your dog, and she didn't even bother to show up! What if something had happened to your dog while you were away? 

    I don't think she would have wanted to see the rath of mama bear on that one!

    I feel like if we did choose to tell his one Aunt it wouldn't matter.  Sara is like a second daughter to them, but I guess then at least we'd say we tried!

    I think one thing that also really bothers me is that she works in child care.  So the scarier thought is now what about the kids she watches??  Yes, there is a leap from dog to child but still.  Obviously there's a character flaw of honesty at play.

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    anjemonanjemon member
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    edited November 2014
    PP's have already said this, I'm going to agree. You're not being trivial.

    Especially what @blabla89 said. Take out the dog/house sitting portion. You paid her a fee expecting to get one thing and she obviously didn't do that. Which means she was ripping you off or not giving you good quality work. Both those reasons are good reasons to no longer use someone.

    If you're still worried about rocking the boat, maybe you can just tell your family that you want someone who will stay with your pup. And Sara was not able to do that, so you decided to use someone else. That way it's not throwing blame around and burning bridges (because you will still have to see her) but your family can know what's going on. And maybe your aunts/uncles are less worried about time spent with the puppy so the arrangement would be okay for them.

    ETF: words. sometimes they are hard.
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    I totally would have confronted her immediately when she said she was at the house. My response would have been some smartass comment, like "Where are you hiding at then, because we got home early and I'm sitting on the couch with Rex right now" or "OMG!  You can get so rich with that invisibility trick!".  I would have been too pissed to not call her out on it immediate, friend or not.  I would definitely say something to her about it though.  She needs to know that she's been caught and hopefully that will keep her from doing the same thing to others.

    The last couple times we have gone out of town have been longer 7-10 day trips.  We can't stand being away from our dogs that long, so we set up a camera in the living room that we can check on our phones.  Our house/pet sitter was aware of it and didn't mind, since it was focused on the door and we only checked it once or twice a day.  Plus, she understood that we would miss our "kids" and wanted to be able to see them while away.  She also was nice enough to send us photos of them a couple times, just to keep us updated. 

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    You are not being trivial. I would have confronted her immediately but since it is too late for that, the next time she asked about watching I would tell her in very blunt terms exactly why you will never have her watch the dog again. I would also warn your relatives who sometimes have her pet sit. Even if they don't listen you would have tried. Gah! I'm angry for you.
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    I totally would have confronted her immediately when she said she was at the house. My response would have been some smartass comment, like "Where are you hiding at then, because we got home early and I'm sitting on the couch with Rex right now" or "OMG!  You can get so rich with that invisibility trick!".  I would have been too pissed to not call her out on it immediate, friend or not.  I would definitely say something to her about it though.  She needs to know that she's been caught and hopefully that will keep her from doing the same thing to others.

    The last couple times we have gone out of town have been longer 7-10 day trips.  We can't stand being away from our dogs that long, so we set up a camera in the living room that we can check on our phones.  Our house/pet sitter was aware of it and didn't mind, since it was focused on the door and we only checked it once or twice a day.  Plus, she understood that we would miss our "kids" and wanted to be able to see them while away.  She also was nice enough to send us photos of them a couple times, just to keep us updated. 

    She sent us a pic that night from the walk she took him on.  My theory is that she spent time there Saturday evening and then didn't stay and didn't check on him at all Sunday....

    The camera is actually clever.  I'm the same way... I'm excited coming back from vacations just because I miss my fur child that much!

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    l9i said:

    I totally would have confronted her immediately when she said she was at the house. My response would have been some smartass comment, like "Where are you hiding at then, because we got home early and I'm sitting on the couch with Rex right now" or "OMG!  You can get so rich with that invisibility trick!".  I would have been too pissed to not call her out on it immediate, friend or not.  I would definitely say something to her about it though.  She needs to know that she's been caught and hopefully that will keep her from doing the same thing to others.

    The last couple times we have gone out of town have been longer 7-10 day trips.  We can't stand being away from our dogs that long, so we set up a camera in the living room that we can check on our phones.  Our house/pet sitter was aware of it and didn't mind, since it was focused on the door and we only checked it once or twice a day.  Plus, she understood that we would miss our "kids" and wanted to be able to see them while away.  She also was nice enough to send us photos of them a couple times, just to keep us updated. 

    She sent us a pic that night from the walk she took him on.  My theory is that she spent time there Saturday evening and then didn't stay and didn't check on him at all Sunday....

    The camera is actually clever.  I'm the same way... I'm excited coming back from vacations just because I miss my fur child that much!

    Yeah, the cameras aren't that expensive and fairly easy to set up.  The one we have now (Tenvis TR3818) even allows us to move the camera angle, has night vision, and can listen and speak... and it only cost about $50. Then we can just control it and check in from our phone. Before that, we just set up my laptop with free software (ispyconnect.com) to connect into the built-in webcam remotely. The first time we did it, we set up my computer in one room and DH's computer in another room, but we learned that our dogs tend to hang out by the front door mostly when we aren't home, even taking their toys and bones over to that area, so we are able to just set up one camera in that area now. 95% of the time they are within that area when we check in. 

    Some of the cameras or software do motion activated recordings, so when you get online, you can see all the recordings anytime there was movement. The ispy software did this.  It was nice because we had someone just check on them once or twice a day the first time we use that one and were we able to get online and could see that there were recordings for each time he was there. Plus, a lot of times when we checked in on the dogs, they were just laying by the door sleeping, so it was nice being able to see that they did actually get up from time to time and do stuff, even if we couldn't see it happening live.

    But, I suspect that the cameras, which our pet sitters were fully aware of, created a sense of accountability to encourage them to do a good job.  They knew that we could get on and check in at any time and they have usually gone above what we expected or requested of them.  Plus, it does help relieve our stress a bit knowing that we can actually get on and see for ourselves that they are still alive and moving.  

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    I also might have texted back "Great! We are actually coming home early and we are just around the corner, see you in a minute!" Just to make her panic.
    I heart this idea! haha 
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    I've got nothing to add, and COMPLETELY agree with PPs. My dog is my baby and I would never stand for someone leaving him alone when she said she'd be there. I'd be so ragey, I don't think my FI would be able to calm me down before I started to go off on that girl.

    You paid her for a service she did not do, aka SHE STOLE FROM YOU. Strike 2. I'd flat out tell her why she's never allowed in my home again and I'd sure as hell tell her to give me my money back. Even if she didn't, she needs to understand the seriousness of this. 
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    My DH would have to deal with telling "Sara" what an asshole she is and why she'll never be allowed in our house again. Because if I came anywhere near her I wouldn't be able to assure her safety. My dog is my kid and if I thought he had been left alone when someone was supposed to be watching him, I'd flip my shit. 
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