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Shotgun Wedding!!

headhurtheadhurt member
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in Wedding 911
Okay, so the FI and I have been working with a fertility specialist, and we decided that with my age (39), that we probably shouldn't wait until after the wedding to get crackin' on a baby. However, we did not anticipate the first regimen the doc put us on to work the first time I did it (we'd been doing some other non-intensive methods before), and now I am preggars. Yay! We were just going to push back the wedding and have our own little nugget be the flower girl or ring bearer, but FI's mother, traditional and very Colombian, issued the decree that we were to be married now, and not wait. lol

So, we moved our wedding from May of next year to this December! Fortunately, our venue has been fabulous (and excited) to work with this new change of plan. All our vendor have been on board. We've had to scramble with a lot of things: invites, dress, etc. It's scary and exciting at the same time. The wedding is important, and we want it to be nice, but our perspectives have changed quite a bit, and we both realize that the wedding is no longer the most important thing ever.

Wish me luck! Send good energy because, dammit, I'm exhausted!! (and nauseated). lol
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Re: Shotgun Wedding!!

  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'm surprised you bowed to your FMIL's wishes - I mean, what difference does it make? It's pretty damn obvious you had sex before marriage, so at this point I don't really get her beef. Or you changing the date for her! 

    Just relax and have fun! Congratulations on your new baby! 
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  • nicole4793nicole4793 member
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    That is so exciting!! Congrats on the baby and good luck wedding planning.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
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    Congrats!  Try to relax and enjoy the process.  And like you said, the wedding isn't all that important in the big picture... you have a marriage and family to concentrate on and be excited for.  The wedding is one day just to celebrate the start of the next step in your lives.  So, even if everything isn't perfect (it probably won't be) or doesn't turn out exactly like you imagined (it probably won't), it's just one day out of many years of your life.  So, don't overstress and just go with the flow and enjoy it. 

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    Congrats and good luck!
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  • NymeruNymeru member
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    I'm so glad that everything is falling into place for you!  How exciting!
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  • headhurtheadhurt member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    southernbelle0915 said:
    I'm surprised you bowed to your FMIL's wishes - I mean, what difference does it make? It's pretty damn obvious you had sex before marriage, so at this point I don't really get her beef. Or you changing the date for her! 

    Just relax and have fun! Congratulations on your new baby! 
    She didn't have beef, and we certainly didn't change it to appease her. FI's family have been amazingly supportive (more than my own family sadly, who have been pretty ambivalent). It's more than his mom wanting me to do the honorable thing just for the sake of doing it, but it is about properly respecting the woman who is carrying his child. Respect is a huge thing in his family. So is honoring your family. I'm not mad about moving the date. It feels pretty good to be loved and respected this fiercely.

    At the end of the day, it worked out. We actually came out of this better financially with the venue because they shaved off quite a bit of money to have it in December, as opposed to May. Then, I can just focus on doing baby things, and not have to worry about wedding stuff.
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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
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    Yay! So fun! This happened to my bestie and she managed to pull off a fantastic wedding with just a few months of planning. Also, it's pretty sweet to know that your little nugget will be there, at your wedding, even if you haven't met her/him yet!! Love!
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  • princessofgenoviaprincessofgenovia member
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    beethery said:
    KatWAG said:
    headhurt said:
    southernbelle0915 said:
    I'm surprised you bowed to your FMIL's wishes - I mean, what difference does it make? It's pretty damn obvious you had sex before marriage, so at this point I don't really get her beef. Or you changing the date for her! 

    Just relax and have fun! Congratulations on your new baby! 
    She didn't have beef, and we certainly didn't change it to appease her. FI's family have been amazingly supportive (more than my own family sadly, who have been pretty ambivalent). It's more than his mom wanting me to do the honorable thing just for the sake of doing it, but it is about properly respecting the woman who is carrying his child. Respect is a huge thing in his family. So is honoring your family. I'm not mad about moving the date. It feels pretty good to be loved and respected this fiercely.

    At the end of the day, it worked out. We actually came out of this better financially with the venue because they shaved off quite a bit of money to have it in December, as opposed to May. Then, I can just focus on doing baby things, and not have to worry about wedding stuff.
    Jigga what? The honorable thing?
    Apparently the honorable thing here was to kowtow to FMIL's demands for fear of stepping on toes.

    I'm not buying all that about respecting the woman who is carrying the child stuff. Sounds like FMIL got huffy, FI got nervous, and to shut somebody up, they pulled the trigger and are getting married asap. Spades are spades.
    Yeah...this. My parents got married when I was 6. My father still respects my mother. They just didn't see a reason to rush into marriage just because she was pregnant. Despite my paternal grandmother saying he should marry her since she was "in the family way", they still didn't get hitched.
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  • headhurtheadhurt member
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    edited November 2014
    I may have been dating myself when I mentioned "the honorable thing". I think it's fallen so far from practice, no one uses the phrase anymore. I didn't mean anything by it, so I apologize if anyone took it personally. My brother actually did it when he knocked his booty call up. Now, he's stuck with a hose beast of a baby mama long after the divorce.

    Again, it's not like I "got into trouble" and am looking for a way to make our union "legit". We had already planned a wedding, we were working with a fertility specialist. So, it's not like we were not anticipating these things. However, it just goes to show how life conspires when you are busy making other plans. Having a kick-ass doctor probably helped. We underestimated her prowess.

    That aside, I'm surprised at how many people took umbrage at our choice to move the wedding up. It wasn't an ultimatum, and we certainly didn't feel pressure to do it. We actually laughed at the request because it sounded funny when she said it. But, I guess those who were not even present during the conversation would certainly know better than I would.

    Thanks, though, for those who offered their heartfelt congrats. I appreciate the positive energy. At the end of the day, I'm still pretty ecstatic with the way things are turning out (even if I'm not getting all the naps I want). Life is good!
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    headhurt said:
    I may have been dating myself when I mentioned "the honorable thing". I think it's fallen so far from practice, no one uses the phrase anymore. I didn't mean anything by it, so I apologize if anyone took it personally. My brother actually did it when he knocked his booty call up. Now, he's stuck with a hose beast of a baby mama long after the divorce.

    Again, it's not like I "got into trouble" and am looking for a way to make our union "legit". We had already planned a wedding, we were working with a fertility specialist. So, it's not like we were not anticipating these things. However, it just goes to show how life conspires when you are busy making other plans. Having a kick-ass doctor probably helped. We underestimated her prowess.

    That aside, I'm surprised at how many people took umbrage at our choice to move the wedding up. It wasn't an ultimatum, and we certainly didn't feel pressure to do it. We actually laughed at the request because it sounded funny when she said it. But, I guess those who were not even present during the conversation would certainly know better than I would.

    Thanks, though, for those who offered their heartfelt congrats. I appreciate the positive energy. At the end of the day, I'm still pretty ecstatic with the way things are turning out (even if I'm not getting all the naps I want). Life is good!

    Wow, I just dont even know where to begin with that.

    So in an attempt to take the high road, I am going to hold back what I really want to say, and just say congrats.

    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • esstee33esstee33 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    headhurt said:
    I may have been dating myself when I mentioned "the honorable thing". I think it's fallen so far from practice, no one uses the phrase anymore. I didn't mean anything by it, so I apologize if anyone took it personally. My brother actually did it when he knocked his booty call up. Now, he's stuck with a hose beast of a baby mama long after the divorce.

    Again, it's not like I "got into trouble" and am looking for a way to make our union "legit". We had already planned a wedding, we were working with a fertility specialist. So, it's not like we were not anticipating these things. However, it just goes to show how life conspires when you are busy making other plans. Having a kick-ass doctor probably helped. We underestimated her prowess.

    That aside, I'm surprised at how many people took umbrage at our choice to move the wedding up. It wasn't an ultimatum, and we certainly didn't feel pressure to do it. We actually laughed at the request because it sounded funny when she said it. But, I guess those who were not even present during the conversation would certainly know better than I would.

    Thanks, though, for those who offered their heartfelt congrats. I appreciate the positive energy. At the end of the day, I'm still pretty ecstatic with the way things are turning out (even if I'm not getting all the naps I want). Life is good!
    Hey, if you don't want opinions from strangers on the internet, don't post this shit on the internet. 
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    headhurt said:
    My brother actually did it when he knocked his booty call up. Now, he's stuck with a hose beast of a baby mama long after the divorce.
    I just.... 
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  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
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    Congrats on the baby, and I'm glad things are working out! That being said, I seriously recommend checking your attitude.

    Formerly martha1818

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