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I know you read my message...

cambryncambryn member
First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its
edited November 2014 in Snarky Brides
So, I'm having trouble getting the last 20 or so RSVPs in.

Sent the invites weeks and weeks ago.

Wedding is 12 days out. I need final count ASAP. 

I've privately messaged some people on facebook. I can see they have read it. Days pass- and nothing. Those tool bags have read my message asking if they are attending or not- yet they still have not answered me- either with a simple 'yes' or 'no' in the private message or RSVPing through the wedding website, or anything. 

WHY ARE PEOPLE SO EFFING RUDE?
I could save hundreds of dollars if they'd just give me a straight answer of 'NO.' 
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Is this a new thing? Is it because of facebook parties where you can just say 'maybe'? Are they just entitled? Stupid? I DON'T KNOW.

I'm just tired of this and am seriously mad at them for being such inconsiderate bastards. The really stupid thing, is that half of them are MARRIED. THEY KNOW! And yet, THIS!

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Re: I know you read my message...

  • hellohkbhellohkb mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    That's really annoying. I would give them one more day then tell them you will put them down as a no.


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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    That's really annoying. We had one of H's cousins not even respond. We called her multiple times, and she didn't even bother to answer. 
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think some people are naive and don't understand how important it is to RSVP. 
    Some people are too self-centered to bother.
    Some people are just rude. 
    Some people are extremely absent-minded. 

    I agree with PPs, say you need an answer by a certain date or you'll assume it's a No. 
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    That's annoying. 

    Follow up and say, "If I don't hear from you by Wednesday, November 5th, we will assume you aren't coming and will not be able to reserve seats for you. Please let me know. Thanks."

    Then, instead of stalking whether they've read your message, look at your messages at 11:59pm on Wednesday, November 5th. Track the yes and the no. Anyone unresponsive counts as a "no".
    *********************************************************************************

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  • cambryncambryn member
    First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Viczaesar said:
    There's this handy tool when trying to get hold of people.  It's called a phone.  Call them.  If they don't answer leave a message saying that you hope they can make it but if you don't hear from them by X date you'll have to put them down as a no.
    I don't have these people's phone numbers, otherwise I would. 
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  • cambryncambryn member
    First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    adk19 said:
    cambryn said:
    Viczaesar said:
    There's this handy tool when trying to get hold of people.  It's called a phone.  Call them.  If they don't answer leave a message saying that you hope they can make it but if you don't hear from them by X date you'll have to put them down as a no.
    I don't have these people's phone numbers, otherwise I would. 
    Note to self: get phone numbers along with addresses for everyone you invite to your wedding.  If mom doesn't want to search for cousin Millie's phone number, cousin Millie doesn't get invited.
    That's a good policy. I have a spreadsheet, and I asked and asked for phone and emails for everyone, so we can contact if there's a change in plans or something- and also about RSVP. For some reason prying even just addresses from people was difficult. 
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  • cambryncambryn member
    First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    MrsMack10612 said:

    The bitch in me says if you aren't close enough to someone to have their phone number, why are they invited to your wedding.

     

    Yeah, I only have phone numbers for about 25 people on the list- my immediate family and friends- then my fiance has them for his immediate family and friends- about 25- leaving aunts and uncles we see a few times a year at family events, cousins we only see those times, friends of parents who 'just have to be there' etc. Some of his friends he only talks to via email/ims anymore, same for me for some of them who moved- all together it makes it where it's lots of hunting down numbers from a lot of sources.
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  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Ugh, that sucks.

    And it shows me that when I write/call/follow up with any non-responders, I will say from the get-go: Hi, I just wanted to see if you can make it to the wedding. I realize people's schedules can be tough, but I wanted to let you know that I have to have a final headcount by X date, so if I don't hear from you before noon on that day I'll have to put you down as a "no."

    Maybe it'll save me this headache? Maybe.
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2014
    Honestly, I hate the phone. Even at work, If you want to get a hold of me quickly, email me. I'm much more likely to have a few minutes to email you back ASAP, then I am to call you back. If people aren't responding via Facebook, email or text, why would they respond by phone. I don't get that logic. Sure for people that are not technology savy, you need to call them, but come one, people who are ignoring you by email are going to ignore your phone call also. The method you use to contact them isn't going to change anything.

    And it's obvious that the bride wouldn't have every phone number of every guest. I sure didn't. I probably only had a quarter of the guests' phone numbers, if that. About 1/2 the guest list was my husband's family and friends, some were his parent's friends, and some were my parent's friend. I have no reason to have those people's phone numbers. 

    I also had no issues receiving all my RSVPs, so this wasn't an issue for me anyway.


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  • allispainallispain member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Ugh. I remember this stage. We had multiple people we had to track down like this - they didn't respond to one method of communication so we tried another. We got most of them on the second try (whether yes or no), but there was one particular person I first called, then e-mailed, then finally facebook messaged. Still haven't heard from her and the wedding was a year and a half ago. She just disappeared from my life - shouldn't be too surprised, since the did the same to another mutual friend who had gotten married the year before, after no showing to her wedding. I guess some people just react funny to weddings?
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    cambryn said:
    MrsMack10612 said:

    The bitch in me says if you aren't close enough to someone to have their phone number, why are they invited to your wedding.

     

    Yeah, I only have phone numbers for about 25 people on the list- my immediate family and friends- then my fiance has them for his immediate family and friends- about 25- leaving aunts and uncles we see a few times a year at family events, cousins we only see those times, friends of parents who 'just have to be there' etc. Some of his friends he only talks to via email/ims anymore, same for me for some of them who moved- all together it makes it where it's lots of hunting down numbers from a lot of sources.
    Yeah I don't have my aunts' and uncles' phone numbers. I'm not a phone-communicator normally.
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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Nothing turned into Bridezilla like people refusing to RSVP on time. Or even worse, RSVPing on time (or not on time, after we harassed them for a response) and then CHANGING their mind seriously the like 2 or 1 day before our wedding. We had almost 10 flakes - people who RSVPed yes, and then in the days before our wedding, let us know they wouldn't be making it. I was livid. I was SO MAD. I was floored by how on earth people we know and love could be so freaking rude. And then my wedding happened. And I totally stopped caring. Seems like a huge deal now, will so not be a huge deal on your day, I promise. Refrain from calling people out on their crazy rudeness, even if it pains you. You'll be glad you didn't call them out once the best day ever actually happens and you no longer care, I promise. 
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  • abbyj700abbyj700 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Yeah, we had about 8 people in the long run who didn't RSVP at all - even after phone calls, texts and FB PM's. And yeah - the PM's being seen and ignored is REALLY shitty. Like seriously? You can't take 2 seconds to say "Yes" or "No"??

    But none of our people who were rude enough not to respond to VM's and PM's came to the wedding. I'd assume that is usually the case.
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  • danamwdanamw member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    I think a lot of people know they aren't coming to the wedding, but they are embarrassed to say so. So they do nothing, and hope they slip under the radar.

    Of course it doesn't work, but they are like little kids who think if they cover their eyes, no one can see THEM.

    If there have been enough reminders, just consider them in the no column.


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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    There were lots of people invited to my wedding that I didn't have a phone number for. Pretty much all my aunts and uncles and cousins (more than 50 people). We see each other at family gatherings, or occasionally stay in touch via facebook. But my mom has a phone number for every one of those people. It just seems odd that neither you nor any of your closest friends/family that you DO have a number for don't have their phone numbers. 

    We absolutely had to call a number of people. Most of them were like "Oh, sorry, yeah I'm just trying to figure out X's work schedule, or find a babysitter for Y". In those cases we just said "We have to know by X date, otherwise we'll put you down as a no". 
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