Timeline Help

[Deleted User] · November 2014

Hi ladies - Could we get some input on this part of our timeline?

(Edited timeline - based on your comments)

3:00-4:00 First Look and Couple's Portraits

[4:00 musicians arrive and start playing music shortly after]

4:00- 4:30 Quiet time in separate groom and bride rooms with wedding party and parents.

4:30-5:00 Ceremony

5:00-6:00 Cocktail Hour (serving food and drinks; possibility for everyone to sit; held in a room adjacent to the reception room)

[5:00-5:15 portraits with parents; 5:20-5:30 couple pictures outside; 5:30-5:40 wedding party pictures outside (we're getting married in a very cold winter setting so we decided to only do outdoor pictures after the ceremony in case the snow affects the girls' hair)]

5:40-6:00 bride and groom at cocktail hour to greet guests (+ candid shots of guests… we can't afford for the photographer to stay the entire evening so this is our way of having candid shots of guests)

6:00-6:15 Reception doors open Bride and groom "run away", guests are seated, bride and groom remain with the guests at the cocktail hour and enter reception room with whomever they are talking

6:15 Uncle introduces himself, welcomes guests, and invites bride and groom to have first dance

6:20 First dance (guests served glass of champagne during first dance)

6:25 Uncle introduces MOH/sister, MOH toast/speech (3 mins); uncle introduces best man, best man toast/speech (3 mins); uncle invites grandfather to bless the meal

6:35 Dinner starts (during the meal, parents may offer a toast if they want)

6:35-6:55 First Course

6:55-7:15 Second Course

7:15-7:45 Third Course

7:45 Desert is served and guests start eating

8:00 Uncle introduces BM as best friend to both bride and groom. BM toast/speech (3 minutes); special tradition to welcome bride intro groom's culture performed by groom's friend (it's a Newfoundland tradition called "screeching in" that involves kissing a cod and drinking a shot of "screech" rum); bride and groom give heartfelt thanks to everyone for attending and invites everyone to dance (1-2 minutes)

8:10 or whenever bride and groom thank is finished bride, groom, and wedding party start dancing. Start with songs that most people know, transitioning to more "fiddler-style" music, then playing a few fiddle songs, and then…

8:30-9:30 Fiddle band! (great for getting everyone on the dance floor)

9:30-12:00 Party! (reception "activities" - tons of party props and designated "photobooth" area)

12:00 Exit (could be earlier if party dies down sooner; our venue has a very tiny but amazing club in its basement so we may end up there with our friends for an after-party)

The original timeline was

3:00-4:00 First Look and Couple's Portraits

[4:00 musicians arrive and start playing music shortly after]

4:00- 4:30 Quiet Time (we wanted some quiet alone time before the ceremony to center ourselves)

4:30-5:00 Ceremony

5:00-6:00 Cocktail Hour (serving food and drinks; possibility for everyone to sit; held in a room adjacent to the reception room)

[5:00-5:15 portraits with parents; 5:15-5:40 wedding party pictures outside (we're getting married in a very cold winter setting so we decided to only do outdoor pictures after the ceremony in case the snow affects the girls' hair)]

5:45: bride and groom arrive at cocktail hour and greet all guests individually (+ candid shots of guests… we can't afford for the photographer to stay the entire evening so this is our way of having candid shots of guests)

6:00 Bride and groom "run away" and reception doors open

6:15 Uncle (MC) welcomes the guests and introduces us

6:20 First Dance (doing it right away so that we can have some pictures; photographer will leave at 7:00). Guests are given a glass of champagne.

6:25 (ish) Uncle gives a mini (2 minute) speech; then passes the mic to MOH/sister (3 minute max); and then Best Man (3 minute max)

6:40 First Course is served

7:00 Second Course is served

7:20 As second course is being cleared, Uncle introduces MOB; MOB speech (FOB passed away) (3 minute max); and then parents of the groom (3 minute max)

7:30 Third Course is served

8:00 As third course is being cleared, Uncle introduces Bridesmaid (close friend of both bride AND groom who was there the night we met); BM speech (3 minute max);"special" tradition to welcome bride into groom's culture (it's a Newfoundland tradition called "screeching in" that involves kissing a cod (fish) and drinking a shot of "screech" rum) performed by groom's friend who is also from Newfoundland; bride and groom speech thank everyone for coming (3 minute max) and inviting everyone to dance after enjoying desert

8:15 Desert is served

8:30 First "party" songs… we'll start with songs that most people know, transitioning slowly to more "fiddler-style" music, then playing a few fiddle songs, and then...

9:00-10:00 Fiddler band! (great for getting everyone on the dance floor)

10:00-12:00 Party! (reception "activities" - tons of party props and designated "photobooth" area)

12:00 Exit (could be earlier if it seems to be better)

(Our venue has a very tiny but amazing club in its basement so we may end up there with our friends for an after-party!!!)

Lauderdale Pink · November 2014

It all sounds amazing, but I hope you are allowing for some wiggle room. This is your wedding not a military maneuver. The best part for me at weddings is when the cocktail hour is after the ceremony. The bridal party can enjoy some of it, after being freed from pictures and you and hubby will probably get more quiet time before being introduced. Also, trying not to sound tacky, you can get away with less food because guests know they will be eating soon. I know this sounds un-traiditional, but my daughter and son both did the majority of posed pictures before the ceremony and were able to enjoy more time with the guests. I will caution you about the outdoor pictures. They are beautiful, but most of us are still sick two weeks later.

artbyallie · November 2014

Please do not make your wedding party be in pictures (for almost half an hour?!) outside in the snow in formalwear. If you and your groom want your picture made outside, fine, but do not force anyone else to suffer. My cousin did wedding party pictures outside for her December wedding and though it was not snowing and not even freezing temps it was no fun.

lovegood90 · November 2014

I think you have too many speeches. IMO all speeches/toasts should last 3-5 mins max TOTAL, ie including everyone added up. Also if you're having speeches I'd have them while people are eating.

Maggie0829 · November 2014

lovegood90 said:

I think you have too many speeches. IMO all speeches/toasts should last 3-5 mins max TOTAL, ie including everyone added up. Also if you're having speeches I'd have them while people are eating.

This. You have 7 speeches that will last up to 20 minutes. Your guests will stop listening and caring.

Anyway you shouldn't be having speeches, you should be having toasts. Meaning someone stands up and says a quick something special about you and then a "congrats to the bride and groom." 30 seconds tops. Done. Like lovegood said, these toasts should be a combined total of 3-5 minutes max.

And I second (or third) the outdoor picture comments from PP. If you and your FI want to take outdoor photos then go for it. But don't make your bridal party stand outside in the freezing cold just for some pretty pictures.

redoryx · November 2014

Please please please reconsider the outdoor photos. Especially since you say you have a "very cold winter setting.' If you and your FI want them, fine, but don't make your wedding party suffer through it for nearly half an hour just because it fits your wedding picture vision.

Jen4948 · November 2014

I agree with the PPs. Definitely skip the outdoor photos in winter, especially given how cold it can get and that the wind chill factor can lower the temperature even more. There are few things less pleasant than being required to spend time outdoors in cold weather while dressed up, especially if it's windy or particularly wet as well. If you force your wedding party members to do that, then no matter how much they love you, they are not going to appreciate it.

And lose some of those speeches and introductions. I would tune out after the first two or three, so I'd limit them to a total of 5 minutes and not treat your guests like a captive audience while they're going on. Have them all happen during while people are eating.

And while you and your FI want to spend 30 minutes "centering yourselves" right before the ceremony, what are your families and wedding party members supposed to do during that time while dressed up but nothing is happening? I think you need to do your "centering yourselves" before then and stay centered.

cafarrie · November 2014

I think having your guests seated from ~6pm (when you "run away" and get re-introduced) until after 8:15 pm when dessert is served is WAY TOO LONG.

Also, IMHO it's really silly to be at your cocktail hour, run away and hide, and then be introduced after you've already talked to all your guests. If you want cocktail hour to end at 6 this is what i would do:

6pm: Uncle takes the mic, invites guests to be seated for your first Dance as Mr. and Mrs X

6:10 Do your first dance and get pictures

6:15 Serve first course

6:25 - 6:30 MOH/BM/UNCLE TOAST (not speech, why is your DJ uncle also talking?) these should be no more than 2 minutes per person MAXIMUM - and listening to speeches with nothing else to do is super boring as a guest. At least let them eat their salads while people are speaking.

6:40 serve second course

7:10 serve third course

7:40 serve dessert

7:45 do other toast/traditions while people are finishing dessert

8:00pm invite people to start dancing and then actually start dancing.

I think that people need something else to do (like eat a salad, or dessert) while so many people are toasting if they're going to be sitting that long. Also, don't invite people to dance until it's actually time to dance (i.e. don't invite dancing until dessert is over)

ETA: i still feel like this is too long for people to sit, but i'm not sure what else to cut/condense? Limiting the number and length of toasts will help immensely.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

Thanks for your all your suggestions!! I'm putting a lot of details in my answers because we want honest input.

Quiet time

I didn't explain that right; it's quiet in the sense that we won't have anything to do. We wanted to avoid being together right up to the ceremony start time so we'll be spending the half hour in separate rooms at the venue with our BMs/GM and parents.

Outdoor pictures

1. We talked with each member of the wedding party INDIVIDUALLY asking them how they would feel about taking some pictures outside and really emphasizing that it was only an idea and that they should feel free to tell us to f-off they didn't want to do it. Everyone was really enthusiastic about it; it's unusual to have winter weddings and they all thought it would be fun.

2. We're all Canadian and used to this cold weather so we'll all be wearing the proper outdoor clothing (and NOT taking it off for pictures… the pics will be in wool coats which they all already own).

3. The wedding party won't wait around in the cold. My FH and I will do some portraits and then we'll call them to let them know it's time for group pics.

4. MOST IMPORTANTLY: It all depends on the weather! If it's -20C, really windy, snowing a lot, or simply particularly "yuck" outside, then we won't be taking outdoor pictures or maybe only my FH and I will take them! More time at cocktail hour!

Does that context alleviate some of your concerns?

Length of Dinner

We'll be about 50-55 in attendance for dinner and everyone is very much "dinner party" types. Dinner at my grandparents' house generally starts at 6:00 and at 11:00 everyone is still talking at the dinner table (despite the fact there's a huge living room that could accommodate everyone next to the dining room). Our friends are the same way…

That being said, I hadn't thought of the fact that some people will be sitting from 6 (when the doors open) until about 8:30 (when they're done eating desert). Two hours for dinner is completely fine for our crowd, but adding half an hour for wedding party introduction and first dance etc… is probably too long. We'll have to find a way to fix that.

Toasts

It's customary in our circles for toasts to include a speech so we'll have some, but in light of your comments we'll cut:

- Our parents won't give speeches (they're not hosting), but we may simply ask them to give a toast at whatever time of their choosing if they want to (i.e. clicking their glass when/if they want to). Would that work?

- Our "speech" will be very short since we're simply giving a heartfelt thanks to everyone for coming and inviting them to dance (which we'll make sure to do once everyone is done eating so that they can all then dance - thanks for the suggestion!!)

- My uncle's "mini speech" is simply to introduce himself so that will probably be very short. He may also have something personal to add since he is my father's brother and my father passed away.

That being said, we'll definitely have three speeches with toasts - MOH, best man, bridesmaid - and each will be a maximum of two/three minutes.

The "Entrance"

I agree that the "entrance" is pretty awkward since we'll be at cocktail hour. Any suggestions on how to fix that? I suggested something in the edited timeline.

So - in light of your suggestions, this is the edited timeline (times are obviously approximate). Is it better?